Page 10 of Rock Pucking Bottom

"Come to join the party in getting me clean?"

My teammates just frowned. Yet another sign of how I was an outsider to everyone. They didn't get my self-deprecating humor.

Scuba stepped closer and asked, "Do you want to get clean?"

I shrugged.

As much as I wanted to say that I wanted to get clean, I wanted to feel numb again. I was too afraid to actively search for the bottle with any tasty liquid in it. But the desire to feel numb and quiet my thoughts was still there.

Carter folded his arms and gave me one of those death stares that I would normally give out to the players that were letting me down back home.

Yup, you're the fuck up now and you did it to yourself.

The least I could do was be honest with the guys. It was the only way they could trust me.

"Honestly, I still want the alcohol, but it's causing me to lose my reputation and your trust. I plan to get myself sorted and start going to some meetings. Also, sorry about last night. It wasn’t my finest moment."

That brought out smiles in everyone. So that was the right answer.

Chapter 9

Emmy

Placingthedoughnutsdownby the sad coffee urns, it was just depressing, yet there wasn't anything better to get with the budget. At least people would eat the doughnuts. Whenever I would pick up cookies, they just sat there untouched.

I looked around to see who came to today's meeting.

On the side of the door, there was a ginger Viking standing, looking in, but also seemed like he wanted to avoid AA like the plague. Which wasn't uncommon for someone that was just starting their sober journey. At least, I hoped he was going to put the work in.

Of course, I knew who it was. It was the guy that haunted my dreams for the last four years.

I never thought I would see him in person again. For a while there, I followed his career and then that tapered off. I gave up the unhealthy dream of ending up with a star hockey player.

He was probably lost, but I had to ask. "Looking for the AA meeting?"

He nodded.

I swept my arm into the room and smiled. "Well, you found it. Have some lukewarm coffee and take a seat."

His eyebrow moved up. "Why is it only lukewarm?"

"I made it hours ago. It's not the first meeting of the night."

Some sort of internal debate seemed to go on since he still refused to move from just outside the door frame. As much as I wanted to just pull him in, that wasn’t conducive to recovery. So I tried to be welcoming and let him figure things out.

"Well, we're here if you want to come in. Don't feel like you have to talk. In fact, we recommend that for your first time to sit and listen."

He forced a tight smile and turned. I watched as his glorious tight ass that was just kissed in his jeans walked out down the hallway to the exit.

Damn.

I was genuinely disappointed to see him turn away. But I couldn't force him to come inside.

I still had to finish tidying up the room and turning it into a warm, welcoming space. We still had about ten minutes before anyone else would show up.

It didn't take that long. All the regulars were there. About ten people who had been coming to this group for a while now. It was one of my favorite groups since it had a nice mix of backgrounds and people in their recovery.

Right as I was about ready to call everything to order, the hockey Viking showed back up. This time, he had two coffee carriers from Tim Hortons. He set them on the table and poured a cup of coffee. Before coming to the circle, he tugged the cap down over his eyes a little farther.

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