Page 172 of Vicious Games

I miss you all terribly.

Kira…Kira is my whole world now. I never imagined loving anyone this much. I wish she could grow up surrounded by her uncles, with laughter in her ears and safety in her heart.

Instead, it’s just me. And I feel like I’ve robbed her of a true family.

Maybe one day we’ll be together again. Maybe she’ll know all of you and be wrapped in the love she was born into.

She’s brought me hope, Misha. Hold onto it with me.

Always,

Katya

My breathing comes out ragged, the tears blurring my vision in such a way that it takes me a minute before I venture to the next letter.

Dear Misha,

Kira smiled at me today. A real smile—not gas, not sleep—but a warm, true smile that stopped time itself.

She’s only two months old, so small, but her eyes…they see everything.

She’s too young to know anything, and yet I swear she understands too much.

I haven’t slept a full night since her birth, and not just because she cries.

I lie awake with fear curled around me, preventing sleep to ever take me.

What if he finds us, Misha? What if I was wrong to come here?

But when I look at her, all of it quiets. Her breath against my skin is my anchor.

I dream of the day I’ll take her home. To you. To our family. Maybe she’ll learn our lullabies. Maybe she’ll laugh and dance in the snow like we did when we were children.

Until then, we move forward. One quiet day at a time.

Yours, always,

Katya

Two months. She left me at St. Mary’s Cathedral the very next month.

That means she only had one more month of happiness.

One more month to love me.

To be my mother.

Misha,

I think they followed me today.

I was at the supermarket getting diapers and I saw a man near the bread aisle. But he didn’t shop. He didn’t blink. He just watched me. And when I left…he was still there.

I didn’t go home.

I walked the city for hours, holding Kira against me, praying she wouldn’t stir.

We’re staying in a small room near the hospital now. It’s not much, but it’s hidden. Quiet.

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