Page 40 of Fore-Ever Yours

And I told her everything.

“Is this really just pretend, Beth?” Desi asked, her eyes full of doubt.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s supposed to be.”

“Well, do you want it to be?”

“I don’t know.”

That’s all I could tell her because I really didn’t know. Do I want to be with Matthew?

Say I did, how would it realistically play out?

We live in different states. He travels ten out of twelve months of the year.

So either I wouldn’t see him for most of the year or travel with him, constantly on the move?

And that’s just the logistical stuff. Let’s not forget the contract, our rules, our work relationship.

Oh and I don’t know—if he even likes me?

I sigh and roll over, clutching a pillow tightly. Surely, it couldn’t work, even if we wanted it to. It’s just too complicated.

It’s better to keep it the way it is.

But then why does my heart flutter every time he smiles at me? Why have I spent the last few nights like this, finding my thoughts obsessed with him? Why do I feel this connection with him that I’ve never felt before?

I bury my face into the pillow and let out a controlled scream. This is exhausting.

I’m supposed to be focusing on my career, not on feelings that might not even be reciprocated.

My phone pings and lights up the room.

Probably Desi checking in on me for the millionth time.

I reach for my phone on the bedside table and unlock it.

Matthew

Are you okay?

Me

Yeah, I’m fine. Why?

Matthew

I can hear you tossing and turning…and was that screaming?

Oh. My. Gosh. He heard me. I knew his room was next to this one, but I thought he’d be downstairs still and I was in the clear.

Me

Yes…I guess I had a nightmare.

Matthew

Do you want to talk about it?

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