Page 43 of Just Business

I get out of bed and head back to the living room because there's no way in hell it's safe to have this discussion with him in my bedroom.

Austin must run back, because not even a full minute passes before I hear my side door open. In the time I was texting Josie, he’s changed into dry clothes—and damn him, he’s wearing a pair of gray sweatpants. How dare he. I’m all confused and still sexually frustrated, and he has the audacity to wear gray sweatpants.

He stops right inside the door, closing it behind him and I motion for him to sit on the couch with me. Hurt is still rolling off him in waves, but he only hesitates for a minute. When he sits, I get a whiff of his all-too-familiar scent.

“I owe you an apology.”

He starts shaking his head as soon as the words are out of my mouth. “Nope. No, you don’t. This is on me. I pushed you.”

“And I didn’t put up much of a fight, did I?” It's obvious we’ll talk in circles unless I come right out with it. With one shaky breath, I admit what I’m feeling. “I like you. Like I said earlier, things have happened quickly, and I like you more than I should for such a short time…and it scares the shit out of me.”

I tell him exactly what I texted Josie—how the fear of losing Honey reminded me how much I’ve lost and what I stand to lose when he leaves.

“I’m scared,” I say again.

Austin’s eyes soften, and he reaches for my hands. Something about the rough sensation of his fingertips against my skin centers my scattered emotions.

“You know, I'm scared, too. I get it."

“This trip you’re on has an expiration date.Wehave an expiration date. What happens then?”

He’s rubbing small circles on my hands, and those damn butterflies wake up from their nap.

Austin drops my hands, resting his head on the back of my couch. “Honestly, I don’t know what will happen. All I know is you’re all I think about. All I wanna do is spend every waking minute with you. I’ve never felt like this, to be honest. This is completely new for me."

“What about that pop star you were dating? Celeste. That looked pretty serious. Looked like it lasted a long time.”

“Has somebody been googling me again?” He looks over at me, his mouth hitching up in that smirk of his, but he shakes his head. “No, that wasn’t really anything. We started off as friends with benefits, but we just weren’t into each other like that. We ended up with only the friends part. We both needed a date for events. The media ran with it, and we didn’t bother correcting anyone. It made things easier.” Austin gives a one-shouldered shrug.

I turn his words over in my mind, trying to remember when I first started seeing things about him and Celeste. Celebrities’ love lives have never really been on my radar, but if my memory serves me correctly, it went on for at least a few years.

“How long did you and her let it go on for?”

“Something like three or four years, give or take. It was easy. She was busy, I was busy. All we had to do was make some appearances together, and it helped both of us avoid any scandal. She’s a wonderful person, but we hardly talk anymore. She met someone she actually wants something with, and we ended as friends.”

Three or four years. Wow. That’s a long time to fake a relationship.

"So, have you had a real relationship?" I ask.

He tilts his hand back and forth. "Off and on, here and there. Knowing what's real and who just wants to be seen with me is hard. It makes relationships exhausting. People think when you get famous you’ve got it made. But it can be a lonely life."

"I’m not like that. You know that, right? I couldn't care less if you're famous or a regular guy."

He barks out a laugh. "Yeah, you made that perfectly clear on day one when you were hell-bent on putting me in my place."

My next words come out shaky. “So what the hell are we doing here?"

Austin straightens and turns to me. “I don’t know how many promises I can realistically make to you. My life has a lot of moving pieces right now. The one thing I can promise is that I’ll do everything I can to figure it out, okay? I don't know what that looks like, but please, trust me on this."

“Where does this leave us?” I ask him.

“Ball’s in your court. It has been from the beginning; I’m just following your lead.” His eyes cling to mine, filled with hope. “What do you want this to be?”

When I was a teenager, my friends and I went to Six Flags. I remember how it felt to ride my first roller coaster. You’re climbing, climbing, climbing to the tippy top, not really sure what it’ll be like on the other side. That’s what this moment feels like.

“I want to try for something real,” I tell him, and suddenly I’m taking the plunge, falling into the unknown. “But I need you to know, I don’t do casual. If we date, I’ll only be dating you.”

“Well, seeing how you're all I want, it’s safe to say I’ll also only be dating you.” Austin’s throat bobs and his eyes dart down to my lips. “Can I kiss you again?”

---