I stayed where I was long after the guests had gone, thinking about Mum. For a woman who’d chosen not to have children because she didn’t feel any draw towards being a mother, she’d been a natural. It would have been so easy for Mum and Dad to harbour some resentment at being tied to a family life they’d never planned or wanted but they’d both wholeheartedly embraced it. I didn’t only think of them as my parents – they’d been my teachers and my friends, which made the void they’d left in my life so much deeper.
‘Can I get you anything?’
I’d been so lost in my thoughts that I hadn’t even noticed Blaine, the receptionist who’d checked me in, approaching.
I smiled up at her. ‘I’m fine, thanks. Just lost in my memories. My mum was celebrity-obsessed. She’d have loved this.’
‘My mum is too. She’s a hairdresser and she claims the celebrity magazines are for the customers but they never make it into the salon until she’s read them cover to cover.’
‘She’d have got on well with my mum. I bought her a subscription toOK!andHelloevery Christmas and every time I asked her if she’d prefer a surprise gift instead, she’d say,Don’t even think about cutting me off from my celeb fix.’
‘She sounds lovely,’ Blaine said.
‘She was.’
‘You’re very welcome to stay here and reminisce, but I wondered if you might like directions to that quieter bar I mentioned when you checked in.’
‘That sounds great. Actually, you mentioned a terrace. I might like to check that out instead. I’m assuming you can see the grounds from there.’
‘You can so you’ll be able to watch the photos being taken out the back. I’d recommend you grab a coat. Bit cold up there.’
I retrieved my coat from my room and followed the directions Blaine had given me. There were several columns on the terrace, wrapped in solar-powered fairy lights. Wooden screens and planters divided the space into sections meaning guests sitting on the metal benches, chairs and tables could remain hidden from others. At the far end of the terrace, the view over the gardens was stunning.
Amber and Barney were having their photos taken on a wooden bridge over the lake. Once that was done, they continued onto a small island where there was a pagoda. It looked to be covered in flowers so had presumably been decorated especially for the wedding. Those photos would be so beautiful.
Sudden chatter and laughter drew my attention back to just beneath me where the rest of the wedding party had exited the building, evidently required for group photos. I spotted Cole and Jules Crawford walking with Natasha and another man who must be Barney’s dad. I’d have expected Cole to keep my attention but someone else caught my eye and sent my stomach into another loop-the-loop – Joel. He and one of the ushers were walking either side of Imogen, picking her up and swinging her in the air and I was captivated watching him once more, my heart racing. It made no sense to me. In my whole life, I’d never been instantly attracted to a man like this. For me, attraction usually emerged from friendship. If we got on, had shared values and enjoyed being together, feelings of more than friendship might develop.
That’s how it had worked with Phil and that’s where I’d thought it was heading with one of my colleagues, Vince, after Phil and I split up. He’d been through a recent break-up and I genuinely thought we’d connected over a few nights of drinks after work and a couple of meals. When he invited me back to his place after the second meal, I agreed because we were in themiddle of a really interesting conversation which I didn’t want to end. Turned out that, in his mind, going back for coffee meant I wanted to jump into bed with him and he wasn’t impressed when I turned him down, accusing me of being the most boring woman he’d ever met because apparently all I did was talk about work and my mum’s health problems. I could have brushed aside theboringaccusation but in the early stages of Dad’s dementia, Bertie’s wife, Cheryl, set me up on a blind date with a colleague of hers and I thought it had gone well but the feedback filtered back via her that hehadn’t found the conversation very stimulating. Translation – he also thought I was boring. To be fair, I might have talked too much about Dad’s diagnosis but it hadn’t been the only topic of conversation. That was the last time I’d dated. If we had a proper conversation, would Joel come to the same conclusion about me?
I tried to focus on the bride and groom, but my attention was continually drawn back to Joel. All I knew about him was the brief summary Amber had given me when she told me who was in the wedding party. He was Barney’s best friend since senior school, single, and dad to the youngest bridesmaid. I knew nothing else about him except his taste in ready meals, but I wanted to find out and the only way I’d be able to do that was to stay at the evening do by myself after Phil left and talk to him. Could I do that? I wasn’t sure. Doing one scary thing today – being here – was already pretty overwhelming without throwing in a whole pile more.
By the time Phil arrived, the photos were complete, the guests had moved in for the wedding breakfast and I’d ditched my coat and made my way down to the Sycamore Snug for a drink.
‘You look amazing,’ Phil said as he kissed me on my cheek then stepped back to take in my outfit. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in this colour before. It really suits you. Reina said she’d love a photo of you. Do you mind?’
I posed for a photo which he sent and, moments later his phone rang with a FaceTime request from Reina.
‘I don’t want to see your face, Phil,’ she said in her lilting Spanish accent. ‘I want to see that beautiful girl. Poppy!Hola!’
Phil grinned as he handed me the phone.
‘Hola, Reina.’
‘Poppy, you look radiant! Give Phil the phone and give me a twirl. Yes! Stunning!’
I thanked Reina and sat back down. ‘Is Eliana asleep?’
‘She is but if you are quiet, I can show you. Ssh!’
Moments later, their gorgeous pudgy baby appeared on the screen, lying in her cot, her hand curled around a comforter.
‘She’s so beautiful,’ I said when Reina announced she’d closed the nursery door and we could talk again. She thanked me and gave us an update on her day and then told us to enjoy our evening, blowing a kiss to each of us before disconnecting.
The smile on Phil’s face and the sparkle in his eyes warmed my heart.
‘You chose well second time around,’ I said, smiling at him.
‘I did. But I chose well first time around too. We just weren’t meant to be forever but I like that we stayed good friends, that you’re still part of my family and that my new family adore you.’