Page 74 of Still Made For You

“That’s not true, Free. We all were practically raised as brothers so you can’t possibly think we don’t care about you. I’m sorry I haven’t been checking on the way I should. It’s not because I don’t care though, Cuz. Tell me what you need from me because you’ve got me fucked up if you think, for one second, I’m about to let you throw your life away like this.” Messiah stepped closer to me along with Loyal and my brother. My head shook as I took a step back from them.

“I’m not looking for anyone to save me.” Pushing Messiah away I moved towards the door. They called after me, but I wasn’t trying to hear anything they had to say. The drugs had taken over, and all I wanted to do was ride the wave. When I got into the car, my vision blurred for a few seconds. I brushed it off, deciding to hurry and get out of there before they came outside.

My body started feeling woozy, and my breathing wasn’t right. It’s like I was breathing in slow motion. Sweat beads covered my forehead, although my body was cold. I tried to shake it, before reaching for a bottle of water. I’d gotten these pills from a new guy, but he seemed legit. My mind started thinking about Loyal’s words, and I wondered if he’d mixed something in the pills, he’d given me. I’ve taken these pills plenty of times and have never felt like this before.

I hadn’t even made it to the end of the driveway before my body started convulsing. My car traveled backward, but I no longer possessed control over it. I blinked a few times to regain my vision before everything faded to black.

***

“Idon’twanttobeatyou down when you’re already dealing with so much, but I can’t help but wonder where I went wrong?” Hearing my mother cry has always been a weakness of mine, and not much has changed. Waking up in a hospital bed wasn’t in my plans, but here I am.

“I don’t need you blaming yourself for a decision I made. This isn’t your fault at all; it’s mine.” After the doctor explained that the drugs in my system were synthetic, and I could have died. It put a lot of things in perspective for me because I never once considered the possibilities. I had no business buying pills off the street anyway, but the fact that it almost cost me my life was a wake-up call.

“Why did you feel as though you needed to hide this from me? You’ve done a lot of irresponsible things in life, and I’ve never looked down on you. As your mother, I want the best for you. I’m always in your corner,” she reasoned. I hated that she felt like she failed me in some way. Truthfully, she’s one of the few people I know who loves me unconditionally.

“I thought I had things under control, you know? Everything seemed to be crashing down around me, so I took the pills to take the edge off. It seemed as if my life started spiraling, and I needed an escape.”

“Oh, I see he’s finally awake. What the hell were you thinking? Do you have any idea what we had to go through to clean up this mess you’ve made for yourself? It’s like you get dumber and dumber the older you get!” My father, Omar Sr., roared the moment he walked into the room.

“Honey, I-”

“No, Faith! You are part of the reason he thinks it’s okay to act out this way. I mean, come on! First, he gets kicked out of the apartment we paid good money to put him in, then he turns around and overdoses on fake drugs. It’s like we didn’t raise him at all. You would think he comes from a broken home with parents who don’t love him. You sit here and coddle him like a baby, and look where it’s gotten us! More money wasted!”

“You don’t give a damn about me. All you care about is your image and how my actions affect you. In your eyes, I’m a fuck up and a burden to you, which is crazy because I never call you when I need help. I know you must be disappointed that I didn’t die, huh?”

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Freedom. You have been a spoiled brat since you were a little boy. You’re not about to use those sympathy tactics on me. I have worked my ass off to give you the world, and you can’t name a single time I wasn’t there for you. Your problem is that you don’t like accountability. It’s okay for you to go out and make all of these stupid decisions, but the minute something goes wrong, it’s everyone else’s fault except yours.

I knew going all the way out there would be a bad idea. You had a small-town upbringing, so you weren’t prepared for the real world. Well, I’ll tell you this: the world is a cold and cruel place. None of those people care about you or what you’ve got going on. The world will chew you up and spit you out if you’re not careful. I’m hard on you because I want you to make better decisions. In your mind, you feel like it’s our job to be the cleanup crew to your life and you’re wrong."

We have raised you the best way we know how and now it’s time for you to stand on your own two feet. It doesn’t mean we don’t love you. A part of love means telling you when you’re on the wrong track, and right now, you’re going downhill fast. You’re lucky no one else got hurt from your crash, and your cousins and brother moved your car to a safe place. I’ve had to pay to have the street camera footage erased for that time interval. Thank goodness, they were able to get to you before the authorities could be called because this could have ended badly. I’m running for Mayor of the city, and I can’t have you messing this up for our family.” I tuned out the majority of his speech because, like I said before, all he cared about was his image.

“I’ve already spoken with Doctor Newman, and he’s agreed to allow you to participate in his treatment program. It’s inpatient for four weeks, then outpatient for eight weeks.” My mother whispered next to me.

“I’m not going to a damn treatment facility; there’s nothing wrong with me! Mom, come on. You can’t let this happen; I’m not an addict!” Tears streamed down her face, and if I wasn’t so upset, I would have tried to comfort her, but I couldn’t.

“We love you so much, son, and we only want the best for you. It’s clear we haven’t been paying attention to the signs, and for that, I ask for your forgiveness. We are going to get you the help you need,” She stroked my hand, which sent me into a fit of rage. It got so bad the nurses had to come in to sedate me. There was no way I would allow them to send me away like some kind of cast away. There had to be another alternative.

nineteen

“Wow,thisisbeautiful.”I gawked at the setup before me. Onyx told me to be ready by seven without disclosing any details about our date. He’s full of surprises, so I wasn’t the least bit worried; however, this far exceeded my expectations. I told him about how much I loved painting, but I hadn’t expected anything like this.

In this room, there were two canvases with a table filled with all of the supplies we’d need to paint. In front of the canvas, I noticed a couch and wondered who would be sitting on it. To the left sat a table covered with a black cloth. On top, I saw two bouquets of flowers, a bowl of fruit, some chilled wine, and accompanied by an assortment of snacks.

“Hello, how are you two doing today?” Tyeis stepped into the room dressed in overalls with paint marks splattered all over them.

“Hey girl, what are you doing here?” I knew she was an artist, but I didn’t know much else.

“I’ll be your instructor for this evening. Let me know when you’re ready to get started. Here are some robes for the two of you. If you need a changing room, there’s one across the hall.” I peered down at the robes and then turned to get confirmation on what we were doing.

“I don’t think we’ll need the changing room. I’ve seen every part of this canvas already.” Onyx winked in my direction. I blushed under his gaze. There’s something about a man affirming your beauty that melts my heart. I wasn’t blind to the fact that Onyx has seen his fair share of women, yet he makes me feel as though I’m the prettiest woman in the world.

The stigma of dating an athlete can leave anyone feeling insecure. In the beginning, I struggled because I didn’t want to be in another situation where my heart ended up on the chopping block. Onyx handled me with so much care, making it impossible not to fall hard for him. His calm demeanor balanced out my loud, outspoken one.

“Alright, well, I’ll give you two a moment to get changed, and I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Tyeis smiled before turning to walk out of the room.

“Strip,” His deep voice rumbled all of my senses.

“W-what do you mean?” Clearly, I missed all of the clues as I stared at him in confusion.

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