Page 28 of After the Storm

“Fuck if I know,” I grumble, “I spent the night at her house last night and?—”

“—You spent the night at her house? Dude, that’s like your dream,” he cuts me off quickly, gushing excitedly. He doesn’t even know she told me she wanted to kiss me or that I stripped her naked in her bathroom and gave her a bath.

Normally I would be itching to tell him everything about last night. How my heart was fucking pounding in my chest because it was like watching my dreams come true. But now all I can think about is the cold tone in her voice this morning when she told me she wanted to be alone.

“Yeah but I don’t know what happened. She asked me to get in bed with her in the middle of the night. She had a nightmare and didn’t want to sleep alone. So of course I did because she’s her and I’m me. Then this morning she was so short and cold with me. Said she wanted to be alone. I don’t know man.” The words tumble out something like word vomit.

“She asked you to get in the bed with her in the middle of the night?” His eyebrows shoot to his hairline. “Holy shit. Do you think she’s scared of what Ares will think?”Ares, duh.I don’t know how that didn’t cross my mind. Of course she’s thinking about what my brother will think and how this will affect him. He was the last thing on my mind last night and this morning but now it feels glaringly obvious.

“Yeah, actually,” I admit.

It’s as if it all clicks for me all of a sudden, that it might have nothing to do with anything I did. She’s probably just in her head about my brother and the inevitable fit he’ll throw for this.

For the first time since last night I have the time to think and the clarity to do it well. It’s almost unbelievable the restraint it takes not to kiss a beautiful girl in your passenger seat who just told you it’s all she can think about. Although, nothing compares to the restraint it takes to undress her and bathe her without ever raking my eyes down her body. Regardless of the fact I showed restraint, I’ll still never get the image out of my head.

The time flies by and I’m now headed down to the beach to teach surf lessons despite the fact that all I’ll think of all day is Audra. What’s new though?

I decide to pull out my phone before heading to the beach and shoot her a text with my last free minutes of the day.

Roman

Are you in your head about last night?

Audra

I’m fine. I just need to be alone.

I let out an exasperated sigh, tossing my phone into the shed and head down to my first lesson of the day. I fill up every slot available with a lesson just to try and distract myself from everything. I try to think of anything other than last night or this morning. The effort is completely useless. My final lesson wraps up right as the sun starts to set and the sky is filled with oranges and pinks.

By the time I walk back into The Surf Shop, Beck is gone and everything is turned off. I finish up the things I should have been doing this morning instead of talking about Audra. I send out some payment reminders and invoices to a few customers. Just as I’m starting to sweep the floors my phone rings and it’s her. Audra’s name flashes across my screen and relief settles in my chest. I stop everything I’m doing to talk to her.

I pick up the phone and before I can speak, she does. “I don’t want to be alone anymore,” she says the words so quickly I almost wonder if I heard her wrong but I know her well enough to know I didn’t.

“Then don’t be,” I state simply. As if it could be that easy for us. Instead we have nosey friends, an abusive ex boyfriend, and my little brother. Which until recently, all of that was at the back of my mind. Until of course I realized that without those things, the absolute dream that is Audra Hart, could be within reach.

The line is quiet for a few moments before she finally speaks again. “I need out of my head.”

“I know,” I state simply. Because I do know, I’ve known it since I came to the conclusion with Beck. I know her well enough to know that one thought will send her spiraling for an entire day. There was not a single doubt in my mind after talking to Beck that she was just lost in her own head.

“You’re the only person who can get me out of my head lately.” I know this to be true as well but this time I don’t say it out loud.

“If you want something, just ask, pretty girl,” I prod. There’s another silence on the line before finally, she speaks.

“Will you come and get me?” she finally asks. The words are hardly out of her mouth before I’m reaching for my keys. I can’t ignore the feeling that we’re about to do something we absolutely shouldn’t be doing. At the end of the day though, it’s her and I can’t say no. Not that I’d want to if I could.

“Let me lock up and I’ll be there,” I assure her. I decide right then and there that the only mission tonight is to get her out of her head. In fact I plan on getting her so far out of her own head tonight that she just might fully relax for once. If I do one thing right tonight, it will be showing her a good time, and I know exactly how I plan on doing it.

Chapter11

Audra

“Shit,”I sigh to myself. The second the door closes behind Roman the guilt of rushing him out washes over me in a tidal wave. I’m not quite sure what it is that we’re doing but I know without a doubt that we shouldn’t be doing it.

I don’t know when things changed between us, it wasn’t one particular thing. It was more like one day I woke up and it felt different. It no longer felt like an innocent, new found friendship. All of a sudden it feels more like a betrayal to Ares. That’s how I know something has changed between Roman and I.

On one hand I feel copious amounts of guilt for not telling Ares about Roman and I. On the other, I don’t know what the hell I would even tell him. We aren’t dating, we aren’t really doing anything. Still there is something there that feels like something worth talking about.

Worst of all though, I feel guilt toward Tyler too. I’m filled with this misplaced guilt that I’m being disloyal to Tyler by having these feelings toward Roman. The worst part about having a totally irrational feeling, is knowing it’s irrational and not being able to help but feel it anyway. I know I don’t owe Tyler a single thing. I know that after everything he did to me, he doesn’t deserve to be taken into consideration when I’m making choices. I still can’t shake the feeling that I’m doing something bad, that I’m going behind his back.

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