‘Aw, Phil, I couldn’t expect you to be. You don’t live near me and you’ve got a new baby.’
‘I know, but I could have called you more.’
‘Ditto, but I always knew you were on the end of the phone if I needed you. Anyway, I’m really looking forward to seeing you. There’s a lot going on in my head at the moment and I’d love to hear your take on a few things.’
‘Sounds intriguing. See you on Saturday.’
I put the phone down feeling a lot brighter for so many things – for talking to Amber about how I’d been feeling, for new friends to meet this evening, for seeing Phil on Saturday and for feeling more like me again with plans in the future that didn’t have anything to do with any terminal illness diagnoses.
15
JOEL
The day of Barney and Amber’s wedding had arrived and I couldn’t be more ready to relax and celebrate with my friends on their special day. Well, as relaxed as a best man with a speech to make could be.
Chez and I had been like ships that passed in the night across the week. He’d still been asleep when I returned from each night shift and was gone when I rose that afternoon. I’d sent him several WhatsApp messages checking in with him but they’d all been viewed and ignored. When my brother took the grump with me, he did it big time.
In typical Chester style, the considerate start to the week had given way to mess. When I woke up on Thursday afternoon after my final night shift, I’d had to spend an hour cleaning up after him before going on a big shop because he’d eaten me out of house and home. He hadn’t come home on Thursday night and I’d spent most of yesterday at Bumblebee Barn helping Barney get ahead with his work. Amber had gone to Fennington Hall for an extra night with her family and I’d stayed at the farm for a pre-wedding meal with Barney’s family. By the time I got home, Chez was in bed where he’d still been this morning.
I hated that we hadn’t spoken for days and, as he was coming to the wedding, I didn’t want any tension between us so I made him a bacon butty for breakfast and knocked on his bedroom door.
‘It’s early! What do you want?’ he called, his voice gruff, instantly putting me on edge.
‘I’ve made you breakfast,’ I responded, trying to sound cheerful, ‘and I was hoping to talk before I leave for the wedding.’
‘So you can give me another lecture?’
Tutting, I tried to open the door but there was something jamming it. ‘What’s wrong with the door?’
‘I’ve got a chair against it.’
‘Why?’
‘To keep out unwelcome visitors.’
‘And I’m one of them?’ I asked, struggling to hide my frustration.
‘Yes!’
‘In my own home?’
There was a pause in which I hoped he was reflecting on the irony of him referring to me as anunwelcome visitor.
‘Just go to the wedding and leave me alone.’
‘Are you still coming?’
‘I was planning to. Unless you don’t want me there.’
‘Of course I want you there! What I don’t want is any hostility affecting Barney’s big day.’
‘I promise to be on my best behaviour. Now bugger off and let me sleep.’
I could stay and argue with him but he’d already dampened my spirits and I didn’t want him to bring me down further. It would also make me late so I left him to it, took the butty back downstairs and had to hope he’d stand by his promise. Mum and Dad were guests too and had flown over last night. They werepicking him up later in a hire car and I knew he was looking forward to seeing them so hopefully all would be well.
By the time I’d cleared up in the kitchen and placed my overnight bag and suit into the car boot, there was still no sign of Chez stirring, but I wasn’t going to prompt him and risk another mouthful. I left the outer porch door unlocked and messaged Mum with the hiding place for the spare key, just in case, before setting off to pick up Imogen, hoping Tilly wasn’t in a foul mood today.
Tilly was surprisingly pleasant. She issued her usual rules, of course, but wished us both a good time. Imogen chatted excitedly all the way and, once we’d checked in at Fennington Hall and dumped our bags, I took her to meet the other bridesmaids to get her hair done, returning to my room to run through my speech before getting changed.