Page 45 of Still Made For You

After an hour, the boys and I finally headed back upstairs to rejoin the rest of the family. My mind randomly pondered on the fact that I drove his car here, so when all this was over, he’d have to take us back home.

“Why would he keep this from us? I thought he was being his normal, aloof self. I would have never predicted this.” Mrs. Faith sat in a chair, dabbing tears from her eyes. Clearly, there was a piece of information I’d missed.

“I’ve been on him about it, but you know how stubborn he is. I feel like this happened for a reason, so now he has no choice but to face this head on. The Doctors are saying it has progressed to stage three and it’s very aggressive. We were hoping the Chemo would work, but the cancer has spread to other parts of his body now. He needs all of us around him.”

I attempted to walk past them to my seat to avoid interrupting anything, but of course, that did me no good.

“Aye, did you get my drink?” My eyes were focused on his plump lips, so I lost my train of thought.

“Umm, oh. I, umm, yes, I have it.” Passing him the blue Gatorade along with the sweet and savory granola bar.

“Thank you, Beauty.” My heart almost stopped hearing that name leave his lips for the first time in what seemed like forever. I caught the knowing looks from his cousins as I sauntered back over to my seat. You would think I’d be uncomfortable after having been away from them for so long, but being around them gave me so much peace.

“Where do you live, if you don’t mind me asking? Gee mentioned you lived out of town.” Miyana asked.

“Okay, I live in Tisdale, it’s about two hours from here. It’s a small down like Jonah Hills except it’s much quieter, I guess. Plus, I don’t know anyone, so I don’t have to worry about running into familiar faces.” I explained.

“Are you on the run or something?” I giggled at her response, but my explanation did kind sound sketchy.

“No, it’s nothing like that. Growing up in a small town, you get used to everyone knowing you and all over your personal business. When we were growing up, if you got caught sneaking out, the whole neighborhood would find out about it by the time the sun went down. You couldn’t walk into a grocery store without being stopped by someone who either knows your parents or your grandparents. I enjoy the peace of no one knowing who I am so I can live in peace, if that makes sense.”

“Oh, trust me, I completely understand. I lived on the outskirts of Jonah Hills and my mother’s reputation was not the best. It followed me everywhere I went. As much as I love it here, too much has happened for me to ever want to move back. Some good memories and some not so good memories. Either way, I don’t desire to be around any of it, so I feel you.” I nodded at her revelation.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for my life and the way I was raised. I have more good memories than I do bad ones. However, after being assaulted, I no longer wanted a connection to this place. The occasional visits with my family were enough for me.

“Saya!” A voice yelled out then I saw River and Triniti bolting towards me. They yanked me out of the chair so they could hug me. Right there in the waiting room, I completely broke down. Both of them were crying too, making me sob even harder because I missed them both so much. My entire relationship with Renegade, we were practically joined at the hip. Prosper didn’t know the first thing about doing hair so he often solicited my help to get them together when they stayed with him.

Stepping back, I admired how much they’ve grown even in the few years I’ve been gone. My little babies weren’t little anymore and it felt bittersweet.

“A part of me wants to hug you and the other part of me wants to fight you. You promised you’d never leave us.” The waterworks started back up again because I carried so much guilt for walking away from them the way I did.

“I’m sorry. I know we have a lot of catching up to do and there’s a lot of things we need to talk about. Just know that I’ve never stopped loving or missing you two. Both of you are like little sisters to me.”

“Umm, no, we are your sisters. We love you so much. I knew my brother was going to get his girl back.” Triniti quipped.

“No, we aren’t getting back together. Plus, he already has a girlfriend.” If I’m being honest, the idea of him being in a relationship bothered me more than it should have. It’s unfair for me to think he would be single forever; I just never imagined a life without him in it.

“Girl, I’m gonna tell you the same thing I’ve told him, y’all are meant to be together. When the love is real, there’s no such thing as an expiration date. The universe is putting everything in place for the two of you, just wait and see.” My heart fluttered, although I pretended to be unaffected by her words. Things were good right now, but I knew Renegade and I still had some things we needed to work through. If nothing else, I hoped we’d be able to build a friendship out of this.

“Mama, look.” Saint held up an action figure I’d never seen before. Of course, I pretended to be completely enamored by the toy because if it meant something to him then it was equally as important to me.

“Omg, is this your son?” River bent down to Saint’s height with a big smile on her face.

“Hi, handsome boy. What’s your name?”

“Umm, SaintMilliams,” He acted as if he was shy when I knew good and well, he wasn’t. We still needed to work on how to say his last name, but I was proud of the progress he’d made. Saint’s speech classes were paying off and I could see the confidence in his eyes.

“It’s nice to meet you, Saint. I’m your Auntie River, and this is your Auntie Triniti.” Saint’s eyes grew as big as two saucers from her declaration.

“Can I have a hug?” He glanced over to me for confirmation that it was okay to hug her, so I gave him a nod to let him know it was okay. As soon as she hugged her, she started crying again.

“Aww, Saya, he so precious.” I’d forgotten how sensitive we were when we all got together. Renegade hated watching movies with us because we used up so much Kleenex.

Seeing her holding my son cause so many different emotions to run through me. For so long, I convinced myself he’d be fine not having a lot of family, but the truth was, I wasn’t even okay with it. My parents were there in the beginning, but once they divorced my father acted as if he no longer had children.

He moved on with his secretary and completely abandoned his original family. Sienna and I haven’t seen him since they first split. I’d tried calling him a few times, but the conversations were always few and far between. He normally gave an excuse for rushing me off the line most times. Sienna told me he behaved the same way with her.

“Aww, he stole your whole face, look at him!” River gushed. Saint ate the attention up.

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