Page 32 of DOM: The Miami King

“Couldn’t sleep?” I asked takin’ a swig straight from the bottle.

She shrugged. “Didn’t wanna. You ever feel like you were born into the wrong life?” she finally asked.

I didn’t answer right away, because yeah, I knew that feelin’ well but I ain’t say it. If she felt that way, we felt that way for two totally different reasons. She was spoon-fed, and I got everything out the mud. A person who grew up on love couldn’t never relate to somebody who grew up on survival so she couldn’t even compare the two. No matter how she felt, she still grew up on love.

She turned to face me now, with her eyes softer than usual, and the glass still gripped in both hands. “I used to think I was special,” she admitted. “Like all the guards, all the restrictions… meant I was important. I really thought that I mattered at one point.” Her voice cracked just a little, but she caught it fast. “But lately… I don’t know. I think I figured it out.”

I raised a brow. “Figured what out?”

She set the glass down and deeply exhaled. “I’m not a princess right now, Dom. I’m a pawn in El Blanca’s game and he’s using me even though he loves me. I can feel it… you think I don’t notice the way things move when I show up somewhere? The way people look at me. You think I don’t know I was dropped at your door like a problem for you to manage for his own good and his own insecurities?”

I stayed quiet ‘cause I wasn’t here to confirm or deny and I damn sho’ wasn’t lettin’ the right hand know what the left was thinkin’ because the truth was, she wasn’t wrong. Her expression changed a little and not from anger, but because of hurt and I could tell it wasn’t about her uncle, It was about me too and she needed me to be her savior.

She stepped closer, just a few feet away now. “Who is she to you?” she asked.

I didn’t have to ask who she was talkin’ about to know she was speakin’ of Carmen. I saw the curiosity in her eyes whenever Carmen was around. I saw that fireball burnin’ in her eyeballs when she saw Carmen come out of the bedroom with me. I just didn’t address it because I didn’t owe nobody shit. “She’s important,” I simply replied.

“But what does that mean?” She tried to press not realizin’ she couldn’t press a man like me. “She acts like she’s nothing, but she moves like she’s everything. Like she knows you inside out.”

I looked her dead in her pretty eyes. “Because she does.”

She stared at me, waiting for more, more that she never got and would probably never get. Not because I was hidin’ anything, but because Carmen ain’t owed no explanations from nobody but me and I wasn’t about to put her name out there for Victoria to chew on just because her emotions were runnin’ high.

“She’s off limits,” I said flatly instead.

Victoria nodded; eyes were tight like she was still tryin’ to fight tears. “I get it.” She whispered leaning back against the counter, as if she was thinkin’ about what she wanted to say next. “I think I wanna stay in Miami… when this is all over. I want to start over and become someone else, someone who is free and doesn’t have to live like I’m cursed.”

I let her words linger for a second and then I shut it down. “You’re goin’ back.”

Her head jerked a little. “What?”

“When this is done? You go goin’ back. I don’t care how it ends.”

She blinked back more tears as she used her pointer finger to point towards her chest. “You don’t think I deserve a chance to choose?”

“No,” I said. “Not here… this city already got enough war in it. You ain’t addin’ to it.”

The kitchen was filled with silence once again and I could see the storm brewing’ behind her eyes from pain and betrayal and havin’ a deep craving for somethin’ real. Then she said it, “I think I’m fallin’ for you, Dom.”

I shook my head slowly. “You don’t even know me; you like the idea of what you see. I’m not the man you wanna fall for.”

“Why not?” she asked boldly.

“Because I’ll choose the game over you every single time. This world don’t let love breathe… and because… I feel sorry for you, Victoria, but that’s as far as it go.” I poured a glass of the Remy next instead of just takin’ another swig while I leaned against the counter and looked at her. The harder I looked, there was somethin’ about the way she was posted up that rubbed me wrong and not in a bad way, but it was just too familiar and expectant.

“You was waitin’ on me?” I finally asked, straight up.

She didn’t blink. “Maybe.” She shrugged

I felt my jaw tightened. “We ain’t doin’ that.”

“Ain’t doin’ what?”

“Don’t play dumb Victoria, I’m not that guy or one of them taco eatin’ muhfuckas.”

“You ever get tired, Dom?” she asked instead walkin’ closer with more questions. “Like just tired of carrying the world on your back and of always being the one with the answers or the one everybody calls when it’s time to die for something?” She stepped close enough for her scent to fill my nostrils. I just glared at her and chose not to answer her. She continued, “You ever want something just for yourself?”

No matter what she was sayin’ right now, my answer was still the same. “This ain’t what you want.”

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