Page 2 of The Master

Feeling that way was what pissed me off the most. I loved my job. I’d sacrificed more for it than anyone, but Finley knew, and even he didn’t know the graphic details. I couldn’t let Ashlee rob me of everything I’d worked my ass off to build.

Decision made, I decreased my speed and went through my cool-down. Once I was done, I’d shower and crash. Tomorrow, once I got home from Jacob’s birthday party, I’d figure out what I needed to do to get Stu to fire Ashlee. Her days at Manhattan Records were numbered, and I’d be able to get back to my much-missed normal life once it was done.

Maybe I’d celebrate by heading to Club Privé and finding someone who understood the way I did things. There were always plenty of willing subs for a good-looking Dom like me. Ones who didn’t need me to teach them how the game was played. That was what I wanted.

And no one – not even me – was going to convince me otherwise.

Two

Ashlee

When I wasa freshman in college, my general psych professor discussed the commonly used definition of insanity – doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results. Most of what I’d learned in the classes that hadn’t been part of my major had disappeared not long after the final exam. That particular bit of information had apparently remained buried in my subconscious, lurking until last week when Nate and I fought about the recordings I’d found of him and former lovers.

We hadn’t been together long, and it seemed like we’d spent the majority of that time fighting, but I’d been willing to put in the work because I thought we’d reached a point where we’d actually talk when we had a problem. We’d done the whole ‘keeping secrets’ thing, and I’d been as guilty of it as Nate.

When he told me about having sex with Calah, even though she’d been dating his brother, I thought it’d been a breakthrough. That night, I’d even been willing to talk to him about what I’d seen instead of jumping to conclusions.

Except he’d had the exact same reaction he’d had when I’d asked if he’d slept with his brother’s girlfriend. He’d lashed out verbally, accusing me of things and blaming me for what I’d seen, as if my curiosity had truly been the issue at hand. It hadn’t been as if I’d gone digging through a desk or locked drawer. I’d simply been looking for something to watch because I hadn’t been able to sleep. The cabinet under the television had been a logical place to look.

It had been his response as much as the rest of it that had made me leave. I’d never once doubted my trust in him sexually. He’d never degraded or humiliated me, never made me feel unsafe. But I’d wanted more than just his body.

I thought he’d felt the same, but he’d proven more than once that I couldn’t trust him with anything more than the physical aspect of things. This last time had been the final straw, and I’d remembered my professor’s statement as I’d taken the elevator down to the lobby.

It had to end. I couldn’t keep trying to make things work while he continued to blow them up.

I had to move on with my life and chalk up the past month as life experience to learn from. I would get past this. I’d seen my mother do it when Mona walked out on us, and they’d been together for years. I could do it with Nate, even if my working at Manhattan Records made it awkward.

At least my new contract made it possible for us to avoid ever needing to have a work conversation. I wasn’t sure how much either of my bosses knew about Nate and me, but due to my freelance status, I didn’t need to explain to Mr. Hancock why I didn’t want to deal with Nate directly. I did my work, and it was Mr. Hancock’s job to make sure the right people knew what they needed to know.

Still, whether I saw Nate or not, I always knew he was in the building, right down the hall from me. I was all too aware of the things we’d done here, of the way we’d met. I desperately wanted to believe that I could stay on at Manhattan Records and be closer to my father, but after only a month of being with Nate, I was finding it more difficult than I liked to get things back to the way they had been before Nate had overheard Flora Watts talking to me about him. Before he and I–

Someone snapped their fingers in front of my eyes, breaking the hold my thoughts had on me and bringing me back to the present, though it took me a minute to remember where I was and what I was doing.

The young man sitting next to me was tall, lean, and blond with sparkling hazel eyes. In the chair across from us was another man about the same age, but he was short and stocky, with brown hair and intelligent blue eyes. They were both watching me with concerned expressions on their faces, and I offered them a tight smile in an attempt to reassure them that I was okay. It wasn’t great, but it was the best I could do at the moment.

Perry Post and Gary Whittaker lived across the hall from me, and most of the time, we were basic neighbor-friendly. Smiles and greetings any time we saw each other. Conversations when we happened to be doing our laundry at the same time. We were the sort of neighbors who’d ask questions if we saw anything suspicious, but we’d never really gone out of our way to spend time together.

That had changed this week.

I’d left Nate’s place before dawn last week and managed to keep it together all the way home, but when I’d gotten to my door, I hadn’t been able to find my key. I’d broken down in tears right there in the hallway. I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done if Perry hadn’t been up with a bout of insomnia. He’d taken one look at me with my tear-streaked face and just-fucked hair, wearing men’s clothes that were entirely too big, and put his arms around me.

I might’ve been able to get myself under control if he hadn’t said, “Fuck whoever made you cry.” His sincerity had made me cry harder, which led him to take me into the apartment, sit me down on the couch, and make me some hot cocoa. When I’d managed to wheeze out that he didn’t need to go to the trouble, he’d told me that he’d been making himself some already. He’d recently broken up with his boyfriend after finding out that Jared was married with three kids.

The two of us had talked for nearly an hour before I’d started nodding off. He’d given me his bed and said he’d take care of the key issue. By the time I’d woken up later that morning, the lock had been changed on the door, and Perry had new keys for me. Gary had made French toast for all three of us.

It had almost been enough to make me start crying again.

I’d thanked them with dinner on Sunday, and each night, one of them had checked in with me to see how I was doing. I’d always been such a solitary person, content to have my mother as my closest friend, but this week, I’d been glad to have friends other than her to turn to. I hadn’t told her yet that Nate and I had broken up, and I honestly didn’t know when or how I was going to. She’d canceled our Sunday brunch because she’d needed to meet with someone about work, and I was still ashamed at how relieved I’d been.

Yet another thing to talk to my new friends about.

“You were doing it again,” Perry said, putting his arm around my shoulders.

I leaned against him and tucked my feet under me. “Thanks.”

“Are you going to see your mom on Sunday?” Gary asked.

I also heard what he wasn’t asking. He wanted to know if I was going to tell her what’d happened. I didn’t want to lie to her, and I knew she’d ask how things were going with Nate. I’d managed to evade the question so far this week by sticking to texts and telling her I was spending a lot of time with my neighbors since one of them had just gotten out of a bad relationship. Technically, it was a lie of omission rather than a direct lie, but I wasn’t going to nitpick. I felt guilty enough as it was.

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