The softness had disappeared – probably thanks to my sharp tone – and was replaced by her familiar stony glare. ‘Youknowit’s difficult.’
‘Only because you make it that way. I’ll see you tomorrow.’
I dashed back to the car before she could respond, started the engine and drove away with Imogen waving frantically to her mum. God, that woman knew how to push all my buttons! She was sorry about Marley? Where on earth had that come from? And why choose now as the moment to tell me that, two years after Marley had walked away? Better late than never I suppose, but I wished she hadn’t said anything because now, as well as being frustrated with Tilly, I was thinking about Marley and how not wanting children had been the reason that relationship had ended too. Although, unlike Tilly, Marley hadn’t gone on to have a brood with someone else.
Marley had been one of the three potential matches for Barney onLove on the Farmbut, even if Amber hadn’t been in the picture, nothing would have happened between them. Lack of chemistry aside, Marley had a serious pig phobia so could never have dated a pig farmer. After the production company pulled the plug on the show before filming finished, Barney stayed in touch with two of the contestants as friends – Marley and Tayla – and Marley and I got together not long after. Everything had been going really well between us until we approached Christmas that same year. Tilly had stunned me by saying that she thought we’d been together long enough for Marley to meet Imogen but Marley seemed hesitant to commit to anything. A couple of weeks into the New Year, Marley admitted that she’d never wanted her own children – something she’d never actually mentioned to me – but had now realised that she wasn’t interested in children in her life in any capacity. Obviously, that meant no future for the pair of us, so I was back to licking my wounds and wondering whether I’d ever find what Barney and Amber had. Or Tilly and Greg, Fizz and Phoebe or the many other couples I knew who seemed to have cracked what I’d never managed – someone they loved who loved them and every part of their life in return. Even my other closest mates Tim and Levi – both of whom had never shown any interest in settling down – were getting married to partners they’d met after I’d split up with Marley.
Plenty of time for meeting someone. You’re only thirty-four. Just because everyone else seems to be tying the knot, it doesn’t mean it’ll never happen for you. All in good time. Someone will come along eventually.
I hoped. But, knowing my luck, the next woman I fell for would just see me as a friend. They all did. It seemed to be the story of my life.
5
POPPY
On Saturday morning, I’d almost finished drying my hair after my shower when I spotted a voicemail notification on my phone. I recognised the number and my heart pounded as I dialled into the message.
‘Morning, Poppy, it’s Marnie Lloyd. Nothing to worry about. Your dad’s absolutely fine but we had an incident last night. When you visit this morning, can we have a quick chat before you see him so I can tell you about it? No need to rush here. I promise it’s nothing urgent. See you later.’
The manager of The Larks had a low, gentle, soothing voice which always made me feel calm and reassured. And she always spoke the truth so if she said I didn’t need to rush in, she meant it, although I dreaded to think what the incident might have been. It could be connected to what Marnie referred to asmidnight meanderings– Dad leaving his room in the early hours and wandering along the corridors. Initially he’d said he was looking for Mum but, more recently, it was his parents he was searching for. It broke my heart thinking of Dad being confused and upset when he couldn’t find the people he loved, and each instance filled me with dread because the time-shifting further back into his memories meant the Alzheimer’s was taking a stronger hold on his brain. Time-shifting. It sounded like an almost magical term conjuring up images of time-travelling heroes who’d find the serial killers before they struck. Sadly, real-life time-shifting was far from magical. It was heartbreaking.
I resumed drying my hair, a familiar knot of anxiety building in my stomach, my mind running through other possibilities. I had a stack of quick admin tasks I’d planned to do before heading out, but I wouldn’t be able to fully concentrate on them until I knew what Marnie needed to talk to me about. I switched off the hairdryer, my hair still damp, pulled on a hoodie, grabbed my handbag and ran downstairs.
As I opened the front door, a figure lurched towards me and I leapt back with a squeal.
‘Damon!’ I clapped my hand to my pounding heart. ‘What are you doing here?’
His hand was raised, as though poised to ring the bell, and he lowered it to his side. He was wearing his usual work uniform of a navy boiler suit, fleecy jacket, boots and a khaki beanie hat over his dark hair. He was so close that I could smell the stale sweat on his clothes and coffee on his breath.
‘I’m booking in the first cuts of the year and I wanted to?—’
‘I can’t today. I’m on my way out.’ I already had my coat in my hands and shoved my arms into the sleeves to emphasise that.
‘I’ll come back later, then.’
I stepped outside but Damon, who had never been great at recognising personal space, stayed where he was on the doorstep.
‘Do you mind…?’ I asked, indicating with a nod of the head that I needed him to move. Most people would have stepped down from the doorstep to give me plenty of room, but notDamon. He shuffled a few inches, and I held my breath as I brushed past him in my attempt to close and lock the door.
‘I don’t know when I’ll be back,’ I said, managing to sidestep him.
‘This afternoon?’ he persisted, following me towards my car parked on the drive.
‘I’ve got a visitor.’ It was the truth. He didn’t need to know that my visitor was Benji the Yorkshire terrier again. ‘I’ve got to go. Sorry.’
Even though it was the perfect opportunity to tell him that I didn’t want him to return – especially since Troy Taylor who did several of the gardens in the village had confirmed that he could add me to his client list – I knew it wouldn’t be a quick conversation. Damon wasn’t going to accept a no and I really didn’t have the time or energy to get into a debate about it.
‘Are you going to see your dad? Is everything okay?’
I appreciated the concerned expression and the sympathy in Damon’s voice, but I didn’t want to get him involved. Not after last time.
‘I won’t know until I get there, but I need to go now.’ I glanced towards his van parked across the bottom of the drive, blocking my exit. ‘Can you move your van please?’
‘Of course! Do you want me to come with you?’
‘No, thank you. I just need you to move your van. I’m in a rush.’
‘Okay. But if you need anything, give me a call.’