Page 4 of Still Made For You

“Anything for you, suga. I’m so proud of you.” Nana started tearing up, taking a seat next to me.

“Watching you blossom these last few years has been a blessing. I used to tell Nazir how resilient you were, but to witness it in action is incredible. You’re like a phoenix rising from the ashes of life. No matter what threatened to knock you down, you bounced back better than ever.

I’m grateful to have the opportunity to witness your greatness. I pray for blessings and immeasurable happiness over your life and marriage. It’s time for you to truly start living and enjoying the life you’ve created for yourself.” I wiped the tears from my eyes. I’ve been to hell and back since I was a little girl. Now, it seemed as if life had just begun for me.

“Thank you, Nana. I love you so much, and I appreciate you being in my life to lean on when I need help. I’m happy we could move forward and rebuild our relationship.” Over the years, she’d played an intricate role in helping me raise the boys. Between her and the Graham’s, I now knew what it meant to have a village. The boys wanted for nothing, and neither did I.

“I’ll be here for however long the Lord allows me to be. Now, I want to talk to you about something that’s been on my heart.” She reached out to hold my hand. The change in her tone led me to believe this wouldn’t be a pleasant conversation.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I believe the boys should come live with me once you get married.” My body shifted to face her because I needed to make sure I heard her correctly. Surely, she must have misspoken because there’s no way she’d said what I thought she did.

“Now, before you get up in arms, hear me out. When the two of you got together, you had no one else in your corner, so naturally, the boys were a package deal. Now things have changed, and I think you should consider a new plan.

The two of you are both young and creating a life for yourself. Raising children takes a lot of work, which can become taxing on any relationship. The two of you don’t have children of your own, so I don’t believe it’s fair to place a burden so large on newlyweds. You deserve to live your life and come and go as you please. Cayden and Cartier are bigger now, so they would be fine staying here with me. Shoot, it’d be nice to have company around here, anyway.”

“Where did this come from? I’m confused.” I tried not to get upset, knowing she truly meant well, but this seemed to come from left field. It made me wonder if the boys were complaining about me.

“When you and Justice get married, things will change, as they should. There will be different expectations set for the two of you as you navigate through life together. That man is in his twenties and has more money than he knows what to do with. I’m sure he’ll want to take vacations, go on dates, and do other things that are only meant for the two of you. His feelings should be taken into consideration as well.

He’s marrying a single woman with no children, which means things should be simple for you, too. Doctor’s appointments, parent-teacher conferences, and sports games are not included in that. It’s not what he signed up for. Neither did you, if we’re being honest. You raised the boys out of obligation because you wanted to spare them from a life in the system. It’s an honorable sacrifice, but now it’s time to lean on your village,” she reasoned. I still felt unsettled by her suggestion. Cayden, Cartier, and I had only had each other for so long. The idea of us being separated felt unnatural.

“I appreciate your concern. I truly do. However, the boys are fine where they are. Justice loves them as much as I do, so I doubt he’d agree with them leaving. As you mentioned before, we have a village, which means we have a strong support system to help us raise these boys,” I argued. For a moment, I wondered if I’d been selfish concerning Justice’s needs. When he met me, he obviously knew my brothers were a major part of my life, but was I wrong to expect him to be a part of their upbringing? My brothers weren’t a burden or sacrifice to me, so I considered no one else’s feelings on the matter.

“You don’t have to make a decision now; it’s merely a suggestion. You’re about to start a new life; you deserve to do so with a clean slate.” Nana patted the back of my hand before getting up from her seat.

My mood shifted as I found myself lost in my thoughts. Did Justice regret the boys? My mind told me, no, but the overthinking part of me considered the alternative. Justice loved me, but was it wrong to ask him to take on my baggage for the rest of his life? Not once in this whole process have I considered not marrying Justice. However, when it came to my brothers, I’d choose them every time, even at the sacrifice of my own happiness. No one in this world mattered more to me than them.

Nana packed plates for us, including some desserts she wanted me to try. She could sense the change in my mood, and I didn’t bother to hide it. I wasn’t angry, but I was surprised. My brothers were a soft spot for me, and the idea of losing them crippled me.

“My intentions were not to upset you, suga. I want you to have the life you desire. You’ve carried the burdens of your family your entire life, and I’m trying to lessen the load for you. If you decide it’s not what you want, then I’ll respect it. My goal is not to step on anyone’s toes; I’m here to help in any capacity I can. I love all of you so very much, and I want the best for you.” She hugged me, and I knew her heart meant well. However, I couldn’t fathom the idea of being separated from them.

“I know, Nana. I love you, too. Your heart is in the right place, but I want them with me.” She nodded, then smiled.

“They are lucky to have you.”

“I’m the lucky one. Cayden! Cartier! Let’s go!” I yelled. We were supposed to head to the grocery store before going home. They ran through food as if they were starving. The older they got, the higher my grocery bill went increased.

“I’ll let you know about the desserts. Charity will get with you and Granny to coordinate where all the food will go and how the tables will be assembled. It’ll be December before we know it, so I want to get as much completed as possible,” I expressed.

“Don’t worry, your pretty little head about a thing. It’s all going to come together exactly the way it’s supposed to.” Her hand caressed my face.

I’m blessed to have a solid support system. I could honestly say I felt minimal anxiety about the wedding outside of me, tripping on my heels and falling in front of everyone. Everyone showed me so much support and love throughout this entire process.

“Yani, can you buy some more protein powder for my shakes in the morning?” Cayden asked. It’s crazy that I had to look up at him now. It seemed as if he’d grown overnight.

“Sure, remind me when we get to the store. I need to get more peanut butter, too, since you keep using it up,” I tittered. He’d been on a health kick to keep in shape for his sports. Wisdom stepped in as a mentor to help him get conditioned for the season.

“Yeah, we might need to get a couple of jars. Wisdom has us eating yogurt bowls, and the melted peanut butter on top is a hit.” I rolled my eyes. Both he and Cartier made a mess in my kitchen every morning trying to make those damn bowls.

“Alright, let’s get going so we can get to the store before it gets too busy.” He nodded, stepping over to give Nana a hug.

“You boys be good, ya’ hear? If you need anything, call me.”

“I got you, Nana. Love you!”

***

“I’msorry,ma’am,yourfood stamp card doesn’t have enough funds to cover your total. The balance on your card is only $12.17. If you can’t afford to pay with cash, we will need to take your cart.” The cashier shouted to the lady in front of us. She seemed to have an attitude, and it pissed me off. I understood how frustrating customer service can be, but that didn’t give them the right to treat someone less than human.

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