Page 36 of Lovesick

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EMILIA

Then, slowly, I reached for the roses and said, “Let’s talk inside.”

He didn’t step inside immediately. He looked at me with surprise in his eyes, his expression a mixture of confusion and hope.

“Are you sure?” he asked, and I nodded.

“Come on. Before I change my mind again.”

He stepped inside, moving way too reluctantly. Had he not wanted me to ask him in? To just hear him out and send him away again? I decided not to give that too much thought. This couldn’t be easy for him, and maybe he truly expected me to send him away.

He scanned the room once, taking in the mug on the table, the blanket draped over the arm of the couch, the candle that had burned down to its last inch. He didn’t say anything right away. Neither did I.

I sat back down slowly, tucking my legs underneath me, and placing the roses on my lap. He stayed near the door for a moment before lowering himself into the armchair across from me. There was space between us. Not just the physical kind.

His hands ran along his thighs, then he leaned forward slightly, elbows on his legs.

“I’ve been thinking about what to say for days,” he said, his voice lower now. “Trying to figure out how to explain something I barely understand myself.”

I didn’t interrupt. I wanted to know if he’d actually done the work. If this wasn’t just guilt wrapped in flowers.

“I didn’t come here to fix everything,” he said. “I know I can’t. And I’m not here because I suddenly figured out how to be someone better. I’m not there yet. But I’ve realized a few things—things I should have seen way before I opened my mouth and wrecked everything.”

He rubbed his hands together slowly. A nervous gesture. I’d never seen Dean nervous before. Not once.

“When I said what I said that day…” He winced. “It was cruel. I knew it the second it left my mouth. I wanted to take it back, but instead I doubled down. Like a coward.”

My throat felt tight again. I didn’t want to cry in front of him, not again. But his words hit harder than I expected.

“I’ve spent so long pretending that what we had was some casual thing. But it wasn’t that. It never was. And the moment I felt it slipping out of my control, I lashed out.” His eyes finally met mine. There was no coldness in them now. Just exhaustion. Honesty.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Emilia. You weren’t naïve or foolish. You didn’t read things wrong. I made you feel like it was one-sided, like you were delusional for thinking it meant something. But itdid. It still does.”

I looked down at the roses, twisting the paper around the stems between my fingers.

He continued, quieter now. “You made me feel something I didn’t expect. And I didn’t know how to hold it without breaking it. Without breakingyou.But I did it anyway. Because I thought it would be easier than saying what I really felt.”

I raised my eyes slowly, meeting his again. There was something raw in his face. Unfiltered. For once, no power play. No polished edge.

Dean swallowed hard. “I didn’t come here expecting forgiveness. I didn’t come to win you back. I came because I needed you to know the truth before the silence between us became permanent.”

I didn’t speak. Not yet.

He shifted, leaning back slightly. “You don’t owe me anything. Not your time. Not this conversation. But I needed to be here, in front of you, to say it out loud. You mattered to me.You matter to me.And I’m sorry it took me too long to say that the right way.”

There it was.

No defense. No excuses.

Just the quiet aftermath of a storm he had created.

But that meant nothing to me in that moment. I sat still for a long time, breathing through the lump in my throat.

“You hurt me,” I said, needing for him to hear it again.

“I know.” He didn’t flinch this time. “And I hate that I did. I’ve been selfish. Detached. A total fucking asshole. I kept telling myself that’s just who I am, but that’s not good enough anymore. If you never want to speak to me again, I’ll understand. I’ll leave, and I won’t bother you again. Keep it strictly professional at work from now on. But if there’s even a chance you’ll let me prove that I want to change, I needed to know.”

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