Page 9 of A Forever Home at Honey Bee Croft

‘Why are they getting married in March anyway?’ Tilly asked. ‘Imogen will freeze in a short-sleeved dress.’

I took it as a rhetorical question and ignored it. The date Barney and Amber had chosen for their wedding was none of Tilly’s business and the weather comment was a daft one when the UK weather was so unpredictable that March could be warm and August freezing.

Barney, my best mate since senior school, ran Bumblebee Barn. The farm had been in his family for four generations and was a mixed operation with pigs, two breeds of sheep, goats, horses and hens as well as several crops. We’d both been unlucky in love throughout our twenties, although my problem was that I never seemed to meet anyone and his had been that he met lots of women – just not ones suited to a farming lifestyle. That all changed three years ago when his younger sister, Fizz, convinced him to try something radical and apply to a new reality TV show calledLove on the Farm, aimed at helping single farmers find love.He’d been gobsmacked when he was selected as one of the featured farmers and, while he wasn’t attracted to any of the three potential matches, he found love with the show’s producer, Amber.

Amber had worked for many years as the producer on the television showCountryside Calendar– a Sunday-night staple which focused on living and working in the countryside across the different seasons. After they got together, Amber sold her London flat and moved in with Barney but spent a lot of time travelling to filmCountryside Calendaralongside her pet project,The Wildlife Rescuers.Showcasing a year in the life ofseveral wildlife rescue centres, it mainly focused on Hedgehog Hollow Wildlife Rescue Centre, which one of Amber’s best friends Samantha owned and where Fizz worked.

Although Amber loved her job, she found it increasingly difficult to be away from Barney, the farm and the friends she’d made in the area, so she decided to step away from TV production, filming her final ever episode ofCountryside Calendarin Suffolk last summer.At the point she handed in her notice, Barney took her out for a meal, telling her it was to celebrate the end of her time as show producer but it was really so he could ask her to marry him.

They made such a great couple and I’d never seen my friend so happy. I got on brilliantly with Amber and felt just as welcome at the farm with her there as I’d always been, so I couldn’t be more thrilled for them. But their wedding – and the five which would follow – did make me reflect on my own situation more than I cared to, with a tinge of sadness that it wasn’t me. Would it ever be?

‘Ready!’ Imogen appeared and gave us a twirl in a pretty yellow and white dress which, despite being accompanied by thick white tights as instructed, struck me as more suitable for the height of summer than the first Saturday in March. Pretty ironic considering the comments Tilly had made about Imogen freezing in her bridesmaid dress at this time of year.

‘Have you been to the toilet?’ Tilly asked her.

Imogen shook her head. ‘And I can’t fit Cloud in my case.’

Cloud was Imogen’s favourite soft toy – a round fluffy sheep – which she never slept without.

‘Okay. You go to the toilet and I’ll sort out Cloud.’

‘Don’t squash him!’

‘I’ll leave the zip slightly open so he can still breathe,’ Tilly said, giving Imogen a reassuring smile. She might be hostile and snappy around me but there was no denying that Tilly was adevoted, caring mum. Just a shame she couldn’t seem to see how much it hurt our daughter to have such limited contact with me. I had no comprehensive response to Imogen’s frequently asked question –Why can’t I see you more often?It was especially difficult when there was already a precedent set in their family –Leighton spends half the week and every other weekend with his mum. Why don’t we do that?The answer I wanted to give –Because your mum is being awkward– would land me in deep water and I’d sworn I’d never badmouth Tilly in front of Imogen, so I simply hugged her, wiped her tears and assured her that, just because I didn’t get to see her, it didn’t mean I wasn’t thinking about her and missing her every single day.

As Imogen ran out of the room, Tilly pushed herself up from her chair and my breath caught. I recognised that gait. She couldn’t be pregnant again, surely? But her cardigan slipped to one side revealing a distinct baby bump. It seemed that the woman who didn’t want children was pregnant with her fourth baby.

She must have noticed me staring as her cheeks flushed. ‘I was going to tell you when you dropped her back.’ Her voice was soft with a hint of an apology.

‘Congratulations,’ I said, my voice coming out a little husky. ‘When’s it due?’

‘They’redue on 20 July.’

‘They? You’re having twins?’ Being halfway through a pregnancy with twins would explain why she looked so exhausted. She’d struggled with fatigue throughout the first and second trimester of all her pregnancies.

‘Twin boys,’ she said as she shuffled out of the room, clearly not interested in further conversation.

‘Congratulations, Greg,’ I said.

He grinned but he didn’t look in my direction. I could imagine the words he wanted to say but had just about enoughintellect to keep inside –Look at me with my growing family. Bet you wish you could trade places.

Thing is, I didn’t wish that. Well, not completely. I didn’t want to be with Tilly anymore and hadn’t done for a long time. The way she’d ended things and the disdain with which she’d treated me over the years had erased any residual feelings of love for her. I would always care for her as the mother of my child, but I didn’t particularly like her these days. And I wasn’t as bothered about having a big family like I’d once planned. Imogen was an amazing little girl and I was so lucky to have her. Yes, it would be great to meet someone and have more children but, if Imogen was the only child I fathered, so be it. What Ididenvy about Greg’s life – and the part I wished I could change – was all the time he got to spend withmydaughter when I barely saw her.

My phone buzzed, taking my attention away from my moment of envy and giving me the ideal excuse to step out of the uncomfortable atmosphere and into the hall. I smiled at the WhatsApp message from Fizz.

From Fizz

Hi you, Darcie wants to know if Imogen can come back to ours for cake and a milkshake after the dress fittings. I said I’d ask but warned her you might have other plans. I know your time together is precious

Even though Imogen loved spending time with me, I couldn’t compete with an offer like that. The cake and milkshakes would be tempting but the biggest draw was time with thirteen-year-old Darcie. Despite the five-year age gap, the pair of them adored each other and were always begging to spend more time together. Darcie was the adopted daughter of Phoebe – Fizz’s fiancée and Barney’s future sister-in-law. Fizz had proposed toPhoebe at the start of the year on Phoebe’s birthday. They’d been a couple for four years at that point and, although they hadn’t wanted to wait for long to tie the knot, they’d been concerned about stealing Barney and Amber’s thunder and said they’d wait until next year to get married. Barney and Amber had told them not to be so daft so they’d gone for May meaning the first two weddings this year were for the Kinsella siblings. After that it was my cousin’s wedding in August, my mate Tim’s in September, Zara’s in October and my mate Levi’s next May. If I did lose my job in the restructure, I’d have to hope I found another one quickly because six weddings and several more stag dos were going to set me back a small fortune.

To Fizz

I’m going to the farm while you’re getting sorted but we’ve no specific plans after that

From Fizz

Amber’s coming back to ours too but Darcie’s going out with friends mid-afternoon so how about Amber brings her back to the farm then?

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