Page 100 of Limbo

“This is my life. It will be for a long time. I can’t escape it or avoid it, and even if I could, I wouldn’t. I’m all they have, and I’ll never take that away from them.” I force my gaze back to Jordan. “But this isn’t your life, Jordan, and I don’t want it to be, because if you make stupid decisions for me, then one day…” The tears spill over when I finally figure out what I’m really scared of. What I truly dread. “One day, you’ll look at me the way Graham does, and the thought of that ever happening kills me.”

And it will happen if he stays for me. Maybe not at first but somewhere down the line. He’ll wake up, hating his life, and blame me for everything he missed. Eventually, he’ll realize I was never worth any of this.

He takes another step, and I put my hands up to stop him. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to kiss you,” he says.

I wipe the tears off my face. “You can’t just kiss me to end a fight.”

“You can go back to yelling at me right after, I promise.”

Sad, mad, whatever I am, I almost smile. “I hate when you do that.”

“Do what?” he asks.

“That thing where you frustrate me and then say or do something…” I stop and give myself a breath before he distracts me from my point. “Promise you won’t stay for me, Jordan.”

“Don’t tell me what to do, Callie.”

Two strides bring him chest-to-chest with me. I back up, but he catches me and holds me to him.

His thumb brushes over my cheek. “I’m going to kiss you now, but it’s not to end our fight. I’m going to kiss you because I…”

He hesitates, swallowing hard and letting the start of whatever he plans to say hang between us. The heart-hammering gaze he gives me grows even more intense, and an overwhelming panic surges through me. Afraid of what might come out of his mouth next, I’m about to stop him when his thumb passes over my cheek again.

“I’m going to kiss you because I’m Jordan, and you’re Callie. And that’s more than enough reason to kiss you.”

I stare up at him, describing him the only way I can. “Frustrating and perfect.”

He kisses my forehead, then the tip of my nose before his lips press to mine. He pulls back, and I clasp my hands behind his neck. Searching his eyes, I’m still unable to find a sliver of doubt in those green depths.

“You never have to worry about me, beautiful,” he says. “All the stupid decisions I make in my life will be no one’s fault but my own.”

“How many do you plan on making?”

“Oh, we’re talking about a lot of them.” He sways me back and forth, dancing without music. “But the last stupid decision I made turned out pretty great actually.”

“What was that one?”

“I chased a girl who wanted nothing to do with me. Now she finds me irresistible and wants to make out with me in my high school bedroom.”

I smile, not bothering to mention a part of me always wanted him. It would only further inflate the kid’s ego. He kisses me again, and maybe I should still be worrying about all the things I was a few minutes ago. But I’m not. I can’t be.

Not in his arms and not with his lips on mine.

The weekend before finals, a bang wakes me.

I take a few seconds to remember where I am, used to waking up tangled in Jordan’s arms. Since our fight at his parents’ house, we’ve spent every night together other than last weekend when I went to Graham’s and these two at Lauren’s.

I blink at the alarm clock.Shit.It’s after two in the morning. I only went to bed an hour ago after getting Connor to shut off the slasher flick. Which is why I’m more than a little terrified to see a shadow looming in my doorway. Light streams in from the hallway, and I squint at the outline of my mother tearing across the room.

“Get the fuck up, you stupid slut.” She slurs, but that’s the gist.

Before I canget the fuck upor do anything else, she grabs the front of my tank top and tries to jerk me out of bed.

“What the fuck?” I kick to get her off me, but she snatches hold of my hair.

Keeping one hand on hers and one tight on her wrist to stop her from pulling harder, I get to my feet while she spits out every name she can think of, one mumbled insult after another. Her other arm wraps around me, and like we’re tied together, we stumble across the room until she bumps into the dresser. It knocks against the wall, and a jewelry box crashes to the floor. Lauren spins us around, so the edge of the dresser digs into my hip. I squeeze on her wrist, twisting at the skin until her grip releases. As I shove her away, both her hands grasp my shirt, and she drags me to the door.

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