Don’t act like you’re not a huge part of this baby being spoiled.
Ellie
Should I share the screen shots of your Amazon cart, sir?
Or how about your past orders from say…the last five days?
Trevor
I retract my previous statement. Ellie is perfect. She is god’s gift to earth and I’m the luckiest man in the world.
Smiling at their messages, I look down further at the other text thread I’ve opened at least two hundred times in the last month, my thumb hovering over the send button but I’ve refused to let myself do it. All I’ve wanted to do for the past month is text Avery, and I’ve had to do everything I can to force myself to give her the space she needs to figure out what she wants.
Well, I’ve done really well, minus the day I randomly showed up to her sister’s apartment and brought her soup, but I guess I didn’t text her so that has to count for something, right?
So now, I’m sitting at home when I could be out with Miles, but I’m distracting myself with watching hockey highlights and a few of the games from last season. As much as I almost wish I had taken Miles up on his offer, I don’t think I would have been the best company, at least not since he seemed like he was definitely in the mood to party tonight.
Getting lost in the TV, a pizza in the oven, a beer in hand, and a pair of comfy sweats on and nothing else and this is as close to a perfect relaxing night as I can get, but then I hear a knock on my door. It’s quiet, would almost think it was one of my neighbors, but it sounds too close to be a neighbor.
Getting up, I walk over to the door and open it to check and am shocked when I see Avery on the other side of the door. What the hell is she doing here? When she looks up into my eyes, she looks terrifies, like she wants to run. It’s almost like she wasn’t expecting me to be here to actually answer the door and now that I have she’s not sure what to do.
Reminds me of my dog back on my parents’ land. He would catch a squirrel or a bunny but the second he got it, he’d flail and end up letting it go because he hadn’t planned what to do next.
“Hi?” I ask, not sure what else to say.
“Hi,” she says quietly, her fingers fidgeting in front of her body… she’s uncomfortable and I hate it. I hate that she feels like she can’t talk to me, especially because there’s nothing that she could say to me that I wouldn’t help her through. “Can I come in?” she finally asks.
“Of course,” I say, stepping back and letting her in. Leading her into the kitchen, I stop at the fridge and turn to Avery. “Can I get you something to drink? Beer? Wine? Whiskey?”
“Uh, I wish. Can I just have a water?” she asks, her eyes on me, but it feels like she’s staring through me. Like she’s here, but she’s not. I don’t like it at all. I don’t like that it feels like she’s disassociating from something.
Grabbing two waters out of the fridge, I walk over and lead her into the living room and to the couch. Taking a seat next to her, I pass her a bottle of water and just wait. Giving her a moment because for some reason, it feels like she’s fighting herself on something.
I’m just hoping she’s not here to tell me she’s going back to Peter. The only thing I can imagine her telling me that would cause such a distraught look in her eyes would be that, she knows it would crush me because although we haven’t discussed anything, I think I’ve made it pretty clear I like being around her.
“I—I need to talk to you about something… something important,” she says, pausing as she fiddles with the water bottle, her nails scraping at the paper, a habit she’s always done when she’s nervous.
Reaching over, I grab the water bottle and set it on the table before turning back and taking both of her hands in mine. She’s shaking, her hands trembling in what seems to be fear and Iwant to take it from her. Replace those feelings with better ones. Feelings of being safe and secure, because right now she seems so fragile and like one wrong move and I’ll send her running as fast as she can.
“Whatever it is… you can talk to me,” I tell her. Still praying it’s not about Peter.
“I have some news… I actually just found this out today…” she starts, and I’m confused. “Harris… I’m pregnant.”
The second those last two words are out in the universe; I feel like I’ve been sucker-punched. The worse fear imaginable now realized because now I realize it’s over. Any chance I had of ever making things work with Avery is out the door and that realization is too much, my heart physically hurts, like it’s been ripped out of my chest.
“Congratulations,” I say, doing my best to speak through the pain, attempting to sound excited for her as I take a step back. “I’m really happy for you.”
I need distance. No, what I really need is more time. If only I’d had just a little bit longer, maybe I could’ve shown her, maybe I could’ve kept her this time.
She looks at me confused, eyebrows scrunched together, and I’m not sure what’s happening. Part of me wants to be pissed that she’s here telling me this, because what does she expect? Does she want me to come to her and Peter’s baby shower in support of their baby? I don’t get it, but I also can’t bring myself to be a complete dick because I can tell by the look in her eyes and the way she’s shaking that she’s terrified.
“I’m not sure you’re understanding.”
“I am,” I say, swallowing my pride one last time. “I get it, we had one fun night but you’re going back to him. I’m happy for you, though; I always knew you’d be a great mom,” I say, sadness hitting me like a freight train at the absolute heartbreaking truth to those words. Looking away, I blink away the tears, refusing tolet them fall because this may be the end of my happiness, but it very well could be the start of hers.
Her eyes widen, mouth parting as she looks at me in shock.
“Wait… do you think I’m here telling you I’m having a baby with Peter?” she asks with a laugh. “Absolutely not. That man hasn’t stuck his dick in me in over six months.”