Page 67 of After the Storm

“Basically the only way to get straight men to admit who their man crushes are,” I add in. Ravyn points to me and nods. Ares’ eyebrows pinch together.

“Not me. I’m comfortable in my sexuality. Ryan Reynolds, Johnny Depp, John Legend. Easy. Might even do it if I’m not stranded,” he says with a shrug. Ravyn bursts out laughing.

“Ryan Reynolds? What a basic answer.” Ravyn laughs at him.

“Why is it that these things only ever come up when we’re all supposed to be trying to sleep.” I laugh. Maybe I’m a little impatient for everyone to fall asleep. I may or may not be itching to go down to the kitchen where I know Roman will be waiting for me like he has been since we were teenagers.

So maybe I caught on to that pattern and occasionally faked insomnia to go talk with him in the kitchen. It was the only time in my high school years that I felt like my brain was quiet enough to hear myself think.

I can remember being in high school and daydreaming about Ares’ hot older brother. That’s all it was back then, though. Daydreams and knowing it never would come of anything. We were in completely different circles. My best friend’s brother was so off the table. So I just lived in a fantasy world some nights and snuck into the kitchen to make small talk with the boy I could never have.

Fast forward some odd years and it turns out he was into me the entire time. I guess there’s a lesson in there somewhere. If one of us had spoken up, maybe I could have avoided the whole Tyler situation.

I get so lost in my thoughts that by the time I come back to reality, Ares and Ravyn are sound asleep. So I do what I do best and I sneak out of the bedroom and head straight for the kitchen.

I walk into the kitchen and in the dim light of the stove, is Roman. Immediately I feel ease settle into my whole body. My heart slows to a comfortable pace and all the tension falls away. He really is my safe space. He’s facing out the window, back turned to me. No idea that I’m standing here watching him.

“Come here often, pretty boy?” I ask, stepping behind him and sliding my arms around his abdomen. He turns his body and hugs me.

“Hm, I thought if I stayed here long enough I might see a pretty girl.” He hums, settling his chin on the top of my head.

“Yeah? What’s your plan now that you found one?” I ask, tipping my chin up looking at him. The way he looks down at me has my stomach doing somersaults.

“I’m going to ask her what her favorite sea and land animals are, duh.”

“Bet it’s something boring like a dolphin.” I roll my eyes jokingly. He pulls a hand to his chest and gasps dramatically.

“My girl would never. She likes whale sharks,” he says proudly.

“If you remember why do you always ask?” I ask.

“You told me it was your favorite question.” He shrugs like it’s just that simple. If I like something, he’ll do it. I think things are that easy with him, somehow. So easy that without my own permission, it slips out. The exact thing I was holding on to for the right time.

“I love you.” As soon as it slips out of my mouth my eyes go wide. I pull my fingertips to my mouth, hoping I’ll find that magically there is no mouth there and someone else must have said that.

If I’m shocked, he’s fucking flabbergasted. The only eyes in the world wider than mine, are his. The difference is the sunbeam smile he’s wearing.

“I didn—I was going to wait,” I blurt out. Somehow the smile gets even bigger and brighter.

“Say it again,” he demands, taking my face in his two hands, burning his eyes into me.

“I was going to wait,” I repeat. This was not the moment I had in mind. Not even close.

“Please.”

“I love you.”

“Thank fucking God. I love you.” He breathes out like he’s been holding this in much longer than I have. He brings his lips to mine. Sparks rain down on us, doves are let out of the cages, the symphony starts to play. It’s everything. I know right then, there is nothing but this for me. Nothing will ever feel like this. I think it’s been Roman since before I knew it was.

“I was so scared I was going to slip and say it too soon and scare you off.” A laugh ripples out of him. “But you slipped and said it too soon.” He’s full-on laughing at me now.

“I don’t think it was too soon. Maybe too late if anything,” I admit. He bites back a smile but it’s still apparent on his face.

“I think so too. I think we both deserved to have this sooner.” I turn my body out of his grip and push my back against the kitchen island for something to lean against.

“I’m all in on this,” I assure him. He follows me over to the island, bracketing his arms on either side of me. He doesn’t make a move or crowd my space. He just stands there and watches my face as I look at him.

“When can we tell Ares?” he asks. I can tell by the shake in his voice and the way he looks away when he asks that he’s scared to ask me. I get it though, I’ve given him every reason to be. However, I’m ready now.

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