Page 75 of Filthiest Of Them All

“Thomas ruined a lot of people’s lives. He took loved ones from families and never cared about their loss or pain, as long as it served his agenda he didn’t care. I fucking hate to admit it but Nexus was the only person Thomas cared about aside from himself.” Vox’s words settle over and calm some of the anger inside me.

I continued looking through the house, seeing Nova’s old room gave me pause. When I went inside to take a look, Vox refused to come in saying that was part of his past and he refused to live it again. I have no idea what that meant but I didn’t push him either. Nexus’s room was next. It reminds me of a typical boys room, clothes were everywhere, the bed unmade and the curtains were askew as if the last time he was in here he just threw them open and left them as they were.

I stand in the center of my brother's room and spin around in a slow circle, taking it all in. His life growing up was so different to mine. I can clearly see the wealth he grew up with but I feel no envy, just pity for him. Our father bought his love and used him. He was nothing to Thomas but a tool to be used in a war of his own making. Tears prick the back of my eyes. I slam them closed and try to breathe through the pain. Yes, Nexus hurt me deeply but he’s still my brother.

“I won’t stand here and act like I’m sad knowing he’ll die, but I do feel sorry for you.” I snap my eyes open and swivel around to face Hayze. His eyes soften as he steps forward and places his hands on my shoulders in a comforting gesture. “He’s your brother and no matter how any of us feels, there will always be a part of you that will hate knowing he isn’t here with you. Part of you hates him for what he did, but a small part of you still wishes for the big brother you thought you would find when you learned you had a brother. I’m sorry, Tate, but that dream will never come true. We may not be blood but we are your found family. We’ll always have your back.” A lump forms in my throat and tears cloud my vision.

“T-thank you,” I rasp out past the lump.

“We know this is a lot for you to deal with on top of Alex fucking off, which is why we have come to a decision about your job.” Panic begins to rise inside me. I pull back from Hayze and implore him with my eyes not to do this, my job is the only thing I have left. “Tate, we want you to come to CHU with us and go to school. Once you finish school you can have your old job back if you want it, but we think CHU will be the best place for you.” I stare up at him like he’s lost his fucking mind.

I shake my head. “I can’t afford that,” I admit bitterly.

Vox and Ezekiel share a look before Ez comes to stand beside Hayze. “We aren’t going to force you but whenever you’re ready, there is a place for you at CHU with us. Think nothing of the cost. It has all been taken care of, so has your dorm and everything. This is a fresh start for you, Tate. After everything we all went through, a fresh start away from all of this shit is what we needed.”

I mull over his words and nibble on my lip. “Can I think about it?”

Ez nods. “Of course.” His tone is filled with pity and it's going to take a long time for them all to stop looking at me like I'm fragile.

“Do you think you guys could give me a minute alone?” I ask. All of them nod and tell me they’ll meet me back at the house. I thank them all and wait for them to leave before moving toward his bed and dropping down onto the edge. I twiddle my thumbs and try to sort through my wayward thoughts.

I actually liked you, I really did, but then you had to go and ruin it and let that fuck face between your legs and caught feelings. I’ll be sad to see you go but I won’t miss you.

His words play on repeat inside my head. I cared for him deeply. I let Nexus in, only for him to use me to get to Alex. He’s just as bad as my brother. He lulled me into a false sense of love, allowing me to think I found a home in him, only for him to toss me aside when he got what he wanted.

I guess I lost to a ghost.

I knew his love for his sister ran deep but I guess I just didn’t realize how badly he needed to satisfy his demons. I love him and I would have found a way to deal with him doing what he does. I don’t condone what he does, but I loved him enough to find a way to deal with that shit.

A part of me envies Ellie. Her brother went through hell to seek vengeance for her while my own just shit on me, used me as bait to lure out the most notorious killer in the country. Alex searched the world trying to seek justice for his sister, while my brother offered me up to a monster on a silver platter.

I let the monster devour me, own me and consume every part of me, only for him to spit me out when I served my purpose.

Tatum

Six months…

“Girl, it's bonfire night. You are coming!” I roll my eyes at Janet, her excitement is catchy and it's annoying as hell.

“I have to study, I have a paper due?—”

“Tatum! You are coming with us, don’t argue.” I groan. Janet beams at Nova, knowing there is no way I’ll win an argument against her. Vivian joins us then and I know without a doubt that she has already picked all of our outfits out. Janet and Vivian begin planning how we can do our hair. Nova is much like me, we don’t give a shit what we look like. I met Janet on my first day here at CHU. I was a nervous wreck and scared as hell, but she clung to me and helped me adapt to everything. The fact she gets on with Vivian and Nova as well as she does makes everything work with our little foursome.

“You okay?” Nova asks as we follow behind Janet and Vivian.

I release a tired sigh. “Yeah, just haven’t been sleeping well,” I admit.

“Still having those weird dreams?” she asks quietly.

I nod. “I can’t shake the feeling that I’m being watched.”

She nods. “I get it. That shit takes a long time to get over. If you need to talk, I’m here.” I smile my thanks but don’t reply. I've been struggling for a couple of months to get more than a couple of hours of sleep a night. I thought I was past this shit but I guess not. A couple of weeks back I woke up and swore I saw a shadow in the corner of my room, but when I turned the light on, it was gone. A part of me wishes it was Alex but another part doesn’t. He’s clearly moved on and it's whatever.

I tried to reach out to him but his number is disconnected, so are the others. It hurt knowing that the guys cut me off. The one that stings just as badly as Alex is Omen. I thought he and I were friends, but that’s just another thing I was wrong about. For the rest of the afternoon I’m caught up in my head and don’t snap out of it until we get to the beach. I look around at all the students smiling and drinking like life is the greatest gift. I envy their happiness.

“Dawson is checking you out,” Vivian whispers. I snap my head toward her and frown.

“We’re just friends,” I defend.

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