"Hey," I said suddenly, "I have to go. But great game, you guys."
Dare was still frowning. "Okay well, drive safely."
As if he cared, I thought.
But I didn't say anything.
With a nod, I walked as calmly as I could to my car, drove to a nice quiet place (aka my driveaway), and proceeded to cry under the cover of darkness. I didn't want to go in yet because Mom would definitely know something was wrong. The only bad part was—and maybe I was imaging things. I tended to do that after all—but because he'd been in Buttercup so often, his smell, that clean soap and evergreen scent, lingered here, too.
It made me cry even harder.
#
The next morning I got my own door before Dare could react. I was inside the car with the engine idling before he even got in. As he slid into his seat and closed his door, I started driving without saying a word. The skies chose that moment to open up, and I was grateful. It was the perfect excuse not to look at him.
"Bad morning?" Dare asked.
More like bad night, I thought. I hadn't slept well at all, the talk between Tyson and Dare playing on repeat in my head. Even practicing the cello and listening to music hadn't helped.
In answer, I shrugged.
"Okaaay," he said then drummed his fingers on his legs. "So flower, I wanted to—"
I reached over and turned on the radio. One of my favorite songs was playing, a cover ofChandelierby Vitamin String Quartet. A perfect match to my feelings about Dare. This rollercoaster we'd been on had felt like soaring and falling all at once. But after yesterday, I was done.
So done.
Dare looked at me a moment then said, "Did something happen? Are you mad about something?"
"No, I'm good," I said.
If he couldn't figure it out, I wasn't about to spell it out for him.
He muttered something under his breath, and I turned down the music.
"What was that?" I asked.
"I said, you left pretty fast the other night after the game," he said.
Yeah, not fast enough though.
"And today, you're not talking to me."
"What do you call what we're doing right now?"
Dare dropped both hands on his thighs with a slap. "I don't know, but I don't like it."
"Sorry," I said.
"Don't be sorry," he said. "Jeez flower, just tell me what's going on. I really have no idea why you're acting like this."
There was no way I could tell him the truth, that I'd been struggling with my feelings for him, that I'd finally admitted to myself that yes, I was falling for him—and if I was being honest, I'd already fallen a while ago.
"Does this have something to do with Coach?" he asked.
My eyes snapped to his but went right back to the road. It was pouring now and hard to see.
"What about my dad?" I said, squinting to make out the yellow center lines through the rain.