Page 19 of The Good Girl's Guide to Being Bad

He groaned. “Just tell me it wasn’t to my brother? That would be so messed up.”

“Colton, I repeat. What the heck are you talking about?” I said.

“The paper, Sadie, the one that made you go all ninja on me,” he said, and my eyes widened. “It happened like a minute ago right before you knocked me on my ass? I just figured it had to be something really embarrassing for you to get so worked up.”

Frantically searching, I scanned the area surrounding us and came up with exactly nada. The song had changed as we’d been arguing. The couples were at it again, twirling around, filling up the dance floor, but the floor here was completely clear.Where had my list gone?Colton distracted me so thoroughly I hadn’t even remembered it. But now that I did my heart was going a mile a minute, a cold sweat breaking out on my forehead.

“Hello there, young man,” Betty said, sidling up to us and eyeing Colton from forehead to foot. That twinkle in her eye was back, her timing impeccable. I felt like she’d just saved me from either screaming in dismay or bursting out into tears. “I’m Betty, and you are?”

“Colton,” he said with a nod.

“Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Colton. Dance with me, would you?” Betty said. “It’s my birthday, so you’d best not refuse.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t dance.”

“Don’t you ‘ma’am’ me,” Betty tsked, tugging on his arm. “I’ve never been a ‘ma’am’ in my whole life, and I’m not starting now, understand? It’s Betty, just Betty. Now Colton, my friend Sadie looks like she could use a moment”—he looked to me then back at Betty in confusion—”and we have some things we need to discuss.”

“We do?” he said, but I barely heard him.

I could’ve kissed Betty for taking charge and leading him away—I’d have to thank her later—but right then, I was too distraught. Getting on my knees, I searched everywhere, behind and around chairs, in every corner, anywhere it could possibly be. When I came up empty-handed a third time, I went into the back office and curled up on the couch. No one would find me here besides Mom and Dad, and they were out there teaching.

I could finally cry in peace.

Maybe it got caught on the bottom of someone’s shoe, I mused, thinking of where my list could be at this very moment.And then maybe that person got on a plane, traveled to Ireland and finally rolled down that hill like I’d been dreaming about for all these years.A tear fell before I could stop it…and then another…and another.Maybe it fell through the floorboards never to be heard from again.For some reason, that thought was almost as depressing as the next.Maybe it just got up and walked away on its own to fulfill all the un-fulfilled dreams I’d written down.

The worst possibility, the very worst, was that maybe my “Carpe Diem List” was now in the hands of someone even more heartless than Colton Bishop. Someone who, thinking it was funny, would expose all my dashed hopes to the world. My stomach roiled, and I felt the tears fall faster this time.

At least I hadn’t written my name, I thought, grasping for a silver lining, something positive about this awful situation. If someone did find the list, I could only hope whoever found it wouldn’t know it belonged to me.

“Sadie, we should talk.”

I was at my locker, humming a Billie Eilish song while switching out my books for second period, feeling much better than I had Saturday. There’d been no unwelcome surprises over the weekend. I’d watched my social media accounts like a hawk but (thankfully) found no sign of my list online. No copies were on the walls when I got to school today which was a relief. To be honest, I was feeling pretty darn chipper.

But life loved to make you feel secure right when the sky was about to fall. I should’ve known better than to relax my guard.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, frowning as I turned to face Kyle. “Your voice sounds off.”

“Nothing,” he said. But my best friend’s brow was furrowed, eyes refusing to meet mine, and…

“Kyle, are you sweating?” I said in surprise. On someone else, it wouldn’t have been odd, but Kyle was one of those people who hardly ever sweat. There were two possible explanations: Either he ran a 5k to get here, or he was seriously stressed about something.

“Sadie, we—” He stopped, took a breath. Finally meeting my eyes, he said, “I know it might be uncomfortable, but I think we need to talk about this.”

“Talk about…” I trailed off, going pale as Kyle raised a hand. Between his fingers, he held a small folded piece of paper that I instantly recognized by the lopsided daisy on one side. I had gazed at that daisy for long minutes after I’d drawn it, wondering what I should do with my life. I’d totally freaked after losing the dang thing, and now, here the paper was in my BFF’s grasp.My Carpe Diem List.I had to clear my throat before responding. “Where’d you…I mean, that could be anyone’s. How do you know it’s mine?”

Kyle scoffed. “Seriously Sadie, I’d know your handwriting anywhere. I was your pen pal in fifth grade, remember? Every period is a smiley-face which is something only you do, my too-cute friend.”

“I just think they make the page look happier,” I muttered.

“Wow, Sadie! Just wow,” he said, eyes bright. “So, you actually wrote this. When did you write it? How could you not tell me about your list?”

Looking left then right, taking his arm, I led him past the lockers to an empty corner. It wasn’t more private, not really, but there was some cover from the crowded hallway. This topic was way too personal to broach out in the open.

“I wrote it this summer, ” I said, keeping my voice down. “And I’m absolutely mortified that you read it. I never planned to share that list with anyone—well besides Betty, who swore to me on her makeup kit she’d never tell a soul. Now, can I please have my list back?”

“But why wouldn’t you share it with me?” he frowned, keeping a firm grip on the paper. “I share everything with you.”

I gave him a look. “Everything?”

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