Page 14 of My Stupid Heart

Her bottom lip wobbled.“Am I just …” Her throat bobbed, and she licked her lips.“Am I just a frumpy, damaged, single mom?”

Where the fuck did that come from?His eyes widened and his jaw dropped.“What?No.Where the hell—”

“I love you,” she blurted out.Her hand slapped over her mouth and her eyes bugged out.“Oh, my god!That … that came flying out of my face and I didn’t mean for it …” She glanced at her wine glass sitting on the island, her hand still covering her mouth as she looked back at him.“I love you.”Her eyes squeezed shut.“Oh shit!I did it again.The wine …”

“Moll—”

“Fuck it.I love you, Ryker.I have loved you for … so, so long.And I have been trying not to say it.To just push it down, cover it up and hide it, and not say it because you obviously don’t feel the same way.But, I can’t hold it back anymore.I am so in love with you.”She swallowed and removed her hand from her mouth, her chest heaving with labored breaths.“Y-you’re in me.”She paused and scrunched her nose in a ridiculously cute way.“I mean, not likeliterallyininme.But you’re in my head.In my soul.You’re like a disease.You’re … you’re gingivitis.I’m infected with Ryker McKnight and as much as I floss, and use my electric toothbrush, I can’t seem to get rid of you.When you’re around … and even when you’re not, you’re all I think about.And now that you’re here, I can’t breathe.My heart hurts and all I want to do is touch you.To … feel you.I … I love you like all the time.Every minute of every day and I probably will for the rest of my life.And I’m sorry … I’m sorry if this is wrong and if you don’t feel the same way, but …” A tear slid down the crease of her nose.“But … I love you.”

She released a stuttered breath and blinked watery green eyes at him, a deep frown on her lips as she gauged his reaction.

His stupid heart, torn between the woman he loved and the fallen brother he loved, hammered unforgivingly against his ribcage.

Too many voices crashed around in his brain until it was nothing but an infuriating buzzing sound.But maybe that buzzing sound was what he needed, because it tuned out all the voices telling him it was a bad idea.That loving Molly O’Shea was wrong.

He crowded her until their hips crashed together, and he wrapped his hand around the back of her delicate neck, pushing her ass against the kitchen counter.“Not want you?”he growled.“I have wanted you for … ever.”

Her gaze tipped up to meet his, those sage orbs full of surprise.Her lips parted just a fraction.

“You are … you’re Bren’s girl.I …” He dropped his face into the crook of her neck.“Why is my heart telling me two things at once?That loving you is the most natural feeling I’ve ever felt in my life, but it’s also a betrayal to Bren?”

She gripped him by the face and pulled him free, so he was forced to look at her.Forced to look into the face of the woman he was madly in love with.Into the face of his best friend’s wife.“Because hearts can be really stupid.”

She pressed her forehead to his.

“Molly, I …”

“Kiss me.”

He blinked a few times and pulled his forehead away from hers.

“Kiss me and tell me that it doesn’t feel right.And if it doesn’t, then we’ll pretend it didn’t happen and never bring it up again.”

“But Bren—”

“Is dead.He’s been dead for thirteen years, Ryker.Thirteen years.We have grieved.We have shown him respect.I loved him and only him when he was alive.I never looked at another man.But he is gone.”

A thick, spikey ball formed in Ryker’s throat and the backs of his eyes burned.

“He is gone.But I’m still here.”She grabbed his free hand, the one that rested on her hipbone, and she pulled it between them, placing it over her heart.“I’m alive.You feel that?I.Am.Alive.My heart is still beating, and for a very long time, it has beat for you.And although I will never stop loving Brendan, I also know that he wouldn’t want me to be alone.That he wouldn’t want me to go the rest of my life without love.I think he would be happy to know his best friend loves me.That his best friend is protecting me and our daughter.I don’t think he’d see it as a betrayal.I think he’d see it as you honoring your vow to take care of us.To take care of me.”

Ryker had seen war.He’d been stabbed and shot, tortured and on the brink of death countless times, but nothing had ever been as painful as the battle inside him now.

“Just kiss me so we know,” she said, her blinking causing fresh tears to tumble down her cheeks.“Kiss me, Ryker.Kiss m—”

He didn’t kiss her.

He consumed her.

Tightening his hold on the back of her neck, he crushed his mouth to hers and took everything she offered, then demanded more.He devoured Molly, and she opened her lips wider for him, encouraging him.Welcoming him.He slipped his tongue inside, and she met it with hers.

At first, he thought the groan came from him, but it didn’t.It was all her, and that just spurred him on more.He moved his hand from her chest to cradle her lower back and she melted against him like snow in the rain, her hands making their way to the hem of his shirt.

They broke the kiss only long enough for her to peel the T-shirt over his head and gasp.

Nothing about the kiss felt wrong.It didn’t even feel like the betrayal he anticipated it to be.

All he felt, finally holding Molly in his arms, finally kissing her, was joy.Freedom.

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