‘He doesn’t have a choice.’
Her voice cracked and tears pooled in her eyes. Despite the hell she’d put me through, I wasn’t heartless. ‘Are you two okay?’
‘Bet it’d make you really happy if I said no.’
I’d had enough of her sarcastic quips and suggestions that I wanted their relationship to fall apart. ‘Why do you say things like that? Of course I wouldn’t be happy! What sort of person do you think I am?’
She shook her head and sighed. ‘Sorry. I can’t seem to help myself. I know you’re not like that. I’m just…’ She sighed again. ‘Forget it.’ She started to push herself up.
‘Cup of tea?’ I asked. ‘And a chance to offload?’
She sank back down, a tear escaping down her cheek. ‘Yes, please, to both.’
‘Well, that was certainly a turn-up for the books,’ I muttered as I waved Tilly off and closed the front door an hour later.
We still had a lot more to talk about but we’d managed to get a lot out in the open. I was sorry to hear that things were rough right now between her and Greg – didn’t like the bloke but Tilly clearly loved him so I hoped they could get past this quickly – but I was so relieved to hear that she’d woken up to the impact of the move on Imogen. She’d been devastated by Imogen’s emotional reaction to the move. Ezra and Delphine had understandably been upset at seeing their big sister so distraught and they’d had several fraught days.
Tilly admitted that what I’d said about her looking at the move with rose-tinted glasses had been an eye-opener too.
‘Greg had painted a vision of us living the dream in beautiful surroundings and, after what you said, I wondered if he’d even considered how we’d manage routine maintenance or things going wrong. I put a few scenarios to him – a blocked toilet, a leak in a glamping pod, a herd of Highland cows getting through a broken fence – and do you know what his answer was to all of them?I’d get a bloke in to sort it.And at that moment I realised we were living in cloud cuckoo land. As if we could afforda blokeevery time something went wrong. So not only is Scotland off the cards – running a campsite anywhere is.’
‘Obviously I’m relieved, but I’m sorry your dream’s over. What’ll you do instead?’
‘Don’t know and, right now, I’m too exhausted to care. I thought being pregnant with one baby was bad, but it was a walk in the park compared to twins.’
It was too good an opportunity to miss, so I mooted the idea of Imogen staying with me more as Tilly progressed with her pregnancy, which was met with a tut and a roll of the eyes.
‘And how are you going to manage that when you work shifts?’
‘I won’t be working shifts. I’m taking redundancy.’
I half-expected her to challenge me on how I was going to keep up my maintenance payments, but she surprised me by saying she was sorry to hear that and asking if I was all right. When she asked what I was going to do instead, I told her I was taking some time out to consider my options. I didn’t mention anything about the bistro. It wasn’t right to say anything to Tilly before I’d even spoken to Barney and Amber and, even if they approved, there were so many hurdles to jump over that it might not even happen – although I’d been doing a lot of manifesting about it.
‘That’s how I can help more with Imogen,’ I said. ‘I know it’s a struggle for you to let go, but it’s hard for me to be without her and it’s tough on her too. What Imogen wants has to be our priority and I know she wants to spend more time with me because she constantly tells me that.’
Tilly didn’t respond and I wondered if she somehow saw Imogen wanting to spend more time with me as a rejection of her when it was far from that.
‘I’m not suggesting she leaves home and moves in with me permanently,’ I said. ‘But you’ve already admitted how exhausted you are and it’s only going to get harder. And that’s before the twins even arrive. Let me help by having Imogen more so that you can focus on them and, when you’re settled in a routine with them and I know what my future career looks like, we can talk about a more balanced custody arrangement.’
‘I’ll think about it,’ she said, an edge to her voice. ‘I need to go before they send out a search party for me.’
I followed her to the door and it struck me that, as I’d been transparent about my work situation, there was something else I needed to be honest about.
‘You heard that first FaceTime with Imogen so you’ll have heard me mention Poppy,’ I blurted out, feeling nervous about her reaction. ‘I met her at the wedding and we’ve been seeing each other.’
Tilly completely threw me by smiling. ‘I asked Imogen who Poppy was and she told me how you met at the wedding. She said you were just friends, but she thought you should be more. I’m pleased for you, Joel. I told you before that I only ever wanted you to be happy.’
‘You’re not angry that Imogen has met her already?’
‘How could I be? It’s not like you planned it. Sounds like destiny to me. I hope it works out for you both. I really do.’
She set off along the path, then turned. ‘I’m glad you’re leaving that factory. It was never right for you. I think you should do something with your cooking. I always thought you had a gift for it.’
And then she was gone, leaving me standing in the doorway, mouth open, wondering what had just happened. That was the Tilly I recognised – the woman I’d loved. I hadn’t expected that trip to Scotland to be the best thing that could have ever happened but it looked like it might have been.
39
POPPY