Page 54 of After the Storm

“I’m feeling the pool this year. I even wore a bathing suit,” I say and Ravyn pulls her t-shirt up to show the same.

“I’m down with the pool.” Ares shrugs. Beck and Roman just nod.

We all make a mixed drink and head out to the pool with them. I pull the cropped t-shirt I’m wearing over my head and slide my jean shorts down my thighs before turning to everyone and showing my bathing suit off. I decided to commit to the cringe bit and wear one of those bikinis that is the American flag. Ravyn’s jaw hangs open as she fights a laugh. All three of the guys pull fists up to their mouths to keep from laughing.

“This is so disgusting. I love it!” she exclaims.

“Wow, Audi! That really is something,” Ares says with the fakest smile he can muster. I burst out laughing and once everyone can be sure it’s a joke, they start laughing too. I jump in the pool and everyone follows soon after. Ares’ parents and their friends are on deck above us listening to music and talking. I get a whiff of a smell I know all too well.

“Are they smoking weed up there?” I ask, turning to the group. Ares’ turns his nose up in the air, sniffing dramatically like a dog.

“Smells like it.” He pauses and turns to Roman. “Did you know mom and dad smoke?”

“Hell no. No way that’s them,” Roman says with a laugh.

“Okay. Who up there do you think is smoking then?” Ravyn asks. We all turn our attention to the deck above us.

“Has to be the guy with the leg tats,” I say confidently. Ares and Roman look at each other before bursting out laughing.

“That’s mom’s sister’s boyfriend. No way is Aunt Jenna letting him smoke weed. She’s so uptight,” Roman adds. Ares holds his cup up as to cheers to that before taking a drink. Right as I go to make my next guess we all watch as Allison takes the joint to her mouth and takes a hit. She blows the cloud of smoke out and we all stare with our mouths hung open. We all burst out in laughter and cheers and it catches the attention of everyone on the deck. Allison sees us looking up at her and her eyes go wide.

“Hell yeah, Mrs. Dawkins!” Ravyn calls up to her. Ares whacks her arm.

“You kids weren’t supposed to see that!” she yells back down to us.

“Nothing you haven’t caught all of us doing at some point,” Roman calls out to her as a means of support.

“We aren’t kids anymore anyway,” I offer. The universe puts Allison out of her misery and the first pops of the fireworks go off, dragging our attention from her to the opposite side of the pool where fireworks light up the sky. Glittering blues, reds, silvers, and a few other colors explode in the sky.

Everyone migrates over the edge of the pool that’s closest to the fireworks. I stay back a few feet, watching from behind everyone and when Roman notices, he meets me where I’m at.

We don’t say anything, we just share a look and a moment. He smiles at me so wide the skin at the corners of his eyes crinkles. The reflection of the fireworks glisten in the whites of his eyes. It’s nearly impossible not to reach for him and kiss him in front of everyone. It’s right then that I know, this isn’t something I want to hide. I don’t know how to go about fixing that yet. I know now that I need to though. I give his hand a squeeze and he gives me three in return.

I look to Roman one more time, smiling brightly at him before pulling my hand from his and ending the moment we shared. I shove myself between Ravyn and Ares along the edge of the pool. Roman takes his place next to Beck who almost certainly noticed us both hang back but doesn’t say a word about it.

Fireworks are one of those things you seemingly never grow out of. We’re all in our twenties and still we stand there mesmerized by the colorful sparkles in the sky. When the show is over we all go back to drinking and Ares and Ravyn smoking.

We’re all scattered around the pool deck, standing around in our bathing suits. I finally feel like my cup is full. Fitting in with my friends feels effortless for once. I don’t feel like I’m forcing myself into a life I don’t fit into anymore. I still feel like I’m a different person than I was before, but I’ve found my place in old spaces with my new self.

My attention is drawn to the stunning blonde who walks through the gate to meet us on the back patio. I know immediately that it’s Katrina by the white, sheer lace dress she wears over her bathing suit. She’s the only person who would show up to a 4th of July party where we’re swimming, in a dress and heels, with full curls in her hair. I can see why Ares is so infatuated with her. However, he failed to mention that he invited her. Not that he had to, it’s his house. It’s odd, though that he wouldn’t mention her coming.

“Kat!” he exclaims, walking over to her. “You came!” he says and he has a beaming smile to match the excitement in his voice.

“Well, you asked me about twenty times to come to your house, thought I might put you out of your misery and actually do it,” she says flashing him a sarcastic smile. In a flash, her face shifts into a real, genuine smile when she turns to address the rest of us.

“Hi everyone. Thanks for having me. I brought cherry pie, made it myself!” she says proudly, holding the pie out for Ares to take. The dynamic between Katrina and Ares isn’t something I really understand. He’s head over heels for her, and she seems to just barely like him. Yet, she’s still around. At parties and now even at his own house. She chooses to be around.

“First family party, Kat, this means you’re ready to be in love with me?” Ares asks, wiggling his eyebrows at her as he turns to take the pie inside.

“In your dreams, Dawkins,” she says with a dramatic eye roll. But then I catch it, just as he turns his back to her, the corner of her mouth tips up, and pink paints her cheeks. I don’t have the time or energy to try and figure out what it means or what is going on with those two. I will myself leave it be because it’s none of my business.

All of Ares’ attention is on Katrina and Ravyn is asleep in a lounger on the deck. So, I take the opportunity to see Roman. He’s sitting at a picnic table under the house with Beck. I walk over and take the seat next to him. Beck looks between us and then stands.

“Oh! I have to go water the sidewalk,” he says, gesturing a thumb over his shoulder and going to the front of the house.Subtle.

“Thank God he wasn’t obvious,” I say with a laugh. Roman peaks over my shoulder to make sure we’re alone before planting a kiss on the top of my head.

“This is hard.” He sighs.

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