Page 56 of Freed Wolfsbane

He pats his lap. “Lay down on your stomach across my knees.”

My eyes widen slightly at his direction, realizing he’s planning to spank me. Heat flares in my core at the thought, and I clench my thighs to try to tame the ache growing there. I brace my elbows on the other side of the couch and lower myself until my torso is resting on his muscular legs.

Squirming a bit, I try to find somewhere comfortable, but it feels like I’m lying on granite. With a huff, I give up and stay where I am.

Malachi pulls a throw pillow from the corner and places it under my face. “Hold onto the arm of the sofa and don’t let go. Understand?”

“Yeah,” I whisper as I reach my arms up. My fingers bite into the rough fabric as I hold onto the arm like it’s my only anchor in a tumultuous storm.

He reaches under us to unbutton my jeans before pushing them and my panties down to pool at my knees. His knuckles brush the sensitive skin of my inner thighs as he does so, and I gasp at the sensation. One palm presses down between my shoulder blades, keeping me in place, while the other rubs my ass softly.

I squeak in surprise when a hard slap lands on my ass cheek, and I bite my lip to hold in the moan that wants to slip out as the pain burns through me. When he delivers another smack to the other side, my muscles tense before relaxing the smallest fraction.

As he continues to rain down blows on my increasingly sore ass, all the tension and fear and frustration slowly drain out of me. The physical pain clears my mind and makes everything feel like it’s going to be okay. I can’t worry about everything I have to do, all the mistakes I make, or being a colossal disappointment. All I can do is feel and be in the moment.

I’ve gone completely limp in his lap when Malachi gruffly asks, “Do you understand why I’m turning your little ass red?”

It takes me a second before I can focus enough to understand what he asked. I shrug and blurt, “Because I pissed you off?”

I wince because I know that was the wrong answer as soon as it leaves my mouth. While Malachi’s angry on the outside, I know that it stems from being absolutely terrified that something awful happened to me.

He brings his hand down harder than he has before, the crack of it meeting my skin echoing in the otherwise silent room. I yelp at the sharp pain radiating from my already abused butt. “Try again. And this time, don’t be a fucking smart-ass.”

I hang my head and blow out a breath. “Because I wandered off on my own and worried you.”

“Close.” Malachi’s hand stills before gently rubbing the tender skin he was just spanking. “I’m punishing you because you’re reckless and put yourself in danger, constantly. This isn’t just about today. It’s about all the times you’re so quick to sacrifice yourself. You could’ve died today and when you gave yourself up to the Knights, and there wasn’t a goddamn thing I could do about it.” His breath hitches, and he cuts off abruptly.

My chest squeezes uncomfortably at the utter devastation I can hear in his voice.

“I’m sorry,” I gasp out. He resumes smacking my ass. The pain feels like it shatters a dam inside me. Tears start trailing down my cheeks as all the fear and anguish and crushing sense of failure that I’ve been holding inside for weeks comes pouring out. My breath hitches as sobs shake my shoulders. “I’m so sorry.”

I’m not even sure who I’m apologizing to or what I’m apologizing for as I keep repeating the phrase over and over.

I don’t notice Malachi’s stopped spanking me until he lifts me up by my shoulders. He shoves my jeans further down my legs so I can straddle him, and he crushes me to his chest. Tucking my head into the crook of his shoulder, he rubs a hand soothingly up and down my back.

He buries his face in my hair and rasps, “Shh, baby girl. You’re okay. I’ve got you. You’re safe to let it all out.” Malachi keeps holding me and whispering comforting words until my trembling stops and my tears dry up.

I keep my face tucked into his neck as embarrassment flushes my face at sobbing all over him with my bare ass in the air. Opening my mouth to say something, I have to clear my throat before I can force anything out. “Sorry,” I tell him in a husky voice.

He runs his fingers through my hair, the motion almost lulling me to sleep. “None of that, baby girl. You don’t have a thing to apologize for.”

Pulling back to look at him, I raise my eyebrows skeptically. “I just cried all over your sofa, and you were pretty mad at me.”

Huffing a laugh, he cups my face and swipes his thumbs over my damp cheeks, catching any stray tears. “It’s okay to cry, Briar. You’ve been through a lot, not just in the past couple weeks but in the past several months. And I was never truly mad, just scared out of my fucking mind. One second you were right there, the next, there was no trace of you.”

Leaning into his touch for a moment, I enjoy the feel of his warm palm against my face. “It feels like I’m supposed to be strong and eager to fulfill the prophecy. But I’m not. I’m terrified. And crying just shows how weak I am.”

His eyes soften as he shakes his head. “Crying doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human. It’s healthy to let out your emotions instead of bottling them up and trying to muscle through them like you have for years.”

“It’s not like you ever cry,” I counter.

“I’ve cried a lot.” He sees the surprise and disbelief on my face and sighs. “I cried when we found you at the Knights’ facility. I cried when I found out what happened to Bastian and when we almost lost him. I cried each time one of my friends died protecting the pack. And I used to cry every time I helped Dad torture any of the pack members. The first time I had to hurt anyone like that, I cried so hard I threw up. So, yes, I’ve cried plenty in my life.”

I gape at him, surprised to learn this about my seemingly impervious mate. Malachi always seems so in control of the world around him that it’s hard to imagine him ever shedding any tears. “I didn’t know that. I’m sorry you had to experience all that. Why do you guys interrogate pack members? And why do you have to be part of it?”

He rubs small circles on my hips as he considers what to say. “I didn’t enjoy any of those experiences, but they made me the man I am today. Without them, I would be a worse brother, alpha, and mate. We only punish members of the pack who are actively doing something to put the rest of us in danger, like feeding information to the Knights or rival alphas. And I have to help because I will eventually be the one tasked with protecting the pack, and a good alpha has to be willing to do anything and everything to keep his pack safe.”

My eyes widen because I didn’t realize that being an alpha required things like torture. I guess I thought it was just getting to boss people around all day. “Do you regret any of it?”

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