Page 53 of Fauxmance

"And I just had to show him you in that little yellow bathing suit you loved so much," Mom said. "Remember that?"

I nodded. Oh yes, I remembered. I'd loved those yellow polka dots, but it didn't mean I wanted my boyfriend—well, fake boyfriend—seeing that.

"Ooh! And then there's the ones from your pageant days as Little Miss Sweetheart!"

Hayden tilted his head. "You were in pageants?"

"Mom." I ignored his comment and held up a hand. "Let's take a break from the pictures.Okay?"

She smiled. "Of course, baby. Of course."

"Ah, but Maggie, we were just getting to the good part," Hayden said, and when I shot him a look, he winked.

"It's okay, Hayden," Mom said. "There's plenty more where that came from."

Oh goodness.

"Hey," Izzy said, chewing thoughtfully, "you know the food is pretty good."

I was grateful for the subject change. I actually had the incredible urge to hug her until she added, "But I could really use a red lobster right about now. How about you, Sariah?"

Sariah nodded. "Oh yeah, red lobster is so yummy."

"And hot," Veronica added.

"So hot," Vivian said.

My cheeks were flaming by the time they were done, and Hayden looked like he was barely repressing a laugh. Mom, on the other hand, looked confused. She'd never learned the code word.

"Seafood?" she said. "I mean, we could've gone that route, included some shrimp or crab on the menu, but Jasmine doesn't love it, and Cole is apparently allergic."

"The food is amazing, Mom," I said, shifting my gaze from one girl to the other, trying to tell them telepathically to drop it. "I'm sure everyone is more than satisfied."

My telepathy skills must've been rusty because they didn't get the message.

Izzy shook her head. "Nope, red lobsters are so lean and lovely. Especially when they're all dressed up. Nothing beats that."

"Do you mean in butter or something?" Mom said.

"Hmm," Veronica said, giving Hayden a not-so-discreet once-over, "I'm sure he'd look good in butter, too."

Hayden coughed a laugh, and I wanted to die.

"And you know, I bet kissing one would be off-the-charts phenomenal," Sariah put in.

Mom scrunched her nose. "Seriously girls, was there something in that punch? Because you all sound a little loopy."

"No way, aunt. We're completely sober." Izzy turned to me and lifted a brow. "What do you say, Magnolia? Is kissing a red lobster any good? Would you recommend it?"

"I don't think that's relevant," I said.

"Oh," Izzy said, "it definitely is."

Hayden nodded. "I agree."

Mom, still none the wiser, said, "You kids are so silly. Kissing lobsters, really. Who'd want to do that?"

"Guess it depends on the lobster," Izzy said.

---