Page 55 of Elusion

“Great. So, you’ll throw them away?”

“Nope.” He refolds the paper and stashes it back in his wallet. “I’m hanging on to them in case you piss me off again.”

My glare goes unnoticed as he disappears up the stairs, but I let it go. We both know he won’t bring them up again and risk reminding me of my feelings for Callie. Complete misery mode might have ended, but as the lyrics prove, I’m not as over her, as I’d like. I never realized how empty my life felt until I discovered something that made it better. Then I lost it, and now that I know what I’m missing out on, everything left seems less significant. Along with this bright new view, I’ve made a glorious return to floating mindlessly through life with the added bonus of not caring what happens. Not even a loss of freedom and locking into a career I have no interest in bothers me anymore.

My new outlook makes me a goddamn delight.

A few pages of notes in, Johnny cruises through the living room, wearing jeans without holes. I do a double take. “Oh God, end times are upon us.”

He flips me off. “I’m hitting a party at State tonight. You want to come?”

I gesture to the study materials covering the table and couch cushions on either side of me. “Plus, I need to pack tonight. My flight leaves tomorrow afternoon.”

“I assume Dustin has arranged for everyone to receive a shot of penicillin on the flight home?”

I chuckle, having asked the same question. “I figure it’ll be a good way to get out of whatever state I’ve been in lately. A full reset, courtesy of an endless supply of booze and girls in bikinis, ready to make poor life choices.”

He shakes his head either in disapproval of my methods or doubtful of their chances for success. “Are you going anywhere tonight?”

“No plans,” I say. “Why?”

He shoves his hands in his pockets and looks at me through his lashes like he’s trying to fucking seduce me. “It’s a pity to leave your Jeep in the driveway all night.”

Oh. He is trying to seduce me. He owns a motorcycle and frequently borrows my vehicle when it’s cold. His ski trip with Gavin will end a few days before I get back, and he’s already asked if he can drive it then.

I toss him my keys. “Don’t let Benji drive.”

“Aye, aye,capitán.”

Speaking of, Benji comes down the stairs, and Johnny follows him to the kitchen. I go back to my notes, skimming over the existentialist concept of bad faith. At least I am until parts of their conversation travel in, hijacking my concentration.

“…Jess and Felicia are going … leaving soon.”

“Does Calico know we … possibly … with him in there?”

I tap a finger, trying to block them out but fail—hard. Callie plans on going to another party. Another party at another college and another night of driving myself insane, thinking about her with another guy.

At a party over an hour away from the dorms, she won’t be able to storm out to avoid me. I can find her, make her talk to me, maybe figure all of this out. I stand up to inform them I want to go. Then I sit straight back down. Enough people in Callie’s life force her to do things. Regardless of how much I want closure, I want my name to stay off that list more.

She’s made it clear what she wants, and the time has arrived for me to let her go. I’ll stick to the plan. Study tonight, leave tomorrow, and return with a new perspective to a life that doesn’t include Callie Henders.

Either my arguments have grown stronger since I ran after her the night of the frat party, or I’m finally ready to accept her not being a part of my life anymore. Whatever the reason, the once-overpowering urge to chase her never emerges. Not even when Benji and Johnny walk out the door to go see her without me.

The next morning, Dr. Miller reads a journal article at his desk. I turn in my blue book, and he peers up over the top of his bifocals. “I’m confident you’ve given me a fascinating read.”

“Nonsensical ramblings of a madman, I’m sure.”

“There’s a fine line between the madman and genius, Mr. Waters.”

“And I have terrible balance, sir.”

He chuckles as I stroll out of the lecture hall.

As my flight draws closer, the more ready I am for spring break and to wipe the last few weeks from my mind permanently. A spectacular ass even garners my attention as it passes me in the parking lot. I spin and walk backward to enjoy the view a little longer. The blonde looks over her shoulder. I respond with my, as of late, greatly underutilizedget somegrin. She blushes and bites her bottom lip.

I drive back to the house and gather anything I don’t want in my Jeep over the next week.Only use in emergenciesto Johnny translates to anytime he damn well pleases. I’ll consider myself lucky if she’s in one piece when I return. He’s in the kitchen, and I toss him the keys on my way through. Already itching to go somewhere, he heads straight out the door. Predictable.

Upstairs, I finish the last bit of packing and zip up my carry-on, securing the luggage tag to the handle. The suitcase bangs on the stairs as I drag it behind me. I set it by the entryway before retreating back up to kill time until the cab arrives. My foot hits the top step as someone knocks.

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