“But then... things slowly changed. So slowly that I didn’t notice.” I wrap my arms around myself, as if I could physically hold the memories at bay. “He started... commenting on what I wore, who I talked to. He’d get angry if I spent time with friends or family.”

I see understanding dawning in their eyes, mixed withgrowing horror.

“It got worse,” I say, my voice shaking. “The put-downs, the constant criticism. Making me feel like I couldn’t do anything right. Like I was worthless without him. Before I knew it… I…”

I pause to take in a shaky breath. There’s more – so much more – but I can’t bring myself to voice the worst of it. The night it all came to a head when his emotional abuse turned physical. The terror, the pain, the overwhelming shame. It’s like trying to describe a black hole – words just don’t do justice to the crushing weight of it all.

And it is crushing. Nothing has ever been so hard as realizing in that moment I needed to walk away. That I was better off for it.

I try to tell them, to say anything, but the words lodge in my throat. Even now, after all this time, I can’t talk about it.

“Oh, Laura,” Elana breathes, rushing around the counter and pulling me into a tight hug. “I had no idea. Here we’ve been joking about your love life, and you’ve been carrying this around.”

“None of us did,” Zoe adds, her usual bubbly demeanor subdued. “Why didn’t you tell us? We could have... I don’t know, formed a protective circle around you and hissed at any man who came near.”

Despite her words, she makes me laugh. It’s little moments like this that remind me that what I did, what I had to go through every day to get to this point, was worth it.

I grip Elana back, holding tightly onto them like they might suddenly slip through my fingers. “I was embarrassed, I guess. Ashamed. I mean, I should’ve known better, right? How could I let someone treat me like that?”

“It’s not exactly something you casually bring up inconversation,” Charlotte comments from her seat. She walks up to me, putting a hand on each of my shoulders until I’m forced to stare into her overly large eyes. Through the glasses and my tears, she looks ridiculous. I also wouldn’t change anything about her.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Charlotte says firmly. “None of what he did was your fault. You hear me? If I ever meet this guy, I’ll introduce him to my favorite kitchen knife. For purely culinary purposes, of course.”

“I know that. Logically, I know that,” I say with a deep sigh. “But emotionally? It’s hard to shake that feeling, you know? And last night, with Nelan... I felt myself slipping. Wanting to just let go, to let him take care of everything. I can’t do that again. I won’t. I won’t let a guy ever have that kind of control over me again. This time I’ve got my own superhero cape, thank you very much. Even if it is a bit wrinkled and smells faintly of garlic.”

“Oh, honey,” Zoe says, hugging me tighter. “Wanting to feel safe, to let someone else shoulder some of the burden – that’s not weakness. It’s being human.”

I pull back, wiping at my eyes. “But what if I’m wrong about Nelan? What if I’m just seeing what I want to see? What if I’m just repeating the same mistakes?”

“Laura,” Charlotte says, her voice gentle but firm. “I’ve seen the way Nelan looks at you. The way he respects your skills in the kitchen, even when he’s being a grumpy ass about it. That’s not a man looking to control you. That’s a man who sees you as an equal.”

I snort, thinking about all the times we’ve argued in the kitchen. “It’s not like he wants me here,” I say bitterly. “He probably dreams of a Laura-free kitchen. Probably has a dartboard with my face on it.”

Charlotte smiles softly. “Yeah he does.Want you here, I mean. Not the dartboard thing. He looks miserable when you aren’t here, and every single time that door opens he’s practically jumping on the person, just hoping for it to be you.”

I wipe my eyes, scowling. I didn’t know that. “But he…”

“Is a grumpy bum-bum?” Elana supplies.

“A complete and utter gas cloud.”

“He thinks only with his little head.”

“The wheel is spinning but the hamster is lame.”

I laugh as the girls list expletives, their words getting more colorful as they try to avoid activating the child-locked translators. Somehow swearing has become more fun for all of us since you can’t actually use certain phrases. It even considers some normal ones, like ‘oranges,’ as highly volatile. It really makes me wonder what that means in some other language. Probably a ‘yo momma’ insult. Note to self: be careful at the fruit stand.

“I’m positive he just wants you to be happy,” Charlotte tells me. “You’ve met these guys. They hate to see females working, always wanting to take care of them. Even the freaking guests are trying to treat us like we’re the ones on holidays. I’m sure Nelan just wants to be the one to pamper you, not have you slaving away in a kitchen. He probably fantasizes about feeding you grapes while fanning you with a giant leaf.”

I snort at the visual, but reflect on their words. Once I started sharing stories of cooking with my abuela and how much I loved cooking, his grumpy attitude changed. He’d become… more accepting of me being nearby. Have the last few weeks just been some big misunderstanding?

“And let’s be real,” Zoe adds with a tentative smile, “if anyone’s going to be doing the controlling in that relationship, it’s probably you. I’ve seen you boss him around in thekitchen. You’re like a tiny, adorable dictator. With better hair.”

Despite myself, I let out a watery laugh. “I do kind of enjoy that,” I admit. “It’s nice to be the one calling the shots for once. Even if those shots are just about how finely to dice the space carrots.”

My mind flashes to last night, to all the memories I made with Nelan. There’s no way I’m going to forget that experience any time soon. I’d definitely been the bossy one. I’d taken a risk, telling him exactly what I wanted… and it had worked. No more lying around waiting for the guy to get what he wanted, just to be left wanting. This time I made sure both of us were pleased with our night alone.

“Look,” Elana says, squeezing my hand. “We’re not saying you have to jump into a relationship with Nelan. But maybe... maybe it’s okay to let yourself be open to the possibility. To take a risk. Think of it as a recipe – you’ve got all the ingredients. Now it’s just about finding the right balance.”