Page 71 of The Boss

I’d never beento Virginia Beach before. It was nice, especially since Mom and I had gotten here before the inevitable flood of college kids, eager to spend their spring break on a beach. We’d driven here on Monday, not arriving until late at night, but I’d been glad that we hadn’t waited. Mom hadn’t pushed me for more about what had happened, instead sticking with more mundane topics, the sorts of things that we’d always talked about over lunch or the occasional glass of wine.

Yesterday, it’d been cloudy and a bit chilly, so we’d gone shopping. Mostly window shopping since we’d splurged on a nice hotel, but I’d picked up a couple things as souvenirs. Today, the sun was bright, the sky cloudless, making it warmer than I’d expected and just the right temperature to wear my new two-piece and matching sarong. Everything was absolutely perfect for sitting on the hotel’s private beach and reading.

If I hadn’t been so miserable, I might’ve enjoyed it. Ishouldhave enjoyed it. I’d always wanted to go to the beach and having a few days for uninterrupted reading was always good. And I never said no to spending time with my mother. One of the many things my mom’s cancer had taught me was to not take any second with her for granted. Not the way Mona Wadsworth had.

I didn’t like thinking about my mom’s former lover, and most of the time, it was easy not to, but when something upsetting happened, I found her haunting my thoughts. For all I knew, haunting was all she could do now. I hadn’t heard from her in a decade, and I’d never had the desire to find her, alive or dead.

For thirteen years, Mona had been my second mom, but I’d always called her by her first name. The day she’d left, like most kids in that situation, I’d wondered if it was my fault. As days had passed and she’d never called or come to see me, I’d gotten more and more depressed, thinking I’d done something that made her hate me.

Finally, Mom told me that Mona had lied to her about wanting a kid, that all those years Mona had given excuses for this thing and that one, that’s all they’d been. Excuses. Mona hadn’t wanted to come to my choir concerts or swim meets because she hadn’t wanted a kid and the responsibilities that came along with one.

I pushed thoughts of Mona out of my mind, and for a few minutes, I was able to lose myself in the book I’d brought with me. Mom was reading, too, a magazine on her tablet. I wasn’t sure what it was, but she was using one of those special pens to make notes, so she was probably working on something for one professor or another. The part-time researcher position her former advisor at NYU had made for her years ago was now a full-time job.

Sometimes, I wondered if her love for history had grown because she wanted to find family. Not necessarily anyone living, but family who were worth something. Even though she’d never come out and said it, we both knew that her immediate biological family wasn’t worth shit. Delving into her own history, she’d found suffragettes and abolitionists, one of Broadway’s first costume designers, and a record-holding triathlete. Those were my ancestors, too, and I was proud of that.

I was proud of her.

I knew that, sometimes, she felt like she’d failed me, that she wasn’t a good mother because we only had each other. I’d told her more than once that I’d rather have one good family member than a huge family of assholes. We’d both talked that way a lot after Mona had left. Mom hadn’t dated anyone since.

One thing we never spoke of, though, was my father. I never brought it up because I knew it would hurt her if she thought I felt slighted for not knowing him. She’d never lied to me about how I’d come to be. How, instead of asking a male friend who might have contested custody at some point, she and Mona had decided on an anonymous sperm donor. After Mona left, I’d been old enough to figure out that Mom had been the one to make that decision on her own.

“You’re doing it again.”

Mom’s voice drew my attention, and when I looked at her, she smiled.

“What am I doing?” I asked.

“You’re thinking about him.”

I shook my head, glad I could answer truthfully. “I’m not. I promise.”

She reached out and squeezed my hand. “Well, you’re thinking about something far too hard.”

She gave me a searching look, and I prayed that she couldn’t see what I was keeping from her.

“You’re thinking about Mona.” To anyone else, Mom’s voice would’ve sounded the same as it had a minute ago, but I knew her, and because of that, I saw the lines at the corners of her eyes tighten and heard the minute tremble in those words.

I shrugged. “Not exactly. I was just thinking about family.” She winced, and it was my turn to squeeze her hand. “I was thinking how you and I don’t need anyone else. We’re all the family we need.”

We sat in silence for a moment, letting that truth hang in the air between us, then we each turned back to what we’d been reading. I wasn’t sure if she was concentrating better than I was, but I’d pretend as long as she did. Sometimes, the best way to relax was just to sit and not think about anything at all. I’d never been much good at doing that, but today might be an exception.

“How’s your book?”

I froze, my mind telling me that I couldn’t possibly have heard the voice I thought I heard, but the adrenaline that dumped into my veins the moment he spoke was all I truly needed.

I raised my head slowly, as if the speed made a difference to what I would see,whoI would see.

“Nate.”

Forty-Six

Nate

I’d never realizedhow helpful nosy neighbors could be until I sat down for coffee and cookies with Mrs. Posner. She’d nearly talked my ear off, but I’d gotten the information I’d needed. Ashlee was with her mom in Virginia Beach.

I’d also learned some information that I hadn’t been after, but I’d paid attention to it all the same.

Ashlee’s mother, Roberta Webb, had raised Ashlee on her own. As far as Mrs. Posner knew, Roberta didn’t date, and there’d been no mention of any sort of father. Ashlee dated some, but no man had stayed overnight. I’d already known that.

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