Page 43 of Full Speed to a Crash Landing

I take a step closer to him. Too close. “But you’re not going to be here, are you?” I say, voice as quiet as his. “You’re not a crew member. You’re going to get that key for the cryptex and leave.”

“Maybe I like the idea of knowing where you’ll be.” A wry smile. “Just in case I need someone to dive headfirst toward a river of lava with a jetpack strapped to her back.”

“I do leave a lasting impression, don’t I?”

He opens his mouth to say something, but I never hear what it is, because I cross the last few centimeters between us and press my lips to his. I swallow his little gasp of surprise, but then his arms go around me, one hand on my back, pulling me tighter, one hand in my hair as he returns the kiss I gave him threefold.

I never know what I’m going to do until I do it, and I never know whether it’s right or wrong until it’s done, but this? This is right; this is right in a way my body knows before my mind does. And sure, maybe part of this is me filling up the adrenaline that emptied out yesterday, the hard knock of my heart reminding me that I’m still alive, I’m still in this game.

But there’s something else here. Something I didn’t expect.

Rian’s all urgency, all suddenness, all hard strength that doesn’t let go.

And me? I’m...letting him. His arms aren’t just solid and strong and holding me against him. He’s holding me up. My body’s gone slack and willing and boneless.

If he lets me go, I wouldn’t be able to stand on my own.

With one kiss, he’s taken the gravity right out from under me.

But somehow, I’m not falling.

17

It’s past time to go.

I’m the last one to the shuttle bay.

My suit’s on and checked and charged. Helmet under my arm. The door opens, and there’s the crew, everyone but First. They’re on guard duty, I assume. I get all the way down to the main floor. Magnusson’s up the ramp into the shuttle, Saraswati a few steps behind him. Rian holds his arm out, offering to let me board first. And his eyes—

Those are going to haunt me.

“Wait,” I say, and my smile’s not easy but I know it looks like it is. “I forgot something.”

Everyone looks at my suit—fully secure, already checked. My grin turns sheepish.

“We’re going to be forever on that planet,” I say. “I wanted...” I look from Rian to Nandina. It’s easier to lie to her. “I need to get my data recorder. I was going to...”

I let the silence finish the fib. Nandina gets it immediately, I can tell. With a data recorder, I can switch to a private communication channel and record my thoughts. Givemyself a little therapy and processing time while I scour the debris field in the wreckage.

“You have a data recorder?” Rian asks. Sharp, sharp.

“Be right back!” I say, spinning around and bounding toward the main corridor.

“You don’t need—” Magnusson starts, but Nandina says to let me go.

There’s a carbonglass window in the door, and I know through it, they can see me turn left in the direction of the bunk rooms. But I double back, bending over so they don’t see me if they happen to still be looking. Once clear of the window, I run—I have to go fast. If they stop me now, it’s all over. Starboard, then forward. Past the storage, round the bend. I’ve practiced this route; I spent the morning chewing on my porridge and counting the doors, the steps.

To the airlock.

As soon as I open the airlock door, an alarm’s going to beep on the bridge. I figure I’ll havemaybeten minutes then. I put my helmet on.

I open the door.

Step inside.

Slam it shut.

Seal the hatch.

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