Page 88 of Still Made For You

“All right, let’s go get you married!” Dreaux followed behind me as we walked out of the door. The room that we were in was adjacent to the room we would be having the ceremony in. Charity had really done her thing with the decorations, and I knew once Ciyani saw them, she would be in love.

When I walked out to my post, Pastor Jordan greeted us and shook our hands. I’ve known Pastor Jordan for a very long time. He was the man who baptized me and also performed the eulogy for our queen, so having him be the officiant of my wedding meant a lot to me.

We spoke for a few moments, and he gave me a few instructions as far as the order of service. My palms were sweating, and I prayed that he didn’t notice how nervous I was. There were no cold feet or anything like that because I had waited for this day for a long time. However, the excitement of making Ciyani, my wife, made me anxious. I glanced behind me to see my groomsmen all lined up. My family had always been my biggest support system, so of course, this day wouldn’t be the same without them here. My brothers stood behind Dreaux. They were by far the best brothers a man could ever have.

“May we all stand as the bride makes her entrance,” Pastor instructed. My heart raced at the sound of the music playing. Just to know that the love of my life was behind those doors caused my chest to swell with pride. There wasn’t anyone on this earth that I would want to spend the rest of my days with, and I was grateful every day to have her in my life. I prayed that I could live up to the expectations of a good husband, and I knew that I would put my all into it no matter what. Ciyani deserved a life with love, care, and softness and I would be the one to provide that for her.

As much as I tried to hold it together, I lost it the moment I saw her standing there in the doorway. Words failed me as there were no appropriate ones to describe the divine creation I saw before me. It was as if a light was casting down over her head. Her smooth brown skin glowed under the lights of the sanctuary. Charity had decorated into a winter Wonderland theme with a walkway that resembled snow. I had never seen a more beautiful setting until today.

Watching my father and Ciyani walk down the aisle, all I could think about were the last four years of our lives. We were just two young people trying to figure the world out and now we were doing it together. It was an honor to be able to love somebody so incredible. Ciyani often praised me for being the person to rescue her, but as I’ve told her a thousand times, she was sent specifically for me. In my heart, I believed that my mother sent her for me because she knew that I needed someone in my life who understood me. She gave me a sense of purpose I never even knew I needed, and I’d be lost without her.

I took a couple of steps forward to meet them. I could tell by her body language that she was crying, but I expected nothing less from my baby. My father turned to whisper something in her ear before giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“Who gives this woman away?” The pastor asked.

“I do,” my father replied, taking Ciyani’s hand into his. Ciyani fit right into our family like the perfect puzzle piece. Holding my hand out, I waited for her to grab a hold of it. My father gave me one last nod before he took his seat next to Granny Lula.

Nana Shelley stood on the other side of Granny as she dabbed her face with her tissue. Since Ciyani did not have a lot of family, we decided to combine both of them together. I love the way that my family embraced Ciyani as one of us and now she also had Nazir’s family representing for her as well.

Standing before Ciyani, I wanted to kiss her right then in there. I wanted to hold her and remind her that I would always be whatever she needed me to be. Her palms were sweating, letting me know that she was nervous as well. I squeezed her hand for reassurance to let her know that she had nothing to worry about. Assisting her up the platform, the two of us stood facing each other. As Pastor began to speak, I stood there mesmerized by the gorgeous soul in front of me.

“We are gathered here today to join these two entities together as one. Marriage is sacred and should not be entered into hastily. It is a commitment under God between two people. Marriage is not easy, so it is important to make sure that you are choosing someone who will be willing to walk this life with you even when it’s hard.

"In the scripture, the Bible talks about the importance of love. Love is patient. It is kind. It is understanding and it is forgiving. It does not create chaos, for it is founded on peace. Love is not jealous, nor is it selfish. In order to have a successful marriage, you must always remember the love you feel for one another in this moment. In every relationship, there are trials that test the foundation of your union. It’s in those moments when you discover your strength. In the same way you are holding on to each other today, you will need to remain connected like this when those storms in life come. Make God the center of your relationship, and he will be the link that binds you together. I pray your love will be everlasting and full of happiness. If you put in the work, you will reap the blessings. What God has put together, let no man put asunder."

We were supposed to recite our own vows, but I had a hard time trying to put my feelings down on paper. Countless pieces of paper had been tossed to the side because it felt like the words just wouldn’t come together. I realized it was because there were just too many words that I could use to describe the way she completed me, so I decided to let it come from my heart.

“Ciyani, I’m usually the one who’s prepared for things like this, but as I sat down to prepare a speech to express the ways that you have elevated my life, I couldn’t seem to fit them all on paper. My mama used to tell me that one of these days, the love of my life would come when I at least expected it. What she didn’t tell me was that it would all start with a bloody nose.” the crowd laughed, and Ciyani dropped her head in shame.

