Page 49 of Still Made For You

“No, thank you. I can get my own,” I replied, glancing over at Renegade. He must have still been upset with me because he purposely left me out. He chuckled before making his way over to the cupboards to grab me a bowl.

“Begging ass,” Gee whispered before setting a bowl in front of me.

“Your ice cream is in the fridge.” I’d already had a milkshake earlier, so I really didn’t need any ice cream, but I appreciated the sentiment. Turning towards the freezer, my eyes widened when I saw the Superman flavored ice cream sitting on the shelf.

The red, blue and yellow colors brought joy to my soul because it’s always been one of my favorites. Renegade thought the combination of flavors were weird, but they were amazing. It kind of reminded me of sherbet because of the fruity flavors, but the hint of vanilla pulled it all together. I squealed with excitement then snatched the container out of the fridge.

“Thank you!” I blurted out. The minute I took the first bite, I moaned. The taste seemed almost nostalgic as it’s been years since the last time, I’ve had it. The stores in Tisdale did not carry it, which bummed me out when I first moved there.

“You’re welcome. I grabbed it while you were taking a nap since I knew how much you used to love that nasty sh-I mean, stuff.” He stopped himself from cussing which warmed my heart. Saint picked up on things like a sponge, so I tried my best not to curse around him too often.

“Thank you. That was really sweet of you. Especially since you were mad at me earlier.” I focused my attention on my ice cream because I didn’t want to see the reaction on his face.

“I’m not mad at you, beauty. I’m trying my best to wrap my head around all of this and it’s not easy. If you only knew how I’m really feeling right now, you would understand. I’m sorry for walking out on you the way I did. Regardless of what took place, the fact remains that it’s all in the past. There’s no point in dwelling on things we can’t change. The most important thing right now is that you’re here and you’re safe.”

“You have the right to process your emotions however, you see fit. Your feelings matter and you don’t have to sweep them under the rug to protect me. Regardless of intent, I hurt you and that’s not fair. It’s okay if you need time to process your feelings. I’m not expecting you to let this go overnight. Hell, it took me a long time to work through everything I’ve dealt with these last few years.”

“I understand what you mean and you’re right to an extent. However, I went looking for you and I promised myself I’d accept whatever came from it. Besides, I don’t want to allow my ego to get in the way of my blessings.” A lump formed in my throat as I looked up at him.

“Saint, you are so sticky!” Of course, he laughed at me.

“I’m going to put him in the tub and get him cleaned up.”

“Alright, I bought him some clothes and stuff. Everything is already in his room. His bath items are in there as well.” Rather than speaking up, I grabbed Saint and hauled off to the other guest room. When I pushed the door open, I could hardly believe my eyes. He made it seem as if it were only a few items, but the bed overflowed with bags scattered all over. My jaw dropped in disbelief.

“I bought a few things for you too, but they’re in my room. I didn’t want to interrupt you while you were asleep.” I turned to face Renegade, who stood in the doorway. His tall, sexy frame took up all of the space; he had to duck down to walk into the room.

“You really didn’t need to do all of this. I-"

“You’re welcome,” He cut me off.

“Thank you,”

“I got you. I’m about to turn in for the night so I can head up to this hospital in the morning. If you need anything, let me know and I’ll take care of it.”

“How am I supposed to pay you back for all of this?” I gestured towards all of the items he’d purchased. Based on the brands, I knew this cost him a pretty penny.

“You’re not. Like I told you in the kitchen, I’m not about to mess up my blessings. Have a goodnight, Beauty. Good night, Superman!”

“Night!” Saint yelled back, waving as Renegade walked out of the door. Being in his presence overwhelmed me and gave me peace at the same time. I wasn’t sure what would happen during my stay here, but I welcomed whatever time we had together.

thirteen

“It’sabouttimeyoucalled us, heffa. I was starting to think you didn’t want to hang out with us since you kept canceling on us.” Serenity yelled out as we sat around the pool at Messiah’s house. They were having a cookout and extended an invitation to me. At first, I thought about saying no, but I was tired of sitting in the house all of the time.

“Don’t do me like that. I can be a bit of a homebody at times. It’s gotten worse since becoming a mother. On the one hand, I missed going out and having fun, then on the other hand, I want to be cuddled with me baby every second I can get.”

“Trust me, I understand where you’re coming from, but baby, momma’s gotta have a life too!” Yaya lifted her glass in the air. We were sipping on these cute pink cocktails I’d created. Mixing drinks has become a bit of a specialty since I’ve been working as a bartender.

“Well, this is me trying to do better. Sincere is with his father again this week, so I’m using this time, to enjoy myself.” Freedom mentioned he may not be coming to the cookout, which made me even more excited. The last thing I wanted was to have him in my presence while I’m trying to unwind.

It’s been three weeks since the incident at my house and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish I’d let him fuck me silly. Freedom may be a lying son of a bitch, but he also knew how to fuck. I desperately craved for some physical contact and a good orgasm or two.

“As you should. Your son has two parents so there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to live your life as well. Don’t ever feel guilty about it either.” Yaya exclaimed.

“I’m terrible with not feeling guilty. Any time I do things for myself, I feel like I’m a bad mother. It’s ridiculous.” I admitted.

“Girl, you’ll get over it after a while. The biggest problem you have is not using your village. I’ll tell you the same thing Mama E told me, you are not superhuman. You cannot do everything by yourself, and we weren’t put on this earth to go through it alone. Most of us are raising children in some capacity so you can lean on us. We’ve told you this a million times.” She fussed.

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