Page 45 of Ordinary Secrets

Hearing that makes me feel like I’m doing something right. “Javina seems like a good friend.”

“She’s my bestest friend.” After a few steps, Arella asks, “Who’s your best friend?”

My answer comes easily. “Liz.”

“Does she always keep tabs on you?”

“Sometimes. She thinks I’ll get into trouble if she doesn’t.”

“Is she right?”

I purse my lips together, tilting my head from side to side. “Kinda.”

“What kind of trouble do you usually get into?”

“Fights, mostly. When I was in school, I’d get sent home early for fighting in class. My teachers suggested that I join after-school programs as a way to help me control my anger, or some bullshit like that.”

“Did you?”

“Yep. Theater, art, football, soccer, basketball. None of them worked.”

After-school programs work for most kids, like the ones my foundation supports. Being able to do something fun outside of their depressing homes helps them forget about their dead parents. I only wish it had worked for me.

“It sounds like your bad-boy phase started young,” Arella says.

This isn’t the first time someone’s called me a bad boy. I wouldn’t say I’m a bad person. It’s not like I purposely tried to pick fights with the other boys at school. It’s that when they didn’t stop bullying me for wearing the same three outfits, I couldn’t stop my fists from pounding into their faces.

Three outfits were all I had. Victor didn’t care enough to provide anything more. The only reason he paid for me to join all those after-school activities was because it kept me away from him.

“You seem to be more tamed now,” Arella says. It warms me a little because “tamed” seems to be something she wants.I’ll be tamed or whatever else if it means she’ll tell me if she’s ever been experimented on in a lab. “I mean, you might try tolooklike a bad boy sometimes, but I think that’s just a defense mechanism.”

“Defense mechanism?”

She narrows her eyes at me, smug. “Don’t act like you don’t know.”

“I don’t.”

“If Liz keeps tabs on you, that means the fighting didn’t stop once you got older, right? I’m guessing bars or clubs? Maybe both?”

“Right...” I don’t like where this is going.

“I’m also going to assume you have a history of drugs, drinking, and sleeping around. Maybe you still do. Either way, I think you like tolooklike a bad-boy because you think it keeps people away. You probably think that’s easier than actually letting people in, because the fewer people you get close to, the fewer people you have to lose.”

I freeze to gape at her. I’ve never thought about the reason why I keep people at a distance. In school, people were either afraid of me or pitied me, and I didn’t want to be friends with either. Even now, I see my bandmates all the time, and besides Liz, they don’t know that much about me. What Arella said has some truth to it. Letting fewer people in does mean I have fewer people to lose.

Her dress twirls around her thighs as she turns to face me. “I’m sorry if I’m wrong. I’m just saying this because of the way you talked about losing Elliott and how it made you never want to mentor another kid.”

I clear my throat and resume our walk. “So, um, anyway... Tell me about your plans for the weekend.”

She offers me an understanding smile as she returns to a steady pace at my side. “I’m going to visit my grandparents.”

Last night, I did some digging into Phillip and Roxanne Ward. Roxy’s background check came back mostly empty, which checks out because she was a stay-at-home grandma.

As for Phil, his background information is fishy as hell. A few auto shops came up as past employers, but I didn’t see a new employer every year like Arella claims happened. Either he was getting paid under the table or someone has tampered with his records. In addition, neither of her grandparents’ information revealed past addresses. It’s like someone went through and deleted as much as they could. Question is: Who and why?

“Are you staying there for the whole weekend?” I ask as we wait on a curb for a car to pass before crossing the street.

“I’ll leave Friday after work and come back Sunday evening.”

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