Page 105 of Elusion

I take a deep breath to avoid laying into my mother. “No, none involve me attending law school.”

For the first time in my life, I witness my mother roll her eyes. The single gesture speaks volumes of my defeat before I truly begin.

I glance at Dustin for support, but he jumps up and steps out of the room. There goes my self-proclaimed second line of defense. Our new solidarity must not have extended over the threshold.

Thanks, brother.

“Do any put your future ahead of a silly relationship?” Carol continues.

Ray pinches the bridge of his nose and sinks back on the couch. “We agreed not to discuss any of this until after he told us what he’d come up with.”

She purses her lips, waiting for my response, and I gladly fucking deliver.

“What exactly did you want me to come in here and say, Mother? That I decided to break up with my girlfriend to appease you? Because I thought we were here to discuss what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, not what I can do to win your approval.”

Her mouth transforms into a hard line. “We rarely ask anything of you. But we do expect you to honor your commitments.”

Thinking about my twelve-year-old self with a stress-ulcer, ready to pull my hair out, I smile. Long before I agreed to go to law school, I made a promise to him, and damn it, I will keep it. “I don’t give a shit what you expect.”

Carol’s hand flies to her mouth, her eyes wide when she looks to my father for his reaction to my indefensible behavior. The corners of his mouth slightly curl up until he clears his throat.

“Let’s watch our language, son,” he says.

My hands go up in apology. “Of course.”

We wouldn’t want our conversation to become overly emotional. Not in this family.

“Let’s start over and hear what you’ve come up with.” Ray winks.

I wait on my mother, who sips her chardonnay, unhurried.

Eventually, she runs out of wine and crosses her legs. “I’m listening.”

And we begin again.

“So, I’ve been doing research on the philosophy department in Pittsburgh. The latest numbers show—”

“Jordan”—Dustin’s in the doorway—“you need to take this.”

At first, I’m annoyed with the interruption, but then I notice his expression. Eyebrows drawn together and lips parted. His chest moves erratically, and he holds a phone against it. My phone.

“They can call back,” Carol says. “Especially if it’s thatgirl.”

My eyes stay on Dustin; his never leave me.

“It’s Callie.” He says it in a way that makes me uneasy. Like there is more he’s not saying, or the words mean something else entirely.

And I’m on my feet.

Carol scoffs. “You need to prioritize, or we’ll never be able to trust you to make the right decision.”

My attention drags from Dustin to her. “The girl is my priority. She is the right decision. You can like it or not, be a part of my life or don’t. Go ahead and choose, but as far as what I do after graduation and who I do it with, that choice is mine.”

Not the least bit interested in Carol’s reaction, I cross the room to Dustin. He pulls me out to the hallway and shuts the door behind us. The concern in his eyes and his hand staying on my shoulder amplify the anxiety buzzing through me.

Something is wrong. Really. Fucking. Wrong.

By the time he hands me the phone, I no longer expect Callie’s voice to answer me, but,Christ, I need it to be her.

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