Page 15 of After the Storm

Nothing to be sorry for. It was really none of my business. I don’t know why I butted in.

Audra

We’re friends now, remember? That means you get to butt into my business.

Roman

Wasn’t in the job description. You should really be more specific when hiring.

Audra

I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.

I set my phone down, going back to the conversation with Ares and Ravyn. As I tune back in, I realize it’s shifted to some girl I don’t know. They talk about her like they know her well. I can’t help feeling like if things hadn’t happened the way they did, I’d be a part of this conversation too.

I watch the rest of the conversation while Ravyn talks animatedly. Ares wacks her leg when she says something pointed, some inside joke I’m currently on the outside of.

Still, I laugh every time they say something funny, trying to ignore the pit forming in my stomach. It sucks to feel like things might never be the way they were and that I’ll just have to learn to be okay with that.

The thought is heavy and uncomfortable. Sure, what Ares said earlier was nice and it brought me a lot of comfort in the moment, but now I’m sitting in Ares’ bedroom feeling like a stranger.

I don’t know that I’m okay with things never going back to the way they were. It seems like everyone’s made peace with the fact that things might always be a little different, everyone except for me. I can’t make peace with it. Right now, I wouldn’t even know where to start.

* * *

The night winds downand we end up in bed, whispering about the same stupid shit we usually do. The whole night felt like a mix of moments where things felt just like they did before Tyler and moments where it felt like there’s absolutely no going back.

The moments where there is some chapter of their lives that I missed feel like a punch to the gut. Though, I have no one to blame but myself and maybe Tyler. My biggest regret in life is putting distance between me and my best friends. But this? The three of us crammed into Ares’ full sized bed, limbs tangled around each other. Ares and Ravyn bickering with one another about cold feet and keeping the other awake as I play the mediator. This feels normal.

My phone buzzes in my hand and I expect it to be Roman, but it isn’t. When I see who it is, my heart sinks to my toes. I should have been expecting it. I should have been ready, but I wasn’t. I was too wrapped up in tonight feeling normal. My eyes are wide, looking down at the screen frozen in fear as Ares and Ravyn drift quietly off to sleep.

Tyler

Who was at your house last night, Audra?

I almost do a double take at the text to see if I read it right. Why the hell does Tyler know someone was at my house last night? More importantly,howdoes he know? Panic sets in, and I wish Ares and Ravyn knew everything so I could wake them up and ask them to be up with me.

Audra

We broke up, it’s none of your business.

Tyler

I don’t like other guys being at your house. Fix it.

My heart stops. My breathing stops. The world itself might even stop spinning for a second. He shouldn’t know this. Hecan’tknow this. My mind races with every worst case scenario of how he could possibly have found out. I hate it. This should be over. This is supposed to be over.

Audra

It wasn’t a guy.

Tyler

No one likes a liar, Audra. I saw him walk you in. Weird how I never saw him come back out.

That’s when the panic really rips through me and I’m no longer capable of just lying here. I have to get up. I need to not be here, laying in my favorite place with my favorite people and letting my shitty, abusive ex ruin the last good thing I have. I need air. I need water. I need to fucking block him.

On my way out of Ares’ bedroom, I click the block button on Tyler’s contact. It should bring me some peace, I know it should. God, I want nothing more than for it to bring me peace. But it doesn’t, not even a little. Because he’s been watching me, and I don’t know for how long. I don’t know when he started, and I don’t know if he’ll ever stop.

---