Page 72 of Sweetheart

"Why not?" I asked. "They're such awesome kids."

He grinned. "Maybe she didn't like having to share me."

My scoff turned into a gasp as he pressed his nose against the side of my neck.

"Are you up for pretending?" he said quietly. "Tolet them know I'm taken."

"You could just tell them you have a girlfriend," I said shakily.

Sam's lips were still so close. As he spoke, I felt every word feather against the side of my neck. It was the sweetest kind of torture.

"I could," he said. "But this way is more fun."

So, we pretended.

And in the midst of us pretending, I had to keep reminding myself not to be too good at it. Icouldn't let Sam see how much his touch affected me. I couldn't let him see how much…heaffected me.It turned outSam was right again. I had way too much fun pretending with him. In that lobby, in front of those women, I realized I'd started to feel something very real.

For my fake boyfriend.

Which was why I decided to avoid him.

It was easy enoughover the weekend. I told himI was working a double shift at the diner—which was true—and after that, I had a whole bunch of homework—also true.On Sunday, Isaid thatwas when I practiced violin—which he accepted without question. But I did that every day. The truth was the majority of my weekend was spent trying to get my head on straight.After a lot of thought, Icame to a conclusion.

The problem wasn't Sam.

It was me.

Nothing had changed.

And yet…everything had.

After Friday, I was finally forced to admit my feelings to myself. That might not sound like a big deal—but it was.Charlotte was right. I still liked Sam. Of course, I did.Who wouldn't? But the feelings were more intense now, closer to the surface.This might sink our entire arrangement. I couldn't allow my heart to get in the way of my goals. I wouldn't.

So what if my crush never fully went away?

I could be professional. Samand I were friends. Friends who'd struck a deal, and I intended to honor it.

Because it always helped me to write things down, I retrieved a pen and wrote several lines of affirmations.

I am stronger than my feelings.

I will not be ruled by emotion.

I will conquer this and guard my heart.

Something about seeing the words made them feel more possible.Looking at the paper, I added two final lines.

Love is wonderful…in theory.

But not for me.

Closing my notebook, I headed to the bathroom.Looking my best always helped me feel my best. I wanteda refresh and tomake sure I didn't look as scattered as I felt. Luckily, as I stepped to the mirror,the girl I saw reflected backlooked completely put together. On the outside. There was nosign anything was amiss. Nohint that she was struggling with her feelings.

No indication that she was currently falling for a guy whose heart was already taken.

"I will conquer this," I said aloud. "Iwon'tbe ruled by emotion. Love is wonderful. But not for me."

With a sigh, I took out my gloss and ran it over my lips.

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