Page 49 of After the Storm

“I won’t hang up until you’re with Beck,” he assures me. I nod.

We sit in uncomfortable silence. The only sounds are me crying and him driving. Some relief washes over me knowing that Beck will be there waiting for me. But for every ounce of relief, there are equal parts guilt and fear. Fear for every mile the red truck stays behind me and guilt for involving another person. I turn into the shop parking lot. I don’t even find a parking spot, I just throw my car in park and stop in the middle of the lot.

“I’m here. Beck is outside,” I say into the phone before rushing out of my car. Despite meeting him only a handful of times, I run into Beck’s arms.

And despite him hardly knowing me, he’s there waiting with open arms when I do. The red truck slows to the parking lot with it’s blinker on to turn in. I make eye contact with Tyler through the window of his truck, and I feel like I could puke. When he sees Beck, he turns his blinker off and keeps going. I turn back to Beck, and he hugs me again.

“You okay?” Beck asks. Normally, I’d lie. I’d downplay it, say I’m alright. I might even lie and say it turns out it wasn’t him. I don’t this time though.

“No.” I admit, dropping my ass to the sidewalk in front of the shop and sitting down.

“Is Roman coming?”

“Yeah, he said he was coming.” Beck sits down next to me.

“That was my ex, Tyler. He uh… he was abusive when we were together,” I admit. It’s the first time I’ve told someone so casually what happened.

Tonight felt like a lesson. For the first time, it doesn’t feel like something to keep under wraps and tell as few people as possible. Tonight, I realized there is power and safety in community, and in numbers. The more people who know what happened, the more people I can call on when I’m not safe.

I might never be able to be one hundred percent rid of Tyler. I know now though that I’m only protecting him by shoving this under the rug.

“Does Roman know?” he asks.

“Yeah. He knows,” I confirm.

“How’d he take it?” Before I can answer, tires come screeching around the corner. It’s Roman in his Jeep. Much like me, he doesn’t bother with a parking spot. He just stops the Jeep and hops out, making his way over to me. I stand up from the sidewalk and run to him. Strong arms wrap around me and I let it all out. I sob into his chest. Black makeup stains the chest of his gray hoodie.

“You’re okay, baby. I’ve got you,” he says, voice vibrating against the top of my head. A strong hand holds me against his chest. I gasp for air over and over but it feels like it’s just out of reach. “Breathe with me. In through your nose. Out like a silent whistle through your mouth.” I breathe with him and slowly I feel like I’m brought back to reality. Back on my two feet.

“It was him, I saw him,” I cry out. “When he passed the parking lot. That means he was watching me at Ravyn’s,” I cry into his chest. A comforting hand strokes through my hair as I cry.

“You’re safe now,” he whispers against the top of my head.

“Can we go in?” I ask. Tipping my chin up to face him. He takes the sleeves of his hoodie and wipes the tears and make up from under my eyes.

“Yeah, let’s go in the shop. We can even lock up once we’re in if it’ll make you feel better,” he assures me. Beck walks in front of us, opening the doors and when we walk in he locks them behind us.

“So what’s the plan? Are we going to kick this kid’s ass or what?” Beck asks, turning to face Roman. A smile creeps up on my face.

“His family is always quick to get cops involved in shit, it’s not worth either of you going to jail.”

“So the guy who can’t keep his hands to himself likes to call the cops? That’s rich.” Beck scoffs. “If you change your mind about how you want this handled, just let me know. I don’t like weak little pieces of shit who think they’re tough ‘cause they can beat up women half their size,” he says and I get the feeling that this isn’t just about me. The way he talks about it gives me the impression that this might not be the first time Beck has dealt with a guy like Tyler.

“You told Beck?” Roman asks.

“Yeah. I felt like I wasn’t protecting anyone but him by keeping it a secret. The more people who know, the more people I can call on when things aren’t safe,” I admit. His eyes light up like a Christmas tree. You’d think I proposed the way his face lights up.

“Auds, I’m so fucking proud of you,” he exclaims. He grabs my shoulders, and holds me out at arms length just looking at me for a moment. “Holy shit. That’s such a big step for you,” he says, pulling me into his chest.Yeah, I guess it is.

“Hell yeah,” Beck chimes in, pulling us into what might be the most awkward group hug I’ve ever been a part of. Still it’s sweet and I know he means well. “If you ever need me, you can call. Roman’s the best friend I’ve ever had. He cares about you which means I care about you.” It’s weird that on a night that could be horrible, a night that someone might label as one of the worst of their life, I feel so filled with love. For the first time since I walked out of Tyler’s apartment, I genuinely feel like everything is going to be okay.

“How do you feel about a restraining order?” Roman asks and I can tell by his tone he’s scared to ask me. I don’t blame him, in the past I’ve had a habit of pushing him away when he tried to give me advice about Tyler.

“I’ve looked into it. You need proof for one. I have none.” I shrug.

“What about him following you? Can you report that and have the report for proof?” Beck asks.

“It would be my word against him unless the police cared enough to actually look into it and catch him themselves, which they won’t unless he hurts me.”

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