“Easy for you to say,” I mumble, retrieving a box. I pop the top, pull out the small stick, read the simple instructions about how to tell whether it’s negative or positive, and I’m hit with nerves. “What if it’s negative?” I whisper through a constrictive throat.
“What if it’s positive?” Matilda counters, and I appreciate her positive outlook on a situation I didn’t even know I wanted a month ago.
Breathing deeply, I try to imagine my feelings if either outcome occurs, and nothing comes close to my emotions right now.
“Do you want this, Gabriella?” Matilda picks up on my hesitance.
“Yes,” I gasp, having been holding my breath. “But what if I’m not, and he changes his mind?” I glance over at her to find empathy in her eyes.
“Gabby, he loves you, and if I know anything about my dad, it’s that when he decides he wants something…someone…he doesn’t stop until it’s his.” She reaches over to grip my hand. “I’ve never seen him want someone the way he does you. And it’s not because of what you can give him. It’s because of what he wants to give you.”
Tapping my temple with a finger, I say, “In my head, I know this. He shows me in his actions and words. But here”—I tap my heart—“I’m afraid because of how I grew up. I’m terrified to let love rule when all it’s ever done is bite me in the derriere.”
Matilda snorts at my word usage while shaking her head. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about, and as much as it grosses me out to say this, the only one biting your ass will be my dad.”
We laugh together, and I start feeling better. I work past my fears as she leaves me alone to use the bathroom and take this test. I attempt to limit my expectations because, as excited as I am, I also worry that I’ll have the same conception troubles as my mother and grandmother before her. Both women had endometriosis, and according to the doctors, it was a miracle they could have even one child.
I hadn’t given it much thought before. I’m young and didn’t consider having kids for at least a few more years. It was never a plan or anything, but I’d wanted to be in a loving and committed relationship, which it appears that I now am.
“Hurry up!” Matilda calls through the door as I set the stick on the counter and wash my hands.
Opening the door, I say, “And now we wait.”
She’s already got a two-minute timer on her phone, showing me, as we move to sit on the end of the bed.
I stare down at the engagement ring Coltrain proposed with. Although now that I think about it, I realize he didn’t formally propose; he told me to marry him. Covering my mouth with my hand, I try to stifle my laughter.
“What’s so funny?” my friend asks, nudging my shoulder with hers.
“I just realized, he never asked me to marry him. He slid the ring on and said, ‘marry me, kitten’, without so much as a will you.”
“You said yes anyway.” I can only nod. “If it helps, Joshua did pretty much the same to me. He knew what he wanted and made sure he got it.”
We share knowing looks and then burst into hysterics over how both men are so similar but so different.
The next couple of minutes feel like an eternity as we wait. By the time Matilda’s timer goes off, I’m not feeling as stressed and can walk into the bathroom to see the results without it feeling like I’m walking off a cliff.
Breathing deeply as we return to the kitchen, I see both men on the patio discussing the perfect cook of a New York Strip steak. The sight is so domesticated, I feel emotional about it because I’ve never had moments like this growing up.
“You okay?” Matilda bumps my hip with hers as she starts chopping purple cabbage for the salad.
“Yeah, I am.” And I realize, it’s true. No matter what the future holds for us, I’ve found my family now. I have everything I need in this house, and with Coltrain as my partner, I’ll never want for anything.
For the first time in my life, I’m right where I’m meant to be.
CHAPTER 10
Coltrain
ONE MONTH LATER.
Crawling into bed behind Gabs' resting body, I pull her in close to me and whisper into her ear, “Kitten, you got something to tell me?”
I peek over at her face, her eyes closed, and I notice her trying to hide her smile and feign sleep.
She finally cracks. “No, Daddy.”
Nuzzling my nose just under her ear, I nibble her skin before growling, “You’re lying to me, kitten.”