Page 81 of Just Business

I’m almost to the bottom of the stack, when an envelope from the bank catches my attention. I sit staring at it with a sinking feeling, my mind already latching onto worst case scenarios. What if I forgot to pay last month? Surely I didn’t. It’s set to auto-pay. But I’ve been distracted the last couple months, maybe something slipped past me?

After several deep breaths, I tear open the envelope and pull out the papers inside. It takes a second for my brain to process what I’m looking at. It’s a mortgage release form, with the words PAID IN FULL stamped across the top in bright red ink.

My breath stutters, coming out shaky as my hand flies to my mouth.

I did it. Oh my gosh, I did it.

The realization slams into me, sudden and overwhelming. I knew I was close, but I failed to realize just how close I was. My nose starts to burn and I drop my head into my hands. This is exactly the win I needed.

Suddenly I know where I have to go. Grabbing my shoes, I go to my car and hop in, heading to the one place I’ve been avoiding for far too long.

The cemetery where my parents and grandparents are buried sits behind the First Methodist Church on the edge of town. My nana and pops’ stones sit next to Mom and Dad’s, with a small concrete bench off to the side. I lower myself onto the ground between their graves.

“Mom and Dad, I did it.” My whisper carries into the breeze, and I’m certain that wherever they are they can hear me. “We’re back on track.”

Reaching up, I trace my finger over my dad’s name engraved on the cool stone.

“I forgive you, Dad,” I say, my voice cracking. “I was pretty damn mad at you, I’m not gonna lie. I still am, but I forgive you. I can’t even begin to imagine what it must’ve felt like for you to lose Mom.” I swallow hard, trying to hold back the sob rising in my chest.

“Mom, you always told me to dream big and I didn’t do that.” My whispered confession is barely audible over the rustle of leaves. “I’ve lived everyone else’s dream. But I think it’s time I live mine.”

I fold my knees to my chest and lean against the stone as my words settle around me. A warm autumn breeze stirs and for a moment, it feels like I’m not alone. Like they’re sitting right beside me.

That's when I see it.

Perched on the bench next to me is a single red Cardinal. It’s standing completely still, watching me. Right after my mom passed away, I spent a lot of time with my nana. She’d always tell me that whenever I see a red bird, it means my mom is near.

Tears spill over unrestrained as the grief I’ve been holding in crashes over me. This time I don’t fight it, I just sit in it, feeling everything I’ve been too afraid to face.

“I miss all of you like crazy,” I say once my tears have slowed. “So many things have happened that I wish you could’ve been here for. I’ve met someone, although I have a feeling y’all already know this. Dad, you’d love him.” A small smile tugs at my lips, even as that familiar ache tightens in my chest. “He’s a good man. You’d love playing music with him. But I have to tell you a secret…he’s not a Bama fan.” I laugh to myself imagining the football debates they’d have if Dad were here.

“Penny?”

A familiar voice startles me, dragging me from my thoughts. I stand shielding my eyes from the sun as Greg walks toward me holding a small bouquet of flowers. He must notice my tear streaked face once he gets closer, because he opens his arms and I go to him accepting his fatherly embrace.

When I pull back, he studies me, his eyes filled with tenderness. “You wanna talk about it?”

I nod but say nothing, turning toward the concrete bench. I sit and he comes to settle beside me. Something inside my chest loosens and I tell him everything. I tell him about the debt and the finances. I tell him about how lonely I’ve been and how much I miss my family. Finally, I tell him about the bedrooms in my house.

When I finish, Greg doesn’t speak right away. He just sits, staring off into the distance, his expression unreadable.

Finally, he turns to me, his voice gentle but firm. “They wouldn’t want you living like this. Your parents would want you to live your life to the fullest, even if it means backing away from the studio some.” His steady gaze holds mine. “It might not have seemed like it there at the end, but your happiness was your dad’s number one concern.”

A lump forms in my throat, but I say nothing.

Greg leans forward, studying me. “So what are you going to do to get that full life back? The life you deserve?”

I allow my mind to consider what a full life even looks like. My mind conjures an image of a life with Austin, maybe a few kids at some point, and a life surrounded by music. That sounds damn near perfect. Ideas begin swirling in my mind and I’m finally ready to get started.

“Greg, I think I have some ideas. Wanna help?”

First, we head to the market and grab all the empty boxes they have by the dumpster. I’ll probably need more than they’ve got, but they promised to save some for me.

Next, I pull out my phone and shoot a text to Cassie.

Hey, you got any plans tonight? I need a big favor.

Cassie

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