Page 71 of A Forever Home at Honey Bee Croft

Joel’s dad answered. ‘Yes, and we’ll be quite insistent about it but there’s no point raising it until we think he’s going to be more receptive to the idea. You know what he’s like for digging his heels in.’

When the call ended, Joel released a heavy sigh of relief. I asked if he wanted to talk some more about his brother but he declined, saying he longed for an evening without worrying about Chez.

It seemed a suitable time for food so we broke off to heat up the takeaway and had a lighter conversation while we ate about what it had been like for Joel growing up in the area. The more he spoke about it, the more drawn I felt towards it. It wasn’t just that the surroundings were beautiful – Winchcote and Saltersbeck Farm were too. It was the people I’d met and the freshness of it – a place that held no connection to the sadness of the past seven years where I could truly relax. As he spoke about spending time at Bumblebee Barn, I pictured that field Amberhad shown me and once more imagined being the beekeeper, the sights, sounds and smells so strong, so engaging.

After eating, we returned to the lounge and resumed our conversation about Tilly. Joel shared his current work situation and how he hoped he’d finally get confirmation tomorrow as to whether or not his job was at risk.

‘You have so much going on right now,’ I said, stroking my hand lightly down his arm. ‘I bet you’ll be glad to see the back of this month.’

‘Yes and no. I’ve had plenty of crap thrown at me but there’s been a shedload of good stuff too. My best mate got married yesterday and Amber’s amazing. I had a proud dad moment seeing my daughter as their bridesmaid and again with that dance routine. My parents are over for a week and it’s always good to see them. And, unexpected bonus, I met someone who should never have been accused of being boring because, to me, she’s fascinating, inspiring, caring, intelligent and, even though I’d only spent one evening in her company, I felt like part of me was missing when she wasn’t by my side today.’

Nobody had ever said anything quite so romantic to me and I felt myself welling up – not just because the sentiment was so beautiful but because I felt the same way too. There was something about this place, the people and particularly the man right next to me that was so familiar to me, as though it had always been part of my life but just out of reach until now. It wasn’t a dream. This was reality and I wanted to savour every single moment of it.

I leaned over and kissed Joel, my heart racing as the kiss became increasingly passionate.Do one thing every day that scares you.I slowly pulled back, rolled off the sofa, took Joel’s hand in mine and gave it a gentle tug. ‘I missed you too and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you or about lastnight when we got interrupted just as things were getting really interesting…’

‘You’re sure?’

‘Never been more so.’

We lay side by side in the bed a little later, smiling contentedly at each other. I was glad we’d been interrupted last night as I couldn’t have imagined anything better than tonight, without any alcohol inside us but a day of deepening feelings creating an even stronger connection.

‘I wish you didn’t have to leave tomorrow,’ Joel said, stroking my hair back from my face.

‘I wish Ineverhad to go back. I love it here.’

‘Then stay.’

‘If only I could. I’d buy this place from Mary in a heartbeat.’

‘What’s stopping you?’

‘Dad. Even though he has no idea who I am, I need to visit him for my own peace of mind. I’d never forgive myself if I stopped. I’ve been thinking about whether he could move to a different care home, but I’m worried it might be too stressful for him.’

‘But if it wasn’t too stressful for him, you’d consider it?’

‘I would, which is not what I was expecting when I came here. I was only meant to be recharging my batteries, and I never expected to fall in love with this place and want to stay. Selling Dove Cottage – where I live now – is something I’ve only just accepted that I need to do. I mentioned it to Phil and said I was thinking about buying somewhere near Dad’s care home, but he suggested I hold off on buying because that would tie me to the area when the sad truth is my dad won’t be around much longer.’

My voice caught on the last few words and I swallowed hard.

‘That must be so hard to deal with,’ Joel said, gently.

‘It is. They say that when a loved one has dementia, you lose them twice – the day they actually pass away and the day they lose their connection to you.’ I closed my eyes for a moment, not wanting to shroud our special evening with sadness. When I opened them again, Joel was looking at me, his eyes full of concern.

‘I’m all right,’ I said, stroking my hand across his cheek. ‘Just a lot going on up here right now.’ I tapped the side of my head. ‘Coming here was meant to clear my head, not add more to it, but they’re good thoughts. I feel as though my future’s here, but my present has to be near Dad and I’m a little scared that the future I want might slip away from me because I can’t commit to moving here. Not yet.’

‘Then we need to find a way for your present and your future to work together so you can have both.’

‘I’d like both,’ I whispered, snuggling closer to him.

‘I’d like you to have both.’

28

JOEL

I groaned as my phone alarm sounded at 4.45a.m. the next morning, allowing me time to get home and changed into my work gear before my shift started at six.

‘I wish you didn’t have to go,’ Poppy murmured, her hand seeking mine.

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