“I had no clue that the feisty brown beauty who punched me in the face would be the person that I would be standing here with me today, but I couldn’t imagine it being any other way. Every single day, you encourage me to put my best foot forward. You motivate me to be the man that I always wanted to be because you deserve that and so much more. I’m honored that you chose me to be the person who gets to love you for a lifetime. I know every day won’t be smooth, but even on our worst days, I want you to know that I love you. No matter how hard life gets, my love for you will never waver. I’ll always be your rock and the person that you can count on in this world.

"I thank God every day for sending you to me, and I thank you for always seeing the good in me. I pray that the days to come are the best days of our lives. I’m honored to walk this life with you and hold your hand through it all. My mother used to talk about how she couldn’t wait to grow old and watch us start our own families. Although she’s not here to witness this, I know that she’s smiling up in Heaven. You’re the manifestation of everything she ever wanted for me, and I know that she’s proud.

"We both know what it’s like to lose a parent, but I believe in my heart that they brought us together. You were made for me and only me. No one else will ever be able to love you the way that I do, and I know the same is true for me. You see the parts of me that I can’t show anyone else. You make it safe for me to love you unconditionally and wholeheartedly because you give me the same love in return. Today, I stand before God, as well as our friends, and family, promising to give you a lifetime of love and happiness.

I promise to be your number one supporter, your mannequin when you want to try a new hairstyle, and your gossip buddy when Janae is busy. I promise to love you even on the days when you don’t feel your best. Now, I can’t promise that I won’t get on your nerves at times or leave clothes in the middle of the floor because I know it’s a lie. However, I promise to be a team player. There will be times when we can’t stand each other, but I’ll love you anyway. My future looks brighter because I have you by my side, and I know there’s nothing in this life better than the love you give. When we first started dating, I made a promise that you would never need anything, and that promise still remains true. Even when I no longer have breath in my body, you will always be taken care of.

"I’ll never allow you to struggle, and I’ll never intentionally hurt you. You’ll never have to worry about your place in my life because you own the keys to my heart. Today, I offer my heart to you forever, and always. I promise to protect you and keep you safe. To wipe your tears and hold you tight. To love you on your good days and your bad ones, too. I promise to encourage you and lift you up.

In front of God and our family, I promise to honor our vows forever and always. I give you my heart and everlasting love from this day forward, and as long as we both shall live. I love you, baby girl.” I heard the sound of her sniffles, and I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around her. Every word I spoke, I meant them with everything inside of me. Her days of struggling and suffering are over as long as I can help it. I passed the mic over to her and then stood back in my spot. Her right hand was in my left hand as she attempted to gather her emotions together.

“Justice, whew, I promised myself I would not cry today. Obviously, I’ve broken that promise,” the crowd laughed as Janae handed her some Kleenex to wipe her face.

“Believe it or not, I used to envision this day when we were younger. In my head, I was the princess, and you were the knight in shining armor. Ironically, it’s the role that you’ve always played in my life. You’re my hero. The person who rescued me from the darkness. I’ve never imagined that it was possible to be loved by someone the way that you love me. You motivate me to be a better person and to love people with the same passion that you give.

"I’m a better woman because of you and your family, and I thank God every day for sending you to me. You walked into my life at a time when I was hopeless, and I could see no way out. I was ready to end it all, but He sent you to save me. Every day with you has been the greatest day of my life because I know what it feels like to be loved without limitations. I know I’ll never have to walk this earth alone as long as I have you.

"You have created a safe space for me to love without worry of reciprocation. I wake up every day with a smile on my face because my best friend is next to me. The way that you love me, and my brothers is indescribable. It’s one thing for a person to love you out of obligation, but it’s another when someone chooses to give you their all. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for making me feel safe in this world. Thank you for giving me hope and allowing me to experience real love.

"You’ve taught me the true meaning of family, love, and loyalty. I promise to honor you and your role in our family. I promise to follow your lead and continue to put my trust in you. I promise to be your safety net when life becomes too overwhelming. I promise to get on your nerves with my early morning wake-up songs and Sunday morning solos.” I laughed, picturing her silly self, prancing around the house with her hairbrush. She loved waking the house up on Sundays with loud gospel music. Our Queen used to do the same to us when we were kids, so I never complained.

“Above all else, I promise to be your rock, your partner, and your best friend. I promise to be your biggest cheerleader and supporter. I promise to love you today and every day after that. You have changed my life in ways I never imagined, and I will spend the rest of my life thanking you for being my angel on earth. Today, in front of our family and friends, I give you my heart to keep in this life and the next.” Tears fell from my eyes as I stared at the only woman who would ever have my heart.

The love I carried for her far exceeded anything that I’ve ever experienced in my life, and I vowed to preserve the love we had for one another for the rest of our lives. No relationship is perfect, and that’s what makes them so special. However, I pray that our good days always outweighed the bad ones. Ciyani had experienced enough pain in her life, and now I wanted her to enjoy the rest of her days with nothing but happiness. As I stared into her eyes, I saw the promise of a great future. No matter what we went through in life, we’d face it together.

“Ciyani Dior Robinson, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, forsaking all others until till death do you part?”

“I do,” She squeezed my hand for reassurance. Pastor Jordan turned to me to ask the same questions.

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