Page 39 of After the Storm

It’s hard to ignore how I feel. The more time we spend together the more I feel like there’s something there that needs to be explored. Like I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t find out what there could be between us. There is so much fear in letting things go there given the circumstances but I think there’s just as much fear in never finding out.

“I want a redo,” I blurt out, standing in front of Roman. Confusion twists in his features.

“Redo? Of what?” he asks.

“The kiss. I want a redo,” I elaborate, stepping closer to him. We are standing so close to the way we were the night we kissed I feel like I’m taken back to that night. Every cell in my body is buzzing with anticipation. Until his face drops and he takes a step back. Rejection takes its place.

“I don’t know, Auds.”

“I’m not going to run this time. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself if I don’t explore whatever this is with you,” I admit. His gaze softens but still, there is hesitance there.

“I don’t know if I can stomach that outcome twice.”

“You won’t have to. I’m sure it’s what I want. I want to see where things go. I’m not running anymore,” I assure him. Stepping back into his space. I’m absolutely sure that if he steps back this time, I won’t try again. This is it. He doesn’t though. He takes that last step, closing the gap between us.

“You’re sure?” he asks, leaning down. My heart is racing and burning in my chest. Chocolate eyes swarm mine and I feel like I could die. All I can do is nod.

For the second time, Roman wraps a gentle hand around the back of my neck and brings his lips to mine. It’s just as exhilarating as the first time. Except this time there is no wave of doubt afterwards that leaves me running.

This time with every passing second I want it more. I never want the kiss to end. It’s gentle, it’s hot, and it’s perfect. I lace my fingers into the loose curls of his hair, holding his mouth to mine. His tongue swipes at my lip and without question I let him in. There is no battle for dominance, it’s all his.I’m all his.

His hands snake down my body and one cups a hand full of my ass. The other hooks under my knee and yanks me up to wrap my legs around his waist. His fingers bite at the skin on my hips, holding me to him. I can feel him hardening under me and I can’t help but rock slightly, searching for friction. A breathy moan slips from my lips. Roman pulls away from the kiss and presses his forehead to mine.

“You taste like heaven, Audra,” he whispers, catching his breath. A smile fights at the corners of my mouth. I’m at a loss for words. If the first kiss was fireworks, this one is rockets. It feels like there is magic filling the air around us. I might be floating. “What are you thinking?” he asks, pulling me from my own head.

“That it felt like magic,” I admit. He tries and fails to bite back the smile that spreads ear to ear.

“So no running?” he asks.

“No running,” I confirm, standing on my tip toes and planting another kiss on his lips.

Chapter15

Audra

After gettinghome from the lake this morning I spent my day in equal parts, unpacking, reeling from our kiss last night, and texting Roman non-stop. It’s scary to have hope. Hope for what this could be. I don’t know what scares me more, the possibility that this doesn’t work out, or the possibility that it does.

Guilt still nips at my heels over and over. Guilt that maybe I’m letting this happen too soon. The guilt that I’m once again keeping a piece of my life from my friends and family. I tell myself it’s different because this isn’t a lie that harms me or them but I don’t know if I buy it. I shove the feeling down under the decision that I deserve this.

I throw on a pair of athletic shorts and one of my million hoodies. Roman told me to be ready to be picked up at 7:00pm and it’s currently 6:53pm. I have no idea what he has planned or where he’s taking me. All he told me was that after spending the weekend at the lake house with his family, he wanted me to himself tonight. I do a last touch up to my make up and wait by the door like a teenager. When I finally see headlights I yell a goodbye to my mom and head out to his car. I climb in and he’s looking at me with a smile that could light up the entire northern hemisphere.

“Hi, pretty girl,” he says, leaning across the center console and planting a kiss on my cheek. Warmth spreads across my cheeks as if I wasn’t grinding on him last night in the lake. Every moment with Roman feels like I’m transported back to high school. Crushes and relationships only ever feel like this in high school. Butterflies felt like something of the past, something I’d never feel again, yet here I am. All because he called me pretty girl and kissed my stupid cheek.

“Hi,” I say, clicking my seat belt into place. “What are we getting into tonight?” I ask.

“Taking you out to stargaze. Something tells me you’ll love it.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal. Like he didn’t just plan the nicest date I’ve been on. The only real date I’ve ever been on. Tears well in my eyes even though I know he doesn’t know any backstory to this. I know to him it’s just a nice place to take a girl he likes. He doesn’t know that before we moved here looking at the stars was always how my Aunt Vera took my mind off of missing my mom when she was on her work trips. There isn’t much that I feel like I left behind in Idaho but Aunt Vera I miss all too much. She visits every other year or so but it’s never enough.

“Looking at the stars really is special,” I gush, thinking about all the memories I have including the stars.

“You okay? You look like you might cry,” Roman asks. I nod my head wiping the single tear that escaped my eye.

“I’m okay. Just did a lot of star gazing back in Idaho before we moved here. I miss it sometimes.” He is driving now but still listening to every word I’m saying. The AC is blowing softly through my hair but he leaves the radio off to listen to what I have to say.

“Idaho?” he questions. There isn’t judgment though like there usually is when someone is asking me if I miss it. Normally people ask me like I’d be stupid to miss it. While it isn’t the place that I find myself missing, it still holds a place in my heart.

“No. The family we left there,” I say with a sigh.

“You left family out there? I always just assumed it was always just you and your mom?” he asks. I can’t remember the last time someone cared this much about what my life was like before moving to Doves Harbor. Of course Ares and Ravyn care but they’ve known all of this for years. It isn’t often I get the chance to talk about it.

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