Page 79 of Lesson In Faith

She glanced toward the doorway, hoping the man in question would be there.

“There’s going to be a little pain, maybe some blood. That’s all normal. I’m clean—no sexually transmitted diseases or infections—but I’ll wear a condom anyway.”

Her toes began to curl, her muscles seizing.

Her mouth was dry.

Fordham straightened and held his hand out. “Ready to take a little walk with me?”

Just get it over with before you freak out and throw up.

With one last longing look at the door, Tamsyn reached out slowly and set her hand in his. It was warm, his skin smoother than Merrick’s, the shape of it all wrong. Those pesky tears returned to sting her eyes as she took one faltering step after another, following Fordham as he gently guided her toward the bedroom.

“That’s a good girl. Just breathe, sweetheart.”

Sweat pearled on her skin beneath the robe, cold and foreboding. Her chest rose and fell in hard, shallow jerks, matching the sound of her breath huffing through her parted lips. She tripped over her own feet at the threshold.

“Don’t be afraid, Tamsyn. Everything’s fine. Just relax, and when you’re ready, take off the robe.” He released her hand when they reached the bed. “I can go as fast or as slow as you need me to, okay? One snap of your fingers and it all stops.”

He reached back over his head, gripping his sweater and shirt by the neck, and pulled them off in one fluid move. Muscles rippled, not as defined as Merrick’s, as he turned to set his clothing aside. His skin was paler, decorated in ink of various colors, and he had a thin trail of dark hair leading down from his navel.

He must have left his jacket and boots at the door when he came in, she thought numbly, watching his hands move to his belt buckle. Obviously, he was a man used to getting naked in front of strange women, because he certainly had no qualms about doing so in her presence.

At least he wasn’t procrastinating; he was here to do a job, after all.

Even as her eyes flicked over to the door again, she knew Merrick wasn’t coming. Part of her waited for him, sure he would come to his senses and stop this whole thing before… well, it wasn’t happening, so there wasn’t any point in getting her hopes up.

Shoulders drooping, she toyed with the belt of the robe, working the knot at her waist loose. The fabric gaped open down her middle, revealing the valley between her breasts, the stretch of untanned skin of her abdomen, the dark curls at the apex of her thighs.

That small amount of exposure made her feel more naked than actually being naked in front of Merrick did.

Fordham pulled a foil square from his pocket before his jeans plummeted to the carpet. He kicked them away, bending to strip off his socks, then straightened. His smile was patient, maybe a bit sympathetic. “All the way, sweetheart. You’re almost there.”

Heart heavy, spirit defeated, Tamsyn let the material slide off her shoulders to pool around her bare feet. She didn’t wait for him to coax her onto the bed, she just crawled on top of the covers and rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling.

It would be over soon.

Opening the package in his hand, Fordham rolled a thin sleeve over his erection before he sat beside her, laying his hand on hers. “I don’t know how you want me to do this, Tamsyn. We can take it slow, me touching you, giving you a chance to get used to me—”

God, no.

“—or we can just forge ahead and get it done.” He glanced down when her fingers twitched. “Figured that would be what you preferred. Are you okay with me on top?”

The nauseous feeling intensified, a full body shudder ripping through her, but she jerked her head in assent. She stiffened when he stroked a hand down her front, that smooth palm all kinds of wrong, to cover her mound.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Tamsyn. I just need to make sure you’re ready before…” Fordham’s blue eyes were roaming over her face, reading her, but she couldn’t meet them. “Take a nice, slow breath, sweetheart.”

She tried not to grimace when his fingers teased her sex—he wasn’t a bad man, she didn’t want to offend him—but it was allwrong. The length and thickness of his fingers, the texture of his skin, the weight and movement of his touch as he circled her entrance, dipping lightly into her dryness.

He made a low noise in his throat. “It’s okay to be scared, sweetheart. We both know I’m not Merrick, and that’s who you want. Need you to help me a bit here, because I’m not going to fuck you dry. What do you like? Nipple play, clit stimulation, dirty talk?”

Tamsyn bit her lip.

“Hmmm. Okay, let’s try a different way.” As graceful and elegant as a wolf stalking through the forest, Fordham shifted position, fluidly moving from sitting beside her to being on top of her. His forearms braced his weight by her head, the heat from his body soaking into her skin. His erection settled against her sex, rubbing lightly against her clit.

Pressure built in her chest, constricting her throat.

“Nothing needs to happen, Tamsyn. If you’re not ready, we can stop.” His dark head bent to press his lips to the pulse in her neck, skimming down along her shoulder. “Your heartbeat is going a mile a minute; I can feel your bones trembling. Snap your fingers, sweetheart.”

---