Page 77 of After the Storm

“Opposite of breaking up?” I ask. I flip through a million possibilities in my head. All equally great and exciting as long as they’re with her. My pulse thuds faster and faster until it’s burning in my chest.

“Yeah,” she says, looking down and picking at the already chipped black nail polish on her hands. She’s nervous. I reach for her hand, squeezing it three times with my own. She takes one thick swallow before looking back up at me.

“No pressure, Auds. It’s just you and me,” I say just above a whisper. She nods.

“I’m ready to look at places for us to live together,” she says quickly, like she’s worried if she doesn’t get the words out, she might never say them. My entire body buzzes with excitement. I could cry I’m so happy. Somehow, I find it within myself to bite that feeling back long enough to check in with her, though.

“You don’t have to if you’re not ready, baby. When we get a place together, I want it to be because we’re both ready. Not because I’m ready, and you want to make me happy.” She shakes her head, her smile slowly growing.

“No. I’m sure. There’s nothing I’m more sure of than you. Every hesitation I’ve had the whole time has been what I thought other people might think of us for going too fast. I don’t care anymore what they think. A wise man once said to be selfish and make this about us. That’s what I’m doing.” I can’t bite back the smile anymore—or the tears. I know I look like a freak, smiling like an idiot, and tears streaming down my cheeks.

I don’t know what feels better. Audra finally putting what she wants first or knowing she’s as all in on this as I am. It feels like my heart is in my throat.

“I know I’ve said it before, but I’m so damn proud of you, baby,” I say, pulling her into my chest and planting a kiss on her forehead. “Every day for these past few months, you’ve picked yourself up off the ground and brushed yourself off. You had to relearn love, trust, friendship, and even yourself. You never backed down, though. On good days, you stood tall and did it with no problem. On bad days, though, you did it with tears in your eyes, but, Auds, you did it. You just keep doing it,” I say, tears still flowing. I’m not even fighting it anymore. I’ll gladly look like an idiot crying on the sidewalk of a main road if it means telling her what I know she needs to hear.

“I don’t think I had to relearn love. I don’t think I ever knew it before. I knew control, anger, obsession, maybe codependency. Never love, never this,” she says, tipping her chin up to look at me. Her eyes glassy, but a smile still sitting peacefully at each corner of her mouth. My fucking heart.

“I love you,” I mumble against her lips before kissing her. She pulls away from the kiss.

“I love you,” she says. We stay there in our own little bubble for just a couple of minutes before the reality that we’re just standing along the road I live on in front of strangers sets in.

“We should go back to the house,” I suggest. She nods.

“I think we should tell Ares as soon as we get back,” she adds. A glimmer of pride settles in my chest. She’s really come out the other side of everything. The strongest woman I know.

“We can do that.”

The walk back to my house feels like a movie scene. I feel like I might have floated the whole way there. I might have whistled and attracted birds like a fucking Disney princess.

As soon as we walk back into the gate of the pool deck, all eyes pop over to us. Of course, I’m sure everyone thinks we snuck off to go fuck somewhere. This is way better.

“Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in,” Beck says, jumping his eyebrows up and down. I roll my eyes.

“Don’t be a dick,” I grumble, knocking shoulders with him on purpose as I pass him by. Audra walks over to Ares, who is laid out on a lounge chair, and I follow behind her.

“Can we talk?” she asks, standing over him. He holds a hand up to block the sun out of his eyes and squinting at us.

“Yeah. What’s up?” he asks casually.

“Like somewhere else,” she adds. He looks at me, and I just give him a nod.

“Oh, okay. Sure,” he says, pushing himself up off the chair. The three of us walk out of the gate and under the house to the picnic table that Audra and I had sat at on the Fourth of July. Ares takes a seat on one side, and we sit directly across from him.

“What’s going on?” Ares asks, looking back and forth between the two of us.

“Well, there’s something going on, but we wanted to tell you first,” Audra leads. Ares’ face drains of all its color.

“Oh shit. You’re pregnant,” he says like it’s a fact. Most of all, he says it like it’s a horrifying fact. And holy fuck would it be.

“What?” Audra chokes out. “No! Absolutely not.” She shakes her head quickly. He lets out a loud breath of relief.

“Thank fuck,” Ares says, relaxing his shoulders.

“We’re going to start looking for places together. Like to live together.” Ares gives a slight squint, so slight I’m hoping she didn’t notice.

“Haven’t you been—” I cut him off.

“I’ve been looking at places for me. I’ve been ready to move out for a while,” I add, hoping he’ll read the fine print here. The ‘don’t tell Audra I’ve already been looking at places’ print. But he’s Ares, so he doesn’t.

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