Page 69 of Claiming Genevieve

I swallow hard, staring down at the plastic strip that I slide out. If it’s positive, then that’s the end of this. Rowan and I won’t touch each other again. I’ll have his baby, as if I were working as a surrogate for any couple—except everything about this arrangement has been far less clinical than a surrogacy would ever be. Even now, as I stare down at the test, I can feel the thick stretch of his cock inside of me, see the way he looks at me every time—as if nothing can ever sate how much he wants me.

And that’s why this has to end as soon as possible,I think decisively, as I uncap the test. Rowan might look at me as if he can never get enough, but hewill, eventually. Most likely shortly after I finally gave in to him, if I ever did. And then I would have discovered what it felt like to give myself completely to someone who wants me with such a devastating intensity, only to lose it.

I quickly go about the business of taking the test, washing my hands after I set it on the counter before setting a three-minute alarm on my phone. And then I turn away, refusing to stare at it as I wait.

I’ll only drive myself crazy if I do.

I can feel the seconds ticking by. I try not to think of Rowan, of how good he makes me feel, of all the times he’s made me laugh. Of our fights, and our bickering, and our teasing. Of how it’s all going to come to an end, if the result is the one we’re supposed to want.

Of how I can finally stop fighting how I feel, if so, because Rowan will stop paying attention to me once there’s no chance of seducing me any longer. His interest will wane, and he’ll find someone else. Maybe before we’re even divorced. Maybe?—

My throat tightens, ridiculous tears threatening to bubble up, and the only thing that stops them is the sound of the timer going off. I turn, and my heart stutters in my chest as I see the result in the small window.

Pregnant.

My throat tightens, and for a moment, I feel like I might burst into tears. Why, I’m not sure exactly—I feel a mingled wave of relief and disappointment all at once, crashing into each other like two opposing waves that throw me off balance.

Relief, because we’ve accomplished what we agreed to. I’m pregnant, and the contract will be fulfilled. When it’s all over, Rowan will give me the settlement he promised, and I can decide what I want my new life to look like.

Disappointment—because Rowan will never touch me again.

I pick up the test, staring at it as I sink down to the edge of the tub. There’s no excuse for us to have sex again. No reason to flirt. No excuse for him to look at me with that hunger that I tell myself I don’t want to satisfy, and yet…

It’s good that it’s over,I tell myself, taking several long, deep breaths.And that’s exactly why. This needed to end sooner rather than later, before I could sink any deeper into what’s sprung up between us. Now, all that’s left is to make sure I have a healthy, successful pregnancy so that I can fulfill my end of the bargain, and then decide what to do with my life.

And what if things were different?

I allow myself, just for a moment, to imagine a world where that’s true. A world where Rowan could spend most of his time here, in Ireland—the way I know he really wants to. A world where he doesn’t just lust after me, but falls in love with me—and I with him. Where we’re each other’s, totally and completely, and the baby that I’m now carrying—hisbaby—we raise together.

I close my eyes, and I think of every moment he’s ever cared for me. Every moment he’s helped me, every moment he’s hovered, worried for my safety and comfort. I think of him ignoring tradition to avoid me feeling bad about not being able to dance on our wedding day. I think of the look on his face when he brought me here. I think of his arms around me on the dance floor at that pub, the way he looked at me, then, too.

He might be reckless, but I don’t believe he’s the irresponsible man any longer that others have made him out to be, or as selfish and self-absorbed as Evelyn believed. He’s made sacrifices for his family and for me. He’s protected me. He’s loved me?—

I stop short, the thought making my breath catch in my throat. But what is love, if not the way he cared for me after the accident? The way he made sure my every comfort was attended to? The way he protected me?

Is it love, or is it guilt for what happened? For the part he might have played in the accident?

I feel tears at the edges of my lashes, and I brush them away, gripping the test as I stand up. Even if I have started to fall for Rowan—even if he’s started to fall for me—our relationship has never been what I imagined for myself. What he offers is thrilling and exciting and wild, but it’s not practical. It’s not safe, no matter how hardhe’stried to keep me safe. He can’t protect me from himself.

He can’t protect me from all the ways he might break my heart.

I take a deep breath, heading downstairs. Rowan is in the dining room when I walk in, and he looks up, giving me a brief smile. “Morning,” he says simply, and my heart crashes against my ribs as I walk up next to him.

I set the test down on the table, and I see his gaze flick to it. I see the moment that the result registers with him, his eyes going wide, and he turns toward me, his hand going out to touch the flat, taut space of my belly.

I step back, automatically, putting distance between us.

“We’re done with that,” I manage as calmly as I can. “Clearly.” I gesture to the test, and I see him look at it again, his face suddenly a mixture of so many emotions that I can’t quite read what he’s really feeling. I expect that he feels the same way I do—relieved that we’ve accomplished it, that his inheritance is no longer in danger… and disappointed that he’ll no longer get to fuck me.

“I’ve fulfilled my part of the bargain,” I say quietly, and I see Rowan’s eyes snap up to mine. “All that’s left is to give you your heir… and for you to give me a divorce, when it’s time.”

His eyes widen. “Genevieve?—”

I don’t wait to hear what he’s going to say. As quickly as I walked in, I stride out of the room, leaving the test there on the table.

Leaving my husband to stare at it in silence, without me.

26

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