Page 79 of Still Made For You

" Thank you for hearing me out and giving me that advice. I’m going to head back to my room and see if my wife is still up.” I placed a $20 bill on the table for the waitress. Reese stood up to leave as well, and I’m glad because I wasn’t going to feel comfortable leaving her here by herself in a city we weren’t familiar with.

“Same to you as well. Thank you for listening to me and trusting me. I knew from the beginning that gaining your trust wouldn’t be easy, but I’m not giving up just yet.” A part of me felt guilty for keeping her at a distance, but I had to be sure I could trust her.

“I’ll work on it. In the meantime, make sure you call your husband. I’m sure he’s not going to get a good night’s rest without talking to you. Our pride gets in the way sometimes, and it’s hard for us to admit that we need people, but we do.” Most men are raised to not show emotions or weakness so it’s hard to break those patterns. Vulnerability made you feel open, and being open meant people had the potential to hurt you.

“You don’t have to tell me twice; I already know. I used to be the same way before him. Life has a way of shaping you due to your experiences. Pain changes you and makes you feel like you can’t trust anyone in this world. That’s why I never take offense to your cold demeanor. With everything that you’ve dealt with in the last few years, you have every right to have reservations.

"My only goal is to do my job to the best of my ability and one day to gain your trust. I won’t make a bunch of promises because we know, as humans, those can be easily broken. I believe that with time, we will get to a good space. Tonight proved that. You are an incredible performer, but more than anything, you’re a great man, Rule. I would say that your wife is lucky to have you, but from the stars that I see in your eyes when you talk about her, you both are blessed.” I appreciated her kind words and I made a promise to myself to try to be more open in the future.

Once I’d walked Reese to her room, I took the elevator right up to my suite. My palms were sweating as I opened the door to our room. I’d been gone for over an hour, so I assumed that she had fallen asleep by now. I tiptoed into the room, trying my best not to make too much noise. Nayeli loved to sleep with the TV on, but she was a light sleeper as well.

“Where did you go?” She asked. By the sound of her voice, I could tell she had just woken up.

“I walked to the deli across the street,” I told her, removing my clothes before setting them on the chair in the corner of the room.

“You went by yourself?” my head turned in her direction because I wasn’t used to her asking so many questions.

“I walked to the diner by myself, but Reese showed up a little while later.” There was no reason to hide it because I had done nothing wrong. I noticed her sitting up in the bed before she turned on the lamp on the nightstand.

“So, the two of you decided to meet up there?”

“No. I needed somewhere to go to clear my head. I hadn’t expected anyone I knew to be there. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who was having a rough night.” Nayeli scoffed in response to my explanation. My purpose for coming in the room was solely to make things right with her, but her attitude told me this wouldn’t be as easy as I thought it would.

“You expect me to believe that the two of you happened to run into each other, at the same deli, in the middle of the night?” Her insinuations offended me because I’ve never done anything to disrespect her, and she knew that.

“You know I don’t like to beat around the bush, so say what’s on your mind so we can talk about it. Walking around with your ass on your shoulders isn’t going to make things better for either of us.” Her eyes bulged in surprise. She wasn’t used to me taking this tone with her, and quite frankly, neither was I. Normally, I coddled and catered to her feelings above my own, but I couldn’t do it this time.

“Are you fucking her?” Her question threw me for a loop. I barely interacted with Reese, so I don’t even understand where she got this from.

“Are you being serious right now?”

“I mean, you act as if you can’t stand her, so I find it odd that the two of you somehow ended up at the same restaurant together.” I took a deep breath in order to calm myself down. Both of us were running off emotions, and I didn’t want to make this any bigger than it already was.

“No.”

“No? That’s all you’re going to say?” She shrieked, getting out of the bed to walk over to me. I took several steps back to create some space between the two of us. I’d never put my hands on my wife, but it was clear that she was upset, and I didn’t want things to escalate.

“Are you going to talk to me like an adult, or do you just want to pick a fight?” Even with the angry glare on her face, my wife was still the finest woman I’ve ever seen in my life. I hated fighting, and she knew this. It all seemed like wasted energy to me when we could just talk things out. I was a laid-back type of person, so yelling and screaming has never been my thing.

“I am being an adult; that’s why I’m asking you to be honest with me.” Her arms were folded in front of her.

“When have I ever been dishonest to you? You know more about me than anyone else in my life. I’m constantly sharing my location with you or telling you where I am. I’ve never given you a reason to think that I was unfaithful, so your question caught me off guard. I don’t have any issues with Reese, but that doesn’t mean I’m screwing her either. And if I was dumb enough to do some shit like that, why would I bring you on tour with me when I know she’s going to be here?” I attempted to reason with her. My mind was blown that we were even having this conversation.

“Talk to me, baby. What am I doing wrong? I came up here hoping that we could talk, and this is what I walked into. What am I not giving you that makes you think that I would cheat on you?” Her lips quivered as she stared at me. Tears formed in the corner of her eyes.

Nayeli has always been my weakness, and seeing her crying broke me down. As a man, it was my job to always make sure my wife felt secure, and it was clear I dropped the ball.

“I don’t know. Everything just feels so different, and we’ve been so disconnected lately. If we’re not working, then we’re talking about work. We barely get to spend any time together, and when we do, it’s usually surrounded by other people or our kids. It feels like we are roommates more than anything.” She basically said all the things that Reese had told me earlier.

“We’re supposed to be partners; why wouldn’t you tell me how you were feeling?” I’ve prided myself on creating a safe space for Nayeli to tell me anything. If she even thought for one second that she wasn’t a priority, there’s no way she should’ve held it in this long. Granted, as Reese said, it’s my job to pay attention to things like this. I had opened the door for doubt and everything else, by not making time for her in my world. Our world.

“You’re always so busy. You never seem to have time for me anymore. At first, I felt like maybe I was being ungrateful, considering the fact that you take such good care of us, but it’s been months, and nothing has changed. I don’t want to stand in the way of you following your dreams, but I don’t want to be forgotten either.” Her revelation tore me apart. I thought having us all on tour together would equate to spending more time with one another. However, I hadn’t considered my wife’s feelings. She agreed because she wanted to support my dreams and also be there to support Reign. Now, I’m realizing my mistake in all of this.

“Come’re,” I reached my hands out for her. She hesitated for a moment before grabbing ahold of them.

“You’re my partner and my best friend. I never want you to feel as if I don’t care about you. I’m not perfect and I apologize for not realizing how this was affecting you. As my partner, I need you to keep me in line. If I’m not loving you properly and not giving you the attention that you need, tell me. A lot of times, just having you near me is enough for me, so I don’t think twice about us not going anywhere.

"I forgot that part of making our marriage work means doing those things I did to make you mine in the first place. You’re the sexiest woman I’ve met in my life, so of course, I want to show you off at all times. I’ve just gotten so distracted with my schedule that I forgot to take care of home first. I’m sorry. I wasn’t the partner you needed, and I apologize for that. Now, tell me how I can make it up to you.” She wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her face into my chest.

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