Page 16 of Rhodes to Love

I supposed if I were honest with myself, I low-key wanted him to show up… prove to me that he really meant everything he said. He had the financial means to do whatever he wanted to do, even more than I did. I figured that out before he told me where the money came from by the way he just up and moved to Nashville to be with me.

Truth was… I missed him like crazy. I missed the times we shared in Nashville before I knew what he’d done. We were getting along so well. The laughter we shared felt good for my soul, especially after we had sex for the first time and that nigga said we go together now. I missed him just holding me in his arms. When he pulled me to him outside of the diner today, I almost let go.

I couldn’t risk him hurting me again. The shit he did derailed all my plans of starting my rodeo team. I couldn’t risk doing much of anything pertaining to rodeoing because of my pregnancy. I had a male horse, and they could sense things when it came to females. I couldn’t risk hurting my unborn child.

I lay on my couch in the fetal position, letting the cushions envelope me, then pulled my throw over me. As soon as I was completely comfortable, my doorbell rang. I closed my eyes, not wanting to get up. If it was one of my brothers or parents, they all had keys. Anybody else would have to see me another time. My head was spinning slightly, and I just wanted to try to sleep it off.

When I heard the door open, I slightly rolled my eyes, but I didn’t move. They didn’t announce themselves, but I heard their footsteps. I was pretty sure it was my mother. She had lighter steps than the rest. Sure enough, when she walked around my couch, she gave me a tight smile. Cassie appeared next to her. Neither of them said a word at first. I sat up, and my mama sat next to me, pulling me down to lay on her lap.

Cassie sat at my feet and began rubbing them. She was pregnant, too, so her act of kindness to me meant even more. My mama was massaging my scalp, as she often did. Finally breaking the silence, my mama said, “King told me Rhodes showed up at the diner. How are you feeling, baby?”

“Like an idiot for two reasons.” I took a deep breath. “For allowing my guard down enough for him to deceive me and for still loving him afterward. My body, heart, and mind went completely crazy at the sight of him. I had to come home.”

“Those are all natural reactions, sis. I know you know that,” Cassie said.

“I do. However, going through it is a different thing. Rhodes buried himself in my soul. Knowing what he did to me… to my future… hurts. We would have eventually had this. I was already more open to him than what I’d ever been. I know why he did it, but still… it was messed up.”

“It was selfish, but he was definitely operating out of fear and desperation,” my mama said, confirming what I already knew. “I know what that’s like.”

I lifted my head and stared into her eyes for a moment before she looked away. She swallowed hard and slowly shook her head. “You know all the bullshit your dad and I went through. When he told me he knew what I’d done, I was at his mercy. I’d fucked up bad… just as bad as he had. Whatever he wanted me to do, I would’ve done. I was desperate and fearful that he would take y’all from me forever. I’d never seen that side of him, but I also knew that I was the one that caused it to emerge.”

I nodded. I remembered their story well. It was traumatic for me for a while. The way God brought them back together and helped them change for the better was nothing short of a miracle. My dad was gentle and somewhat of a pushover at times. He had to get aggressive to ultimately get what he wanted, and my mama had to lose some aggression to get what she wanted. They met in the middle, and God blessed their union once again.

“So what I’m saying to you, baby, is that this feeling will pass. If you truly love him, that won’t go away, unless he does more to hurt you. I don’t feel like he will. Don’t completely write him off, but I understand you being careful.”

I nodded again. “You’re right, Mama. This is my first time seeing him since I found out what he’d done. My last vision of us was me pointing a gun at him.”

I closed my eyes, and my body quaked. I’d lost it and succumbed to my anger. If I would have shot Rhodes, I would have never forgiven myself. Anger was a powerful emotion. When allowed to take control, it could become deadly. I grabbed my phone from the coffee table and read Rhodes’s last message. I hadn’t bothered to.

Thank you. Let me know the day and time of your appointment. I really want to go. I moved back btw. I’m sure you figured that out by now.

I closed my eyes after reading it, then responded.Next Thursday at nine at OB-Gyn Associates in Beaumont. Dr. Pieternelle.

“He wants to go to my next appointment. I’m going to take things slow, but I won’t say we won’t ever be back together. I know the way he feels for me is real. He’s been in love with me for a long time. Since high school when we were just friends. He accepted me putting him in the friend zone just to be in my space. He said he always knew I was the one, but he was afraid I would never see it.”

Tears were falling from Cassie’s eyes. When I grabbed her hand, she said, “Damn hormones. Our babies are going to be so close. I can’t wait to know what we’re all having. Mekayla and Jacob find out in a couple of weeks as well. I love you, sis. Whatever you need from me, I’m here. I’m sure I can say the same for everyone else as well. You are always there for everyone else. Let us be there for you.”

I gave her a tight smile. Before I could even respond, the doorbell rang again. Cassie smiled and went to the door. My mama grabbed my hand, then rubbed my belly as I leaned against her. She kissed my head as a ton of my cousins walked in. My eyebrows lifted as I looked from Milana to those gangsta ass twins.

“Get yo’ ass up, Rima!” Bali said. “Daddy Mayor said you’re pregnant! You could have waited until we were practicing. Damn!”

I chuckled as Noni grabbed my hand and pulled me from the couch. When the throw dropped to the floor, there was a chorus of awws. Maui gently rubbed my belly as she said, “You’re so cute pregnant!”

I smiled. However, when Jess, Nesha, Yendi, Tyeis, Angel, and Mya walked in, I was a little overwhelmed. My younger cousins looked up to me simply because of how close I was to Milana. To have the older ones here, with the exception of Mya and Angel, meant a lot to me. Literally every female cousin in the Henderson family was here except Shakayla and Chenetra, Uncle WJ’s daughters.

They all offered hugs and rubbed my belly. I was overwhelmed, and my house had to be as well. It had never had this many women here at once. They weren’t done pouring in though. Aunt Jen and Aunt Chrissy came in with food, and Aunt Tiff, Aunt Syn and her mother Vida, Aunt Aspen, Aunt Olivia, Aunt Kema, and Aunt Chas came in as well. The floodgates opened, though, when Aunt Cass showed up. She wasn’t really my aunt, just like Aunt Kema wasn’t, but she may as well had been.

She and my mama were best friends, and her husband, Uncle Shylou, was my dad’s best friend and business partner. They were around us a lot growing up. We saw Aunt Cass every day for that year we lived in San Antonio, not to mention, she lived with us for a little while when her and Uncle Shylou were having problems.

“Karima! You look so beautiful, baby! Congratulations!”

“Thanks, Aunt Cass. What are you doing here?”

“Your mama told me you were expecting! After I heard your aunts were going to surprise you with a small gathering today, I had to show up! You know you’re my baby.”

“You’re everybody’s baby!” Aunt Tiff yelled, causing everyone to laugh.

“Wow. Thank y’all so much.”

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