Page 3 of Freed Wolfsbane

“Trust me, I’m aware, McAlister.” Rhys clenches his jaw and crosses his arms as he stares me down. “I still have family I care about and can understand how badly you want to help, but you’ll just be in the way.”

I scoff at him. “So you’d just sit back and do nothing if it were your sister? Your brother? Your mom?”

“You’re damn right I would. I’d want to go after them, but I’d care more about their safety than my own ego.” Rhys shakes his head like he’s disappointed in me. That makes two of us. My chest feels like it’s been shredded by a machine gun from the weight of how badly I let Briar down. I should’ve been strong enough to resist her magic. I should’ve gotten her out of there sooner. I should’ve done a million things differently, but I didn’t. Now she’s paying the price.

I’d give anything to trade places with her, but I can’t. All of my pent-up anger and frustration and devastation boil over at Rhys as I get in his face. I shove at his shoulders, knocking him back a step. “You think I care more about my ego than the girl I’ve been in love with for as long as I can remember? The other half of my soul?” I shout at him. “You know what? You can go fuck yourself, Rhys.”

He raises a dark eyebrow at me, wordlessly asking me if I really want to do this with him right now. Rhys Gallagher is a fucking powerhouse. All of the Gallaghers, one of the original mage families of Hawthorne Grove, are—other than Rhys’s little sister Isabel. She’s one of the unlucky few mages born without any magic. Since most mages in Hawthorne Grove only care about power, she gets treated like shit by most of them, despite being a better person than the rest of them combined.

With Rhys being one of the most powerful mages I’ve ever met, I have no idea who would win if we got into a power fight. I’m pretty strong, but Rhys just might be stronger.

“You’re sure acting like it,” Rhys accuses as he steps back into my space, finally losing his patience with me. His hazel eyes are narrowed on me and burning with frustration. “Are you really willing to be the reason why we fail to save your mate?”

“I know I failed her!” I roar at him, my voice breaking on the last word. “I know it’s my fucking fault she was taken.”

Rhys’s eyes widen. His expression lights with understanding, and he deflates. He backs up a step and doesn’t make any move to retaliate. I grind my jaw, wanting him to rise to the bait. I want him to kick my ass like I deserve.

Rhys opens his mouth to respond, but Xander beats him to it as he comes to stand between the two of us. “You need to walk it off, Saint. We’re all hurting. We’re all missing Briar. We’re all beating ourselves up. You can take it out on me or Bastian or Kai, but you need to let the mage do his damn job. You’re wasting time we can’t afford to waste right now.”

It’s the moody wolf whose words finally get through to me. Xander’s expression wars between devastation and determination as he stares me down with his arms crossed over his broad chest. Unlike me, he’s putting what Briar needs above what he needs right now.

I close my eyes briefly as I realize he’s right. I’m being a selfish asshole sitting here arguing about who gets to look for Briar. It doesn’t matter who searches for her. All that matters is bringing her home safely.

Rhys has years more experience in the field. And, honestly, if the roles were reversed, I’d make the same decision, as much as it pains me to admit. Giving Xander a curt nod, I turn on my heel and storm out of the room without another word.

While I don’t know the layout of the Wyldhart mansion very well, it doesn’t take me long to find one of the many doors to their backyard. I yank open the glass door and stalk out into the cold December afternoon. Placing my hands on my head, I inhale a lungful of cool air, breathing in the scent of rainstorms and pine trees. It doesn’t help.

Without a destination in mind, I make my way to the forest at the edge of the grassy area and aimlessly walk through the dense trees for a while. When I find myself in a small clearing with a creek running through it, I wander over to it and lower myself down to the creek bed. I rest my elbows on my bent knees and put my head in my hands as I drown in my worry for Briar. I’m stuck here, doing nothing, while who knows what is happening to my little shadow.

I’ve only been wallowing for five or so minutes when I hear footsteps behind me. “Hey, man.” Bastian sits down next to me and stares at the rushing water for a long moment before turning to me. “I just wanted to check on you and make sure you’re okay. I know things got heated with the Elemental dude.”

I let out a bitter laugh as I turn to pin him with an incredulous stare. “Okay?” I rasp. “How can I possibly be okay when the Knights have our mate?”

Bastian scrubs a hand over his face and brushes his messy blond hair off his forehead. Instead of his typical mirth, his dark green eyes shine with concern. “Yeah, I guess that was a dumb question.” He’s silent for a beat before blowing out a breath. “We’re going to get her home, man, I promise.”

“How? How can you possibly promise that? We can’t even find her right now.” I clench my fists by my side, my nails digging in hard enough to draw blood. I’m the reason we can’t find her.

Bastian bumps his shoulder into mine. “We did find her. You narrowed it down from the entire world to only like eight thousand square miles in Canada. We have the best trackers in the pack and some of the best mages in the country working on it. Our guys will find her in no time, but it’s because of you we even know where to look.”

“But I should be the one looking for her,” I protest.

“Why?” he presses.

“Because I’m her mate.”

Bastian pins me with an uncharacteristically serious look. “Yeah, and as her mate, it’s your duty to put what’s good for my pretty girl over what you want. By letting Rhys, Bryce, and their teams search for her, you’re doing exactly what you should.”

I hang my head as Bastian’s words tumble around in my head. I know he’s right. I know all that matters is finding her, and I know I’m too emotionally invested in the outcome to contribute to the search. “I feel so helpless,” I whisper.

Bastian stretches his arms behind him and leans back on his hands. He looks at me briefly before staring up at the clear sky that’s much too cheerful for the situation. “We all do, Saint. It fucking sucks. I hate it, and my wolf is going ballistic demanding we go find our mate right this instant. Since we can’t charge to her rescue right now, all we can do is stay in top shape so we’re ready to take down the Knights and get Briar home.”

My lips tip up in a cruel smile as I imagine all the ways I’ll rip the Knights apart for daring to touch my mate. I’m not sure what it says about me that violence makes me feel a little better, but oh well. It’s hard to care about that, or anything really, when Briar’s gone.

Now that I’ve cooled down some, I groan. “I need to apologize to Rhys.”

Barking out a laugh, Bastian pushes to his feet and offers me a hand up. “Yeah, ya do, mage. You were kind of a dick to him.”

I take his hand and let him pull me up. I’m not surprised that he’s able to haul me up without a problem. I’m bulky for a mage, but I’m still smaller than the shifters. “Thanks for the hand up… and for checking on me.”