Page 2 of After the Storm

I attempt to calm the storm that seeing myself this way stirs in me but it doesn’t work. My damp hair sits in clumps, sticking to my forehead and neck. There’s a pink mark left on my cheek, easily mistaken for having leaned on it for too long. I know better though, the memory of how it got there is too fresh in my mind. Another sob rips through me. Almost immediately, I hear a gentle knock at the door.

“Do you need anything?” Careful words fall from his mouth.

I need a shower. I need a nap. I need to pinch myself and wake up to find that tonight was just a bad dream.

“No, I’m sorry. I’ll be out in a minute,” I rush out. I put on the clothes that he gave me and walk out of the bathroom to find him standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking impossibly more concerned.

“Movie and popcorn? I make the popcorn and you get the blankets out?” he offers. His concern is still there but it’s now laced with something a little lighter, something that somehow holds me together just enough to say yes.

We both move towards the living room, he veers off to the kitchen and I turn toward the couch. I push the couch together like we always do for movie nights here, making the couch more of a pit. After that, I throw the softest blankets I can find onto it, then set the pillows right and crawl to the back of the couch leaning off to one side. Roman comes out a few minutes later, popcorn in hand, and crawls next to me on the opposite edge.

“Movie’s your choice,” he says, handing me the remote. I put on one of my favorite movies,Frozen. Maybe it’s silly, but the snow and ice aspect of the movie always reminds me of my hometown. Growing up in Idaho, we got the kind of snow storms that had you stuck in the house for days. South Carolina is so vastly different. While I love it here, sometimes I do miss Idaho.

It’s not until about half way through the movie that I finally start to feel the tension and anxiety slowly washing away.

“Can we talk about it?” Roman asks, looking over at me as I shovel another handful of popcorn in my mouth.

“About what?” I question, putting the bowl down beside me.

“About whatever had you crying like that at the door?” he asks. Despite the absence of judgment in his tone, I still find myself embarrassed.

“It’s kind of a lot. I don’t think you wanna get into the whole thing.”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to. Now, ifyoudon’t want to—that’s fine. I won’t make you. If it’s about what I want though, I want to talk about it.” He says the words slow and carefully, like he’s scared to break me. I nod in agreement.

“Tyler and I got into an argument and we broke up. Tonight.” The words spill out of me, burning like they’re hot in my throat. I don’t look at him when I say it, mostly because I can’t. I feel sick. Trying to acknowledge what happened tonight feels wrong. Like I should be sweeping it under the rugagainfor him.

“That’s all that happened tonight?” His voice sounds like he’s testing the waters. Phrased like if I say that’s all that happened, he’ll pretend to believe me; and if I tell him everything, he’ll listen. For a split second, I think about how nice it would be to tell someone that doesn’treallyknow me. Someone who won’t have a million questions; that won’t ask why I didn’t tell anyone sooner.

But then the fear sets in and I feel paralyzed by it. I can’t tell anyone what Tyler did, he’ll kill me. I’m not being dramatic. He told me he would himself. Roman’s eyes scan mine and he clocks the fear coursing through me. I see the realization in his face.

“You’re scared to tell me?” That same softness from when I was changing creeping into his tone. “I would never tell anyone or hold it against you if that’s what you’re scared of.” I shake my head, letting him know that’s not the case. His brows furrow together and then all at once, his whole face softens, right past realization and into sympathy.

Before he gets a chance to say anything, I blurt out, “Please don’t tell Ares!” The words come out frantic.Ifeel frantic as that familiar adrenaline pumps through me.

“Hey,” his hand softly lands on mine. “I’m not going to tell anyone anything you tell me tonight. Tyler will never know that I know anything, Audra. You’re safe with me.” There’s a sincerity in his tone. As his words wash over me, I finally feel the full weight of the comfort I came here looking for.I can do this. It’ll be okay.

“Tyler. He—uh… He hit me.”

“Tonight? He hit youtonight?” he asks, a bit of shock in his voice. His eyes drag down my face looking for some physical mark. I watch as his eyes snag on the cheek with the mark on it. I nod my head, and a pained look flashes in his eyes.

“It was tonight, a couple hours ago.” I watch as his jaw ticks, Roman shifts in his seat.

“Was it the first time?” he asks through gritted teeth. I look away, avoiding any judgment that might be in his eyes. I half expect a lecture about letting it happen, or a big outburst of anger at me for me staying after Tyler did it the first time. Instead, I feel two big arms wrap around me and pull me into a hug.

“You’re safe now,” he says against my hair and the tears start pouring out of me. We all know that moment. The one where someone hugs you or asks if you’re okay and all of a sudden you can’t hold it in anymore and you come apart at the seams. That’s exactly what this moment feels like.

“You can never tell anyone, he’ll kill me!” I blurt out through choked sobs. He slides his hand to the back of my neck, pulling me closer into his chest.

“Did he tell you that? That if you told anyone, he would hurt you?” I nod against his hoodie.

The silence is deafening after that. Roman doesn’t say a word and I can’t bring myself to speak even if I wanted to. I spend the next half hour with my head stuffed in his chest crying until there’s nothing left. The whole time Roman gently cradles the back of my head and just lets me get it all out.

Before this moment, I never thought about what being comforted by Roman would be like. He’s been around as long as I can remember but we’ve never been particularly close. Since I moved here twelve years ago, I’ve been best friends with Ares and Ravyn. We’ve always spent every free minute together. Whether we’re just hanging out at home eating pizza and having movie nights or finding some party to be at, it’s always the three of us.

It’s not like I’m unfamiliar with Roman. I’ve spent as much time here over the years as I have at my own house. So while I’ve known Roman just as long, it was never him I was close with. I never would have expected him to be the one comforting me tonight. But now, I can’t ignore the sense of relief I have; the overwhelming sense of calmness. It’s a safety I haven’t felt in over a year.

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