Page 33 of After the Storm

“This,” she says, stepping forward with a shrug and closing the gap between us. Her skin is touching mine now and I feel it buzzing in every inch of my body. She’s so addicting.

“Us.” She tips her head up to look me in the eye. If my heart was slamming before, I think it might be about to explode now.

“What’s scary about this?” I ask, tucking a strand of soaking wet hair behind her ear.

“Nothing. That’s what scares me.” She exhales harshly. The eye contact is piercing. I can’t pull my eyes away from her. Every cell in my body is screaming for me to kiss her. I thinkshemight even be screaming for me to kiss her. I can’t seem to pull my focus from her lips but when I do, I find she’s looking at mine. I can’t kiss her until she asks. After all that she’s been through, Iwon’tkiss her unless she asks me to.

“If you want something, Auds, you’re going to have to ask.” It comes out so low it’s almost a whisper but it’s not like it matters, I know she hears me. Partially because I’m only inches away from her face at this point. Mostly though, because she does, she asks.

“Kiss me.” The words come out an awful lot like a demand. Not that I care, I would have done it no matter how she asked. I don’t respond—Ican’trespond. I’m speechless and honestly, I’ve waited so long for this, I don’t intend on wasting any time talking.

I wrap a gentle hand behind her neck, bringing her mouth to mine. Our lips brush for a moment before we’re fully consumed in the kiss. I can hear my pulse in my ears, every inch of my skin is tingling. I feel like I’ve been lit on fire. This has to be what heaven is like.Fuck, this might be better.

One of her small hands wraps around the back of my neck and tangles in the hair at the nape of my neck. It starts off gentle but now it’s hungry and urgent. I’ve never been one who really bought into the whole fireworks thing but now I get it because this is the grand fucking finale.

She pulls at me trying to draw me closer but this is as close as two people can get. Where the hell did she learn to kiss like this? I can hardly stomach the thought and immediately push it out of my head.

My tongue swipes across her bottom lip and she lets out the sweetest goddamn noise I’ve ever heard in my life. The softest moan vibrates against my mouth and I’m ruined.

Fucking ruined.There is no coming back from this. It’s this—us—or nothing. It can’t get better than this, this has to be the peak of my life, kissing her with the sound of waves crashing around us. She pulls back from me, chest heaving, and eyes scanning mine.Holy shit.

We’re just looking at each other, in silence.Think Roman. Find something to say. Do not fuck this up. Say something. Say anything.

“Holy shit.”Not that. Jesus.

And just like that, the trance ends. The perfect little bubble of moonlight we’d been existing in bursts, and if that wasn’t bad enough, I’m front and center to watch the realization of what just happened sink into Audra’s eyes. Her eyes flit between mine as the blissful look on her face slowly washes away. I’m helpless to do anything but stand there while she takes a step back and drops her hands back into the water.

“We should go back,” she mumbles, turning her face away from me.No no no. SurelyI misheard her.

“What?” I ask. This can not be how this night ends.

“I want to go back in,” she says, her words much clearer this time. Just like that, she turns and starts wading through the water, back to the shore.

A giant hollow hole opens up in my chest, feeling like it might swallow me whole. This can’t be it. No way after a kiss like that do we just go back to how things were. I can’t. I won’t.

I don’t fight her on it though, I just follow her. Sand sticks to the water running down my legs. It’s uncomfortable but not as uncomfortable as the silence walking back up to the surf shack. I can’t let the night end this way. That kiss waseverything.It was perfect and I’m struggling to understand how we got from there to here.

“Audra, please talk to me,” I call out to her. She stops and turns to face me.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” she says shaking her head. She turns back to walk away.Fuck fuck fuck.I race behind to catch up. I’m next to her now but she refuses to look at me.

“Don’t do this,” I plead. I’m riding the line of sounding desperate or maybe I’ve crossed it. I don’t know, and I don’t particularly care.

“I’m not doing anything,” she snaps.

“You’re pushing me away.”

“Because we can’t do this!” she exclaims. For a moment she stands there, waving her hands, searching for words. “Wejustcan’t, Roman. You know that. It’s just…” She trails off, failing to find the words or refusing to say them.

“Just what, Audra?” I counter, frustration seeping into my tone. I know it’s not fair, but damn it, I can’t just sit by and let her walk away. I already did down at the water, I can’t do it again.

“Nothing. It’s just nothing. It was a mistake, and we can’t do it again.” She trudges back up the rest of the way to the parking lot, arms wrapped around herself and shaking her head.

When I can find it in myself to get moving again, I begin the walk back to the shop, going to grab some spare towels Beck and I keep for the outdoor showers. It’s not miserable out, but certainly I think being warmer would help both of us feel more comfortable on the drive home. At the very least, I hope the towels can be a peace offering, showing Audra I’m still here and that everything is okay. Thatwe’reokay.

I grab the towels, deciding to give her a little more time alone as to not pressure her and dick around in the store, cleaning up imaginary dust and debris from the floor.

As I finish my pathetic attempt at stalling, I gather up the towels and decide to face the music when I hear a car engine pull into the parking lot.

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