Page 26 of After the Storm

“I just want to go to bed,” I whine, pulling my damp hair from my neck.

“You have to shower, pretty girl,” he says softly, pushing my hair from my face. Just his voice and his presence is such a comfort I don’t want to go sit in the bathroom by myself for a half hour getting cleaned up. Everything feels so overwhelming, it feels like my whole body is an exposed nerve. Tears well in my eyes at the thought of all that needs to be done before I can go to sleep and move on from this day.

“I can’t,” I cry out, letting the tears fall. The whole night has been a nightmare I can’t wake up from and I don’t know how a night at the fair turned into this. I just want to go to sleep and try again in the morning.

“Come on, I’ll clean you up,” he offers, walking to the bathroom and I follow close behind. When I walk in the room he puts me on the bathroom counter carefully.

“What are you doing?” I question him. He leans down, turning the faucet on.

“I’m running you a bath,” he says, standing back up and walking back over to me. “Can I undress you?” he asks, standing between my thighs. I should absolutely say no. In fact it’s the only thing I should say. I should not let him get me naked in this bathroom tonight. However, all I do is nod, keeping my eyes on his.

He offers me a hand, helping me off the counter. He grabs the hem of my T-shirt, lifting it, I assist him, raising my arms above my head. My heart is thrumming in my chest, so hard I almost wonder if he can see it. He reaches behind my back putting our bodies impossibly close.

It’s a miracle I find it in myself to keep breathing when he unclasps my bra and it falls between us as he steps back. The bigger miracle? That he doesn’t even for a second look at my chest. His eyes are locked with mine the entire time, making a point to not make this something it isn’t. Lastly, he undoes the button of my jean-shorts and slides them down my legs, leaving me in just my underwear.

It’s when he slips a thumb into each side, sliding them down that he finally shows some emotion. He twists his eyes shut, rolling his head back as he takes them off of me. And that’s when I know without a doubt that even though he is showing this much restraint, he feels it too.

“Come on, get in,” he orders, turning the water off. I follow his direction and step into the hot water. It’s just hot enough that it stings. Hot enough that it feels like I might actually be able to wash this night off of me.

Roman finds a seat on the floor just the other side of the porcelain tub. He reaches for the shampoo bottle sitting on the ledge and pours it into his hands.

“Let me,” he whispers, leaning over the edge close to my ear. I nod. I’m not exaggerating when I say this is the most intimate moment of my life. Getting undressed by someone who has become one of my best friends, sitting in a tub and letting him wash my hair because I was too weak and tired to do it. I’ve had sex, I’ve done all of it, but this by far is the most intimate.

Roman washes my hair, then conditions it, then washes my entire body. He washes my makeup on my face and wraps me in a towel when he’s done and once again all I can think about is kissing him. I can think of all the reasons I shouldn’t be thinking about it, between Ares, Tyler, the healing process, but still it’s the only thing at the forefront of my mind.

He takes me to my room and dresses me, one piece of clothing at a time. It’s the closest I’ve ever felt to another person. The entire time I’m biting back words I should not be saying to him.

Finally he tucks me into my bed, leaving a kiss on my forehead. He takes the couch and it takes all I’ve got not to beg him to sleep with me, get in this bed with me, and hold me all night. Instead I let my mind race until I finally fall asleep.

Chapter10

Roman

I launchmy body up to a sitting position as panic washes over me. The only sound in the near silent room are soft cries coming from Audra. I turn my body to face her and she’s still fast asleep but rather than the peaceful, soft look I found on her face when she was sleeping on the couch with me, this time her face is twisted in a pained expression.

I climb off of the pull out couch and squat down beside her bed. Another distressed sound falls from her mouth. My heart free falls to my stomach and I think I might even feel it break on impact. I can’t help but reach a hand out and brush the hair from her face.

“Audi, hey,” I whisper in an attempt to stir her awake. Her head thrashes once away from me then back toward me. “Auds. You’re okay, it’s just a dream.”

Finally she budges, lifting her head with a sharp gasp. The panicked look on her face stirs a mix of sympathy and anger in me. Sympathy because it physically pains me to see the look in her eyes while she scans the room. Anger because not even knocking Tyler out will ever be enough to satiate the way I hate him for what he did to her. Knowing there is nothing I can do to him to undo the things he’s left her with is a stomach turning thought.

“What time is it?” Her eyes scan the room frantically before landing on mine. Her face softens like she can finally relax knowing I’m here. And yeah, it might go straight to my head.

“It’s 2am. You had a bad dream,” I say softly, tucking black and white strands behind her ear. She leans her head slightly into my hand and I want to take her face in my hands and kiss her until she doesn’t look so sad anymore.

“Will you sleep with me?” she asks, giving my hand a slight tug. I know I shouldn’t, I know I should tell her no and offer to stay awake while she sleeps or something. The last thing I should be doing is throwing myself into her life when she already has so much going on.

“I don’t know if that’s the best idea, Auds.” I lay the side of my head on her mattress to look at her straight on. The way she is looking at me I know if she asks again I won’t have it in me to say no twice, I know I’ll cave and I’ll get in that bed and hold her all night.

“I don’t care, I just want to feel safe. Please?” She pleads and I’m helpless against it. Saying no to her once was hard enough. I climb in the bed of the girl I’ve dreamed about the better half of my life and I wrap her up in my arms.

I don’t know if my life peaks when she pulls me into the bed by my wrist or when she lays her head on my bare chest and slides a cold hand across my stomach. However, I do know—undoubtedly—I’ll think about her small hand resting on my stomach and her black and white hair splayed out all around me for the rest of my life. Most of all, I know the rich cherry wine and amberwood scent she leaves around me will be burned into my memory forever.

“You’re hard to say no to,” I whisper against her hair as she makes herself comfortable. She nuzzles her head tighter into me.

“So are you,” she sighs.

I don’t know what she means by it. I wonder if she’s talking about the car when she told me she wanted to kiss me. Over a decade wishing and dreaming and I can’t believe she sat in my Jeep tonight and told me she wanted to kiss me.Audra Hart told me she wanted to kiss me.What’s more unbelievable is I told her no. I let my goddamn morals get in the way and the one time I had the opportunity I’ve dreamed of, I passed it up.

